Show Me Exactly What Was Violated

My man Martin Luther King said this :

” Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter . “

So I say this because I want to keep living :

Boy once I got off of that guy’s pristine and well manicured lawn and made my way down the loud and noisy but truthful Freedom of Speech Boulevard to say any , and all , of the spicy things that my sexy and curvy and hot to trot little gorgeous heart desires , this thread really took off ……

and not like a lazy government worker does on the day after the Super Bowl because they’re hungover ……

when they’re stuck in that back and forth game of frantic telephone calls being made to and from their lawyer , as the two are trying to drum up some bullshit reasoning for the domestic violence charges that his wife filed against him after he got made because he came up one number short in the block pool his buddy runs for 5 dollars …..

Which triggered his primal instincts of insecurity , thus releasing endorphins that initiated an impulsive , not thinking clearly , and severely deranged response , which led that under the influence piece of shit into doing something he really shouldn’t have done 

Damn .

This has now become like “ A Very Special Episode of Blossom “ but in Covers Penalty Box thread form , where spock warns the brash and overexcited gentlemen that gamble away their scratched together earnings on “ The Big Game ! “ which is essentially “ just another game so chill the fuck out and wager within your means “ to not fall into the traps that gambling can so easily have you fall into .

Whew . That Mayim Bialik shoulda been paid more because this philanthropy shit is taxing . What a hot piece of ass she was . God damn I’ve had wet dreams about that big bogus and bulbous nose of hers , and they were delightful each and every time 

the pyramids you say ? Hmmmm , they’re older than is specified in my opinion . That water erosion theory sold me on that . My best hypothesis revolves around the notion that The Egyptians understood or developed some form of technology through the use of the mind’s unlimited powers that we unfortunately are too timid or afraid to say out loud is even possible .

H0m0 Erectus

The Hoops you got to jump to tell a Joke.

"A very special episode of Blossom"

@spockgato

 Mayim?? Jenna Von Oy. 

Yo you just know that at some point she bent down and unzippered Joey’s denim and went ham sandwich on his peter making him say Whoa ! while he sweated in that leather jacket of his …..

that’s a fucking lock . Bank it . I wouldn’t even be surprised if she somehow got double teamed by Zack Morris and A.C . Slater while that geek Screech yanked it in the corner while high on quaaludes .

no doubt . Mr. Belding was probably watching through the window the whole time too that fucking serpent , deciding that everything looked a little too busy in there , and he didn’t want to put his OCD to the test , so he’d probably be better off just 2 way paging Lark Voorhees with that fat ass of hers .

My God Hollywood must have been a crazy time during that period . Everybody laying nude across Harvey Weinstein’s desk , River Phoenix injecting straight venom into any available pore on his body , people just straight cummming in Balky Bartokomous’ butt in exchange for a simple Marlboro Red cigarette , good God man , it was probably like a modern day Caligula .

but that Jena von Oy vey !

she could get it !

Thick bro . No Thicc bro . She gets the extra “ c “ daddy , yup , that’s what imma give her . For starters . If you know what I’m sayin’ .

But any available mop bucket dirty or clean is going right on top of that fucking head before any interfacing is going on between my modem scrotum and her hardbody that I would softly wear out papi .

Yeesh . Talk about a ButterFace . God damn . I’d rather kiss Orville Redenbacher’s old wrinkly taint and dingleberry trap . His popcorn has less butter than her face . Fuck bro I’d rather grope mister Peanut in a dark alley while paparazzi take pictures and put me in the tabloids destroying my reputation in the process instead of tongue wrestling that god damn clown from “ It “ looking Jenna von oy with her gargoyle features and Linda Blair Exorcist smile .

excuse me I gotta go to church and take confession cuz I’m not altogether sure if what I typed is a sin or not . BRB .

update yo : the priest said I’m gizziddy good on everything I typed out , cuz I showed it to him on my phone via that little hole in the confessional booth that’s kinda cobwebbed and spiderwebbed up so that the sinning side doesn’t feel so ashamed or so much anxiety about what they just upchucked about their evil transgressions to the holy man that took an oath .

my church is a little short on funds so they never fixed the little rip in that window . In fact we’ve even had some problems where parishioners are “ taking “ from the little woven baskets they pass around during collection time instead of “ giving “ to them . It’s fucked up to say they least . But that’s another story altogether .

anyway , Father Dennis had a real hoot reading what I wrote . Laughed his ass off , and a little dribble of snot even fell into his mustache and sat there like an old man waiting on a bench for a bus that never comes , cuz I didn’t have the heart to tell him about it , cuz I wasn’t sure if making him embarrassed was a sin or not , you know him being the representation of Jesus here on Earth and all .

not surprising in the least he is a big Full House fan and rambled on and on about it for what seemed like forever , and I was just dying to get the fuck out of there because I had to take a shit , but also cuz I wanted to see if my Kings/ Warriors same game parlay came through .

weirdly enough he preferred Kimmy over The Cameron sister but said Topenga from that other show was and I’m quoting here “ the cat’s meow “ …..

so naturally I as “ spockgato “ agreed and let off a little bellow .

then he just looked at me funny so I said I had to go because my bunions started to hurt .

@spockgato

 Is that English what you are writing? 

Hmmmmm . I might have to do some surgery on you , but there’s so little to work with , but ironically , so much to work on , it’s quite the conundrum 

pig latin...

@spockgato

 I already sliced and diced you with verses so... do your best

your Hispanic girlfriend has nothing to do with this 

this is between me , God , and this soon to be excommunicated from the Church “ Fake-ist “ here …..

@spockgato

 Ok heathen  I hope it's not the same God Mr 2 Corinthians talks about 

This Lucilia Cuprina (let's call her Lucille for short) is not worth your time 

@packersbackers

 Coming from the likes you if you that's a compliment .  Takes one to no one

Some would argue that this guy probably wasn’t worth the 44 seconds of time that it took to conceive him in the back of that Chevy Nova on that cold autumn night back in ‘73 

but not me 

you see pack , I’m an against the grain kind of guy , especially when the situation dictates such actions , calm down Brooklyn , I know that you heard “ dictates “ and got excited thinking that i said some variation of “ dick takes “ or you got dyslexic hearing and heard “ takes dick “ or even worse your little ears got all sonar and imagined that it said “ tastes dick “ or “ I had to taser him cuz he wanted to taste my dick “ …..

but now I’m just going off on a tangent about other things that don’t classify my existence , but I’m doing it for humor , or so I’m attempting , but alas that is neither here nor there , like the idea of any kind of honor ever finding you ….

unless …..

I do what I always do , and that’s help people , and more specifically you , because your cries for help do not go unnoticed my wayward chum .

I got you broski . Follow my lead . I’ll take you to the promised land . But first I need to know some things about you so that I can better tailor the therapy that I’m going to give you to meet your specific need and requirements …..so a couple of questions ……

first ….. has any one of your fingers ever entered a vagina ? And your conception and growth within the womb , while a cunning and loophole-esque reply is certainly applaudable , it will not suffice , thus it will be deemed an unsuitable  answer …….

Are you related to Juan Epstein?

Why are you in this thread?

@spockgato

Leave no maggot behind? You are a better man than me.

Charitable Saint Spock 

yo I’ve really been putting a lot of work in but it’s difficult to rally the troops . It feels like insurmountable odds . But then I think about how in just 2 short years you turned your son’s football team from the laughingstock of the league into god damn champions . And that momentum will carry them forward , into doing great things , because you instilled within them a work ethic that simply can not be outmatched .

I envy those kids . I wish some of my coaches during my youth more closely resembled you . And I’m not just talking about that strong chin that you sport on your jawline or that massive upper chest strength that while impressive , draws much too much unnecessary attention to your long National Geographic and unorthodox nipples . Fuck man . I can’t have the nitrates homie . Get them pepperonis outta my vision .

No seriously you’re really building something out there with them kids that they will bring with them into the future . The self esteem , the drive , the ambition to achieve , not to mention all the collateral pusssy fall out that comes with being a god damn super freak champion that dominates on the athletic field . Stay up dogg . I gots you 

@malachibros

Do the Sweathogs favor Taco Bell or Chipotle?

He missed us...

@undermysac

 Maybe he needs some attention. He has some classic lines when he thinks he's being clever.

"Is that English what you are writing?"  ("what" you are writing)

"Takes one to no one" (to "no" one)

just killed like 11 minutes at work. gracias spock.

How come every time I read the title to this thread I have the eerie feeling that maybe that exact line has been said before at a police precinct by a crass officer or detective that didn’t have the proper training to conduct those kinds of sensitive subject interviews with the alleged victims ?

And I know that I’m fly , but I don’t wanna be that fly , and on that wall , ya know what I’m sayin’ ?

cringe city