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Part Trois of You Can't Make This Stuff Up

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Posted: #1

Everybody knows Trump eats Big Macs in bed late at night but we wants to change the public's opinion of him being a big fat, lazy slob who weighs close to 300 pounds. So he's changing his eating habits starting with breakfast this morning & invited former and current administation members to join him.

Each morning Trump would lay in his room for breakfast eating Boarshead liverwurst on a poppyseed bagel smothered with mayonaise & a Diet Coke. When finished, he would summon Ivanka & she would pick out the poppyseeds stuck between his teeth with her tongue. But this  morning, it was nothing but cereal for everyone. He selected certain cereals for each in attendance.

Jeff Sessions stopped by for a bowl of Special KKK.

General Kelly enjoyed Cap'n "I Don't Have A Hunch" Crunch.

Stephen Miller couldn't finish his bowl of Leerios because he was watching Hope Hicks devour her Fellatio a la Banana.

Kirstjen Nielsen was having trouble swallowing her Ice Krispies but Gingrich loved his Newt Loops.

Reported Rape Flakes was a special order for Judge Kavanaugh & Zinkie inhaled his bowl of Mucky Charms.

Chris Christie showed up uninvited & had a bowl of Cyber One & Butt N Honey since his butt was sent to the curb.

Melania arrived fashinably late for her serving of Broke hoe Puffs along with Rick Perry who picked at his cup of Faker Oats.

Trump grossed out all in attendance when he poured a Diet Coke over his bowls of of Honeycombover & Tweeties.

 

Rudy showed up because he thought everyone was going to a football game, But he didn't realize the Jets, Giants & Redskins don't play football in January anymore.

 

You Can't Make This Stuff Up!

 

 

 

 
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Posted: #2

"Melania arrived fashinably late for her serving of Broke hoe Puffs "

She has a net woth of 50m. 

 

 
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Posted: #3

Maybe she had Porn Flakes instead.

an_roll_laugh

 

 
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Posted: #4

That one is pretty funny.

 
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Posted: #5

Melania gets a bum rap.

R.I.P. #94 MARSHAWN KNEELAND - DC4L
 
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Posted: #6

Picked my sister up at Ft. Lauderdale Airport this morning & the lines to get through TSA looked like Chicago O'Hare or SFO.

This shutdown is going to get uglier this week.  

 
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Posted: #7

Quote Originally Posted by StumpTownStu:

Melania gets a bum rap.

I don't know about that.

T.I.'s video of her stripping in the WH represented Melania very nicely IMO.

 
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Posted: #8

Over the holidays Trump spoke at a local Narcissists Anonymous meeting. He greeted the group by saying...

"Before we get started, let's talk about me for awhile."

 

You Can't Make This Stuff Up!  

 
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Posted: #9

Why does Trump keep comparing people to dogs?

Dogs are loyal which can't be said of him.

 
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Posted: #10

The guy who wants to build a wall can't even assemble a freaking cabinet.

an_roll_laugh

 
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Posted: #11

When Trump was asked for an update on the wall, he didn't have anything concrete to say. 

 
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Posted: #12

Is this mic on? an_speak

 
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Posted: #13
Quote Originally Posted by Midnight1:

The guy who wants to build a wall can't even assemble a freaking cabinet.

an_roll_laugh

Unusual high 65% turnover rate of high ranking personnel in Trump administration according to Brookings institution.  Top picks either leave or don't want to work for Trump's gong show.  He has to hire second rate or unqualified people out of necessity.  Excess number of "acting" or temporary hires unconfirmed by senate.
 
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Posted: #14
Trump surrounds himself with liars or crooks.  For a corrupt president, blind loyalty is more important than character or competence.  Fact checking by Fox news host Wallace caught Sarah Sanders false claim that US border patrol stopped thousands of terrorists from mexico.  However no evidence supports this claim according to State department.

Foreign terrorists mainly enter US legally at airports and terrorist attacks in the US are mostly committed by american citizens.   Also most drugs enter US through legal ports of entry.  Studies show illegal immigrants commit less crimes than native born americans.  States with more illegal immigrants have lower crime rates.
 
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Posted: #15
Quote Originally Posted by thirdperson:

Trump surrounds himself with liars or crooks.  For a corrupt president, blind loyalty is more important than character or competence.  Fact checking by Fox news host Wallace caught Sarah Sanders false claim that US border patrol stopped thousands of terrorists from mexico.  However no evidence supports this claim according to State department.

Foreign terrorists mainly enter US legally at airports and terrorist attacks in the US are mostly committed by american citizens.   Also most drugs enter US through legal ports of entry.  Studies show illegal immigrants commit less crimes than native born americans.  States with more illegal immigrants have lower crime rates.

One thing that cannot be denied..our southern border is almost completely unsecured.. and the treat of terrorist on the southern border is real..No matter how much the Left insist on downplaying it..

Funny, how Fox News and their Fact checking is now a credible source..
 
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Posted: #16

Quote Originally Posted by SarasotaSlim:

Quote Originally Posted by thirdperson:

Trump surrounds himself with liars or crooks.  For a corrupt president, blind loyalty is more important than character or competence.  Fact checking by Fox news host Wallace caught Sarah Sanders false claim that US border patrol stopped thousands of terrorists from mexico.  However no evidence supports this claim according to State department. Foreign terrorists mainly enter US legally at airports and terrorist attacks in the US are mostly committed by american citizens.   Also most drugs enter US through legal ports of entry.  Studies show illegal immigrants commit less crimes than native born americans.  States with more illegal immigrants have lower crime rates.
One thing that cannot be denied..our southern border is almost completely unsecured.. and the treat of terrorist on the southern border is real..No matter how much the Left insist on downplaying it..Funny, how Fox News and their Fact checking is now a credible source..

The Trump administration has no credibility. Lies, lies and more lies. As far as FOX is concerned, they have dramatically hurt the country by repeating the lies which the Trump base ignorantly believes. This nightmare will be over soon.

 
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Posted: #17

Sarah Sanders .."I'd like to be remembered as being transparent and honest." 

You Can't Make This Stuff Up!

 

 
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Posted: #18

Ryan & McConnell had 2 years to give Trump a wall. Why didn't they?

Because it's a stupid farking idea.

Meanwhile Kim Jung Un is visiting China for the 4th time & Trump is going on TV to talk about a wall.

Stupid POS!

 
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Posted: #19

No one wants to join this Clown Show.

Former Senator John Kyl refused Trump's request to take over for General Mattis. Former General John Keane also refused to work for this POS.

Trump announces we are leaving Syria & Bolton says not yet.

Hello right hand. Hello left hand.

 
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Posted: #20

Today is the 4th anniversary of the Charlie Hebdo cartoonists massacre. 

Freedom of speech should never be taken for granted.

The press is not the enemy of the people.

 
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Posted: #21
Quote Originally Posted by Midnight1:

Ryan & McConnell had 2 years to give Trump a wall. Why didn't they?

Because it's a stupid farking idea.

Meanwhile Kim Jung Un is visiting China for the 4th time & Trump is going on TV to talk about a wall.

Stupid POS!


Ryan...Ryan ?  Would that be the same Paul Ryan who was Mitt Romney's running mate for the 2012 presidential election and the defender of the "deep state"?     That Ryan ?
 
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Posted: #22

Trump is offering a Pre-Pardon to anyone willing to join his administration.

This POS said that former Presidents told him they should have built a wall when they were in office.

Today Jimmy Carter was the last of the living presidents to confirm Trump lied again.

 

 
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Posted: #23

Unless struggling federal workers have a father that can give them 500 million, I don't think Trump can relate to them.

 

 
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Posted: #24

Mattis resigned 12/20

McGurk resigned 12/22

Sweeney gone 1/5

Zinni gone today 1/8 

Years of military experience & talent gone in less than 3 weeks.

The Best & Brightest are leaving at a record pace. 

 

 
 
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Posted: #25
Quote Originally Posted by SarasotaSlim:


One thing that cannot be denied..our southern border is almost completely unsecured..
Open border is a myth.  US spends billions of dollars annually on border security and immigration control according to homeland security department.  US southern border is among the most secure in the world with extensive barriers and thousands of patrol officers.
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