All Forums | General Discussion

You ever wonder if you're way off...

...

Participants:

Posts: 38

SteelCash

Captain

Joined: Oct, 2006

Posts: 5605

Posted: Mar. 27, 2013 - 1:57 AM ET #1

... when it comes to what people think of you? Your perception of what people think of you is a big part of who you are, or who you "think" you are. Sometimes I think I know what people think of me, and other times I wonder if I'm even in the same ballpark.

I went to a meeting today and there was a woman there that nobody knew. She made a few comments and seemed different. People were rolling their eyes, making comments under their breath. After she left I think the words nuts and crazy came up about 10 times. One guy suggested that she's single because she probably has standards that are too high. It amazed me how these people felt fine with insulting her now that she was no longer present and making assumptions about her after meeting her for a total of 10 minutes. Assumptions they had no business making. I wonder what she thinks about how other people view her. How would these other people feel if she heard a recording of their bash session and it made her cry? Or better yet, what if she ripped into them and them feel about two feet tall?

How interesting would it be to hear what your best friends say about you behind closed doors? And would you want to hear it if you could?

searchwarrant

Legend

Joined: May, 2003

Posts: 71024

Posted: Mar. 27, 2013 - 2:21 AM ET #2

Be your kind and decent self and ignore what other people think or say about you. Personally...... I think you're an fool.

J/k. carry on dude - nobody remotely cares at the end of any day.

Skipbone

Captain

Joined: Nov, 2009

Posts: 6368

Posted: Mar. 27, 2013 - 6:24 AM ET #3

Seriously, WGAF?

gold6185

Veteran

Joined: Oct, 2008

Posts: 1168

Posted: Mar. 27, 2013 - 7:47 AM ET #4

You forge your own path & people will think of you whatever they choose to. To be concerned with what other people are thinking of you is a total waste of time. Do your own thing.

SportsFan9698

Banned

Joined: May, 2010

Posts: 5575

Posted: Mar. 27, 2013 - 9:55 AM ET #5

"Perception is reality"

It took me most of my 45 years to truly understand the meaning of this. It is true. You can deny it all you wish, but perception always wins out in the end.

If you say to yourself that you don't care what people think, you are only fooling yourself.

HutchEmAll

Legend

Joined: Jan, 2004

Posts: 38704

Posted: Mar. 27, 2013 - 12:19 PM ET #6

Quote Originally Posted by SteelCash:

... when it comes to what people think of you? Your perception of what people think of you is a big part of who you are, or who you "think" you are. Sometimes I think I know what people think of me, and other times I wonder if I'm even in the same ballpark.

I went to a meeting today and there was a woman there that nobody knew. She made a few comments and seemed different. People were rolling their eyes, making comments under their breath. After she left I think the words nuts and crazy came up about 10 times. One guy suggested that she's single because she probably has standards that are too high. It amazed me how these people felt fine with insulting her now that she was no longer present and making assumptions about her after meeting her for a total of 10 minutes. Assumptions they had no business making. I wonder what she thinks about how other people view her. How would these other people feel if she heard a recording of their bash session and it made her cry? Or better yet, what if she ripped into them and them feel about two feet tall?

How interesting would it be to hear what your best friends say about you behind closed doors? And would you want to hear it if you could?

Think about it. If you're in a group, how often do you talk about other people you know who aren't there? ALL THE TIME. I try to avoid this stuff, but it goes on all the time. What do you think other people are doing when you're not around?

Too trivial for me to worry about it TOO much. I know who I am.

Don't care if others criticize me....I understand my warts.

That said, of course everyone likes to be liked.

THEMUGG

Legend

Joined: Oct, 2003

Posts: 38232

Posted: Mar. 27, 2013 - 12:37 PM ET #7

Same here.........I used to worry about it way more than was healthy. But after years go by it matters less & less........we all have gifts & shortcomings. That said, I do try to avoid the "gang up on" sessions as described by the OP.

I once heard someone say "What you think of me ain't my problem"............

rr207

Veteran

Joined: Nov, 2008

Posts: 3743

Posted: Mar. 27, 2013 - 1:54 PM ET #8

what do you guys think about this statement. bottom line is that we are all human beings, and believe it or not i think we think the same way, its just the way we want to interpret it. and this is all based on the cultural norms that you live in.

DoubleUp4Life

Banned

Joined: Nov, 2007

Posts: 66896

Posted: Mar. 27, 2013 - 4:03 PM ET #9

Quote Originally Posted by gold6185:

You forge your own path & people will think of you whatever they choose to. To be concerned with what other people are thinking of you is a total waste of time. Do your own thing.

Nail on head

BEST OF HEALTH, HAPPINESS,WEALTH, BLESSINGS and LUCK TO ALL !!

scalabrine

Banned

Joined: Sep, 2006

Posts: 28221

Posted: Mar. 27, 2013 - 5:47 PM ET #10

People bash others to boost their own ego and self-worth.

If you are confident and self-assured and have empathy, you'll stay quiet when someone is bashing another person. Or better, you'll tell them to lay off.

If not, insults will spew from your mouth like wood from a woodchipper.

The people in that room were putting a spotlight in themselves with regard to their level of self-esteem. It's pretty comical that the ones who are truly pathetic are the ones lobbing the insults.

This is the most evident characteristic of bullies in general except when you grow older, social norms disallow to say things like they said to her face so they wait for her to leave the room.

lennon65

All-Star

Joined: Jun, 2005

Posts: 15000

Posted: Mar. 27, 2013 - 6:20 PM ET #11

was it a narcotics anonymous or alcoholics anonymous meeting?

bookieassassin

All-Star

Joined: Jun, 2007

Posts: 10310

Posted: Mar. 27, 2013 - 9:05 PM ET #12

What SC is talking about....IMO

Is the difference between how you see yourself....and how others see you...............and specifically your AWARENESS of this difference
*NOT....."oh wow people talk about me I'm worried"

No one is immune to worrying about what others think....In fact...(true in most cases)...those that say they could care less!.. the loudest...are the same ones that worry the most....

When you're 20...you think everyone is watching and judging you...when you're 40...you don't care...when you're 60...you realize no one cared in the first place...

It is better to be feared - than to be loved.

Biscuiteater1

Legend

Joined: Jan, 2011

Posts: 33032

Posted: Mar. 27, 2013 - 9:30 PM ET #13

It does not matter

chvatalas

Veteran

Joined: Nov, 2010

Posts: 3177

Posted: Mar. 27, 2013 - 9:34 PM ET #14

Quote Originally Posted by scalabrine:

People bash others to boost their own ego and self-worth.

If you are confident and self-assured and have empathy, you'll stay quiet when someone is bashing another person. Or better, you'll tell them to lay off.

If not, insults will spew from your mouth like wood from a woodchipper.

The people in that room were putting a spotlight in themselves with regard to their level of self-esteem. It's pretty comical that the ones who are truly pathetic are the ones lobbing the insults.

This is the most evident characteristic of bullies in general except when you grow older, social norms disallow to say things like they said to her face so they wait for her to leave the room.

Prob first time I have agreed with you ever

TRAIN69

Legend

Joined: Oct, 2002

Posts: 55616

Posted: Mar. 27, 2013 - 9:53 PM ET #15

Quote Originally Posted by scalabrine:

People bash others to boost their own ego and self-worth.

If you are confident and self-assured and have empathy, you'll stay quiet when someone is bashing another person. Or better, you'll tell them to lay off.

If not, insults will spew from your mouth like wood from a woodchipper.

The people in that room were putting a spotlight in themselves with regard to their level of self-esteem. It's pretty comical that the ones who are truly pathetic are the ones lobbing the insults.

This is the most evident characteristic of bullies in general except when you grow older, social norms disallow to say things like they said to her face so they wait for her to leave the room.

What if the person really is an idiot and said/did stupid things? It makes you less of a person to comment on those things? I dont think I am trying to boost my self esteem when I respond to an ignorant comment....You should know what I mean by most of your threads.....

Kelly_Slater

Captain

Joined: Apr, 2009

Posts: 7621

Posted: Mar. 27, 2013 - 10:49 PM ET #16

Steel you are a cool

Let me know if you ever come to cali or hawaii so we can burn 1 and shoot the dirt

Kelly_Slater

Captain

Joined: Apr, 2009

Posts: 7621

Posted: Mar. 27, 2013 - 10:49 PM ET #17

> dude

SALTY

Veteran

Joined: Aug, 2007

Posts: 4800

Posted: Mar. 27, 2013 - 11:40 PM ET #18

Quote Originally Posted by scalabrine:

People bash others to boost their own ego and self-worth.

If you are confident and self-assured and have empathy, you'll stay quiet when someone is bashing another person. Or better, you'll tell them to lay off.

If not, insults will spew from your mouth like wood from a woodchipper.

The people in that room were putting a spotlight in themselves with regard to their level of self-esteem. It's pretty comical that the ones who are truly pathetic are the ones lobbing the insults.

This is the most evident characteristic of bullies in general except when you grow older, social norms disallow to say things like they said to her face so they wait for her to leave the room.

Dude, I was about to write up some sh'it on this but you nailed it on the head.

But only my explanation would have been a little more vulgar

I will stress these types are the first ones to say hi and act super fake friendly when the person is in the room.

I mind my own business and carry on with my own good time. Funny how that POS that can't quit focusing on what I am doing from afar is the one to for some reason tell people that actually know me that "Salty ain't garbage!"

If I had a nickel!

SALTY

Veteran

Joined: Aug, 2007

Posts: 4800

Posted: Mar. 27, 2013 - 11:53 PM ET #19

Quote Originally Posted by HutchEmAll:

Think about it. If you're in a group, how often do you talk about other people you know who aren't there? ALL THE TIME. I try to avoid this stuff, but it goes on all the time. What do you think other people are doing when you're not around?

Too trivial for me to worry about it TOO much. I know who I am.

Don't care if others criticize me....I understand my warts.

That said, of course everyone likes to be liked.

Myself personally......Never

I never say anything I would not share if they were there

Even in joking I will share with the one in the joke. Also if I have gotten pissed because some disrespectful POS did something terrible. I am tolerant, but I never act like Jekyll and Hyde because I don't want to look like a punk talking big but then acting like that POS is my BFF like punks do.

I currently am not looking forward to Derby Weekend coming up at Oaklawn. A dude that hates me when I am not around bashes me on the reg. Nobody listens though but I have been nothing but nice, even saved him from a big mofo from whooping his punk behind. He pushed my ex GF about 5 months ago that I will be meeting that weekend. This group never has checked him. I am probably gonna twist his arm and put him on the ground when I know for sure his denial of being a two-faced leech walks up and shakes my hand.

Funny how these low self esteem losers think telling ones who know and like me will not share the gossip his two faced punk a'ss said.

mattbrot

Captain

Joined: Jan, 2005

Posts: 6840

Posted: Mar. 28, 2013 - 12:04 AM ET #20

other people have said this already but...

this happens all the time. I personally try to make a point to not get involved and avoid the situation when it comes up. Who are any of us to judge someone else. Plus it is just bad karma.

Too many other things going on in life to worry about this "chick" sort of stuff.

hotdamn85

Veteran

Joined: Mar, 2011

Posts: 1427

Posted: Mar. 28, 2013 - 9:52 AM ET #21

steelcash, i think u were an artist in a past life.

try these two: having a rolex while working a low wage job. or nice 50k car.

having a college degree while working a car sales job.

the looks and belief u get will be off the charts. esp when u talk about college parties and other gibberish things to ppl who never attended college. they'll think u are lying to them or something

"When you're 20...you think everyone is watching and judging you...when you're 40...you don't care...when you're 60...you realize no one cared in the first place... "

stats1

Captain

Joined: Aug, 2009

Posts: 8153

Posted: Mar. 28, 2013 - 10:17 AM ET #22

do on to others as u would want them to do to u and don't gave a rats asss what others think then!!!!

hotdamn85

Veteran

Joined: Mar, 2011

Posts: 1427

Posted: Mar. 28, 2013 - 10:19 AM ET #23

Quote Originally Posted by stats1:

do on to others as u would want them to do to u and don't gave a rats asss what others think then!!!!

scalabrine

Banned

Joined: Sep, 2006

Posts: 28221

Posted: Mar. 28, 2013 - 10:59 AM ET #24

Quote Originally Posted by SALTY:

Dude, I was about to write up some sh'it on this but you nailed it on the head.

But only my explanation would have been a little more vulgar

I will stress these types are the first ones to say hi and act super fake friendly when the person is in the room.

If I had a nickel!

cave0707

Veteran

Joined: Oct, 2009

Posts: 1521

Posted: Mar. 28, 2013 - 11:05 AM ET #25

As a teenager or early 20's guy, I was more concerned about that. I'm almost 40, not so concerned about it anymore. I spend more time worrying about my parents health, or my future business, don't really have the energy to think about other people's perception of me.

All Forums | General Discussion

You ever wonder if you're way off...

Hot Forum Topics