married men only please

Even if you see zero validity in pledging yourself to one woman the rest of your life, aside from finding your soulmate, a woman you truly love and would die for, there are two indisputable realities you will come to terms with at an old enough age that will pretty much force you to walk down the isle:

Dying alone is #1. No matter how much beer, sports, gambling, smoking, bars, and variety of women are at your disposal on a daily basis, you will eventually find that the human condition is insatiable and loneliness will trump all of these. It's one thing to have friends, or 50 different women's numbers in your cellphone, and quite another to know that one woman, (and by likely consequence, her children) has entrusted the rest of her entire earthly existence in your hands. That is a feeling of gratification and self-fulfillment that cannot be duplicated in any other life endeavor.

#2 Social status. No matter what you do for a living, your friends, colleagues, peers, acquaintances and family members will, subtly at first, begin to regard you as a loner, homosexual, and/or someone incapable of maintaining a long-term relationship with the opposite gender because of your lack of good looks, personality, or ambition.

This will become like a corrosive acid being poured on your self-worth. Remember that marriage is the primary model in modern day society for pro-creation. That is why, every time you go to a family holiday party as a newlywed or within the first 5 years of marriage, people habitually ask the dreaded, "Soooo...when are you having kids?" As a male, you will begin to suspect they are actually questioning your virility and perhaps more maddeningly, your fertility. Perhaps they are on some subconscious level, or more likely, they simply want you to join the "married with children" fray, because now that your bachelor lifestyle is gone, the joys of being a newlywed must be conceded to the lifelong struggle (with the keyword STRUGGLE) of child rearing. Too much joy/happiness on YOUR part is DISMAY on their part as you both waddle over to the eggnog and/or cocktail shrimp tray. Conformity and uniformity MUST rule the day.

Remember that marriage is a social institution embedded within Judeo-Christian philosophy, which is the dominant faith(s) in the US. People firmly believe they are carrying out god's WILL when they are married (as though god is overly concerned with one of BILLIONS of humans throughout history to reenact 'The Hangover' i.e. getting hitched in a 24 hour vegas drive-thru with an inflatable blow-up and a chimpanzee serving as the default maid of honor and best man, respectably).

Remember this, no matter how many women you sleep with on a monthly basis, they all, and i do mean ALL, want access to the same thing....your status, wealth, and genes. This is not inherently evil but inherently HUMAN and is an undeniable urge which continues our existence and dominance on this earth. It is responsible for YOUR existence. Eventually, the loneliness, status, and of course, exclusive ownership and intimacy with a desired female will COMPEL you to buy the ring and walk the isle. Good day SIR!