I'm About to Have Sex for the first time... I have some questions

 Congratulations kid.  I feel like Robert DeNiro in Good Fellas. Uncle Monte is proud of you.  Feel free to ask for any advice.

  Next time try the chilli

bosh, you learn to eat that box good and she will be begging you for it. then olnce you get used to banging her you'll last longer. Hard to believe a guy rubbed 2 out and then only lasted a minute, if that's me, I'm going for about an hour.

Atta boy.  Way to go.

 

Next time get an 8 ball and do lines off her back while you bang her doggie style.  You'll be able to go for hours and she will want to marry. you

 

i am a little surprised you went down on her for 10 minutes and THEN moved in to make out with her

 

most chics would not do that

 

technically, she ate her own box

 

i doubt she got much out of it but hell practice makes perfect

 

hit it again tomororow!!!

oh and

 

 

Let us know when your ready to pursue a more advancd degree,  the turd tosser entrance exams can be a little more rigorous....thankfully Covers preparation is gladly available free of charge. 

way to go kid -this will make for a very happy holiday season ..

 

next time -smack her ass

Mr. Bosh, first of all, congratulations to you.  I, too, look forward to the day I lose my virginity.

 

Secondly, and this is the big one, listen to what I'm about to tell you.  If you take one thing from this thread, hone in on this advice right here:  do not EVER have sex with a girl, no matter how well you know her, and even if they tell you they're on the pill, UNLESS you are using a condom.  Do you hear me?  Always.  No exceptions.

 

Two minutes of gratification is not worth 18 years of child support.

Kid as I said, I'm happy for you but now I'm a little concerned.  It sounds like your Johnson slide in a little to easy.  I think this chick has been around the block more then the ice cream truck.  Lets get our next one with a few less miles on her.  Its not supposed to feel like we are stirring a bowel of soup down there.  When you were eating here out and you parted those roast beef curtains, did you see a tattoo that said,   THE ENTIRE COVERS FORUM WAS HERE.  By the way when you were down there did you notice another hole that was a little brown and looked like a balloon knot. That is strictly an exit ramp on some broads.  Stick your finger in there to see if the toll booth is open.  This shit is golden, I hope your writing it down. We will try and hit that hersey highway next time.  Your Pal,  Uncle Monte

The first time you have sex... there is no way you can go wrong with the TOBOGGAN.  Simply start fucking her from behind... pull her arms behind her back while you are doing this.... then ride her all the way down the stairs.  Girls love the aggressiveness of this maneuver.  GL

Oh dude... I totally wished I had been checking the forum on my week off. I missed a classic.

 

BTW, my first time, I took forever to go and I actually felt pretty sore. I think I freaked/stressed myself over it too much and that's why. But still, here's to you kid.

 

 

This thread is an instant classic........amazing! 

I'll be watching this system closely

woop: LOL to the max

 

I will tell my girl tonight - free toboggan rides tonight!!!!!!!

 

anyone else like Bob & Tom

 

 

Congrats, and listen to Bob & Tom

Monte is approaching Hutchemall's status as a sage in matters such as these...

lmao