Life is a mother guy

Now that I am getting my life back it's really hard to concentrate on the important things in my life because I am constantly thinking about how I could have changed my life to be in a better place now. Each day feels like an entire week. I'm not motivated to do anything which is horrible because many people who meet me for the first time love speaking to me and tell me they believe I am going to go far.

Another problem is I meet women and get their numbers, but I don't have the time or motivation to persue them. I just constantly think about my ex gf. I will never find anyone better than her. I almost wish she did something to me so I could just move on, but she did absolutely nothing wrong. She did everything right to the extreme, so all my memories are great memories of her. Everyone who knows us knows how great and strong this women is. It took me so much work to even be with her in the first place. Ive never had problems with women and I always emotionally detatch and have no problem moving on. But this isnt like a girl, this is my family. I am at a point where its like should I put myself through this everyday or should I just cut all ties as much as possible and just move on. Since Ive made so many bad decisions its hard for me to decide on which one is the correct one moving forward. The other day she asked me babe are you ready to come home then like 5 hours later she said we should move on not speak to eachother and not go to lunch. After a while she cant sleep and tells me to come over. We are about to fu.ck and then the baby wakes up because I kicked the Ipad off the bed and it shook the house. lol, moosed. Then the next day at lunch she is crying saying she can't do this anymore and the rest of the shi.t. Its been a week and we have been on minimal speaking terms...goodmorning have a good day, good night hope you had a good day. I'm getting extreme reactions.