Alright fellas - not sure if I did the right thing, but here's how it went
down:
I went to his place after work yesterday. First of all, his apt was a mess
(totally out of character). He also physically looked like shit - he looked like
he hadn't showered or shaved in a week. I told him it was depressing me to look
at him like this and to get in the shower, I'm gonna take him out to dinner.
At dinner we talked about a lot of stuff. It was a fairly emotional
conversation. I knew things were bad in his own head, but I think I
underestimated how depressed he actually is. He told me his doc had prescribed
Xanax and that he was popping em regularly to keep his anxiety in check. He
talked about how hard job hunting has been. He said he feels like the economy
just keeps kicking him while he's down, etc etc. The 1st half of our
conversation was literally a pity party - but he needed to vent and I listened.
After he got it all out, I told him I wanted to help him...but unless a job
falls in his lap tomorrow, he's gonna be right back here in 3 months. I
suggested we work on a way to cut his expenses. I said the 1st thing we should
focus on is that $2500 rent check. I told him I thought he should consider
renting a room in a house or a studio and he should not even look at places over
$1500. He resisted at first, but eventually agreed. I made him promise me he was
gonna give his landlord 30 days and we agreed that Feb 1 would be a realistic
move date.
We talked about the cost of moving and he reminded me that he is actually
going to get a $4000 deposit back from his landlord....so this should be plenty
to get him into his new place. I said I'd help with any additional costs or
front the money until the check arrives.
Someone in this thread suggested he call his creditors and get payments
deferred due to hardship. I asked him to look into this as well and he said he
would do that today (pending)
If we could get his rent down to $1500 (or less), his CC payments deferred,
that's a min savings of $1500 a month. I was thinking about the car next, but didn't
push it. He seemed overwhelmed with what was already on his plate. I'll raise this expense later.
What I did push is his job/salary expectations. He admitted that he wasn't
considering anything paying less than $65,000-$70,000. I told him he ought to
lower those standards and accept anything he can get. He agreed and said he would expand his search. Also, over the years, we have become friendly with a guy that owns a couple of bars in SF. I suggested he call him and see if he needs any help working the door, behind the bar, whatever. A couple of years ago this guy gave another friend of ours a job and paid him $15 an hr under the table. He promised me he was going to explore this.
Before I left, I asked him about now through January. He still needed a
loan to get him by. I cut him a check for $5000 and told him I'd put this on his
tab. I cut the check from my money market account. I requested a payout from my
book to replace the 5Gs. In the meantime, I hope the wife doesn't check the
balance....she rarely looks at this account, so I'm not too worried. If she does, I'll have to come clean.
So, that's where things stand as of now. In the meantime, I left 5K in my
offshore account and plan to have a little fun with it. I like Wyoming tomorrow
and the Raiders on Sunday!
I'm nervous that things won't go as planned (maybe he doesn't find the
right place and/or continues to struggle with the job market). But, these things are out of my control.
I'm sure many of you won't respect that I gave him the 5Gs. But, he's been a really close friend for 23 year - I couldn't turn my back on him.
I'll let you guys know if I end up regretting this decision.
Appreciate everyone that stopped in to offer advice....it was really helpful to hear other perspectives.
Duuuude.
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