,,,with a giant johnson that anoints the breastesses with a self made special level cream ,,,,
I don’t know what’s faster , a Tesla strapped to the back of a rocket where the driver took an espresso enema before he entered into the cockpit , or the zapping of monte every time he makes a new alias …..
you talkin’ about making your two girlfriends get on the scale like Robert Deniro’s character did to the showgirls in Casino ? To see if they didn’t go over on the weight limit or something ? You can go with the lighter one , and get rid of the other one , but personally a fat ass and a nice personality means a lot in a relationship 
these facts have never been questioned . But what am I supposed to do ? Picket outside of Covers headquarters in Nova Scotia ? It’s cold out there , and my one pair of long John’s has a big rip in ‘em from the last time Keisha came over . She’s a fox but she’s a nut . She went right for my draws even before the hot pocket I was microwaving for her was ready
I mean I could double sweatpants it but now we’d be getting crazy
now that’s a good strategy
They’ll never see it , but more importantly , they’ll never hear it comin’
Hey yo Abe Vigoda had a real man’s face , like a catcher’s mitt that decided to come to life so that I could chew tobacco with the boys and impregnate a girl from the bad side of town ….
you don’t see faces with that kind of character anymore
His scowl alone could make a grown man’s urethra invert till it turned into a clitoris , with the balls transforming into some ovaries , and then if he opened his trap and yapped at you , by golly , holy shit , you’d already be 3 months pregnant and find yourself in the passenger seat of an old school Cadillac that was the size of small condominium with him driving you to your first baby doctor appointment
so you’re telling me that you’re jacked to the max ? and that you wear an elastic blue bodysuit on the sidelines that makes you look like a steroided up version of a character from the movie Avatar ? all while sporting a nose that is bigger and more bulbous than Nikola Jokic’s ? And that gets redder than it too ? And for that matter gets so red that it could help lead and guide Santa in the delivery of gifts to nice children all around the globe ?
hey yo , it IS a scene man
I bet that when it is all said and done , somewhere along the way in this life your autograph will be worth 59.95 to someone
you’re larger than that Steven Segal
On the hush Monte clips off his toenails and feeds that fungi to his players , like those little birdlings get fed by their mothers , so technically speaking his players are doping , because them clippings got so much testosterone in them that in laboratory tests mice grew a third ball
What do we have to do ? Wait till Ted the number one sales guy at the carpet company dies ? so that you can finally get a computer that’s a newer model that doesn’t double post more than Patrick Ewing passing it out to John Starks then receiving a pass back again ?
how many carpets you gotta sell to get off of that Vic-20 or Commodore 64 ? 10 ? Well let me put the motherfuckin’ order in with you right now then ……
“ Look Ma ! Top of the World ! “
That’s what I want you to say when your new prized possession single posting computer arrives via Amazon delivery .
but don’t say it if Ted kicks the bucket and they let you have his 3 square foot bigger cubicle “ office “ with that high technology computer cuz that would be crass .
but do look through his drawers because I heard that fat bastard was on the Vicodin .
go ravens !
Hugh Jorgan composing that beautiful letter to the Covers Help Forum that helped you to come back and get reinstated shall go down in the annals of history as one of the greatest examples of benevolence and healing that was administered from one person to another just behind that one time Jesus helped that leper
and did I mention go ravens ?
I like Lamar , he plays with a chip on his shoulder , while you just lay back on your sofa that sits on top of a beautiful but overpriced carpet with chocolate chip cookie crumbs on your lap . There’s a difference
Even Brooklyncapper usually only makes single posts , although to be totally transparent , more often than not he does sit there nervously for hours going through the content of what he typed , changing it , deleting it , getting angry about that it sucks till he’s forced to masturbate into his roommate’s gym sock in order to feel better ……
so that’s not necessarily trumping you
oh I used the word trump . Can’t wait for somebody to jump in and get more triggered than Dirty Harry on a bad day …..
No carpet in this house....
Yo you probably got them nice hardwood floors in your house like them Kardashians do though then huh ? I seen their show , I know what the lap of luxury consists of .
With how big Khloe was back in the day when she was hittin’ over 2 bucks on the scale Bruce couldn’t afford to have them carpets though ya dig ?
and it’s not because he didn’t get his fair share of the residuals off of appearing on all them Wheaties boxes that made a generation of young boys want to grow up to be just like him either .
He had the money . Trust me . Dude had life changing money .
Nah , instead the real reason he chose “ the wood over the carpet “ is because with her stomping around with those god damn giant feet of hers on the daily , it was just that there were too many strong presses and imprints being made into the ground ……
and that destroyed the aesthetic beauty of the fiber’s original factory patterns ……
old anvil foot with the painted toenails would really mark things up making the ground that shook under her feet resemble the pock marked face of an unfortunate teenager suffering from the prolonged ramifications of a serious acne problem .
kinda like somebody taking a long walk over a pristine winter mountain landscape in snow shoes .
Or maybe it’s because it still bothers old Bruce that he thinks he saw Bigfoot tracks that one time he tried out hunting with the boys when Arsenio Hall invited him out into the wilderness to go camouflage himself and hide in the brush till something that really struck his fancy made it’s presence known …..
so that then , and only them , could ‘ol Brucie jump out to reveal himself , so as to show whatever beast he was chasing what his true nature really was .
So listen to me here Big Red the Ravens fan . I know that you sell flooring , and I just know that you set aside the best quality dead fallen trees for yourself ok ? So if you don’t have carpeting you have hardwood floors . And they are a thing of majesty and special awe . That I am sure of .
I bet you slide across that shit in your underwear and “ unbuttoned “ button up shirt with your Oakley’s on your face like a pre-Scientology Tom Cruise huh ?
after any Big Ravens win at least is my guess . don’t you ?
that’s some risky business.
Because you only do that when the wifey is at Costco buying you that Metamucil cuz you wouldn’t dare try that shit if she were home
amirite ?
Hahahahaha ! I love this guy !
” like to squint “
yo straight up , I laughed so loud , out loud , a minute or two ago , that a lady with a double chin that heard me release that great bellow , that was so violently outlandish that the birds that were on top of the power lines across the street got scared for their lives , and so startled , that they took off into flight ,
while that woman that I previously spoke about’s upper neck/bottom jaw area is still jiggling around ,
because she turned that giant drumstick that’s sitting on top of her clavicles so fast that I’m sure that she sustained an injury similar to a nascar driver getting whiplash during a race when they dangerously crash into the wall during turn number 3 ……
And hey yo , your future’s so bright you ought to wear shades 
I’ll get back to you I’m doing a crossword puzzle ….
Damn it I can finally post again...
This thread 
Spock...your contributions to such a meaningless topic is your greatest >>>feet<<<
And don't get me started on the flooring with the Jacksonville crew....the biggest little cock...tail my assssssterik
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