CD Newsletter Week 4

Tennessee Titans -1 @ Miamai Dolphins   O/U 36.5

Lol…here it comes. Toilet bowl 2024 comes early to all of us. Only thing we can hope for here is hurricane force winds and a torrential downpour and hopes that an actual dolphin finds itself on the field. This game may be less entertaining than watching two turds battle it out to see who gets flushed first. Let’s see what we got…

No Tua, Thompson still bitch slapped and questionable and Huntley is being considered…WTF else can go wrong….Oh yeah, Mostert is questionable with a chest injury. WR Malik Washington is most likely out as well. Fins also have O line troubles with injuries too. On defense they have David Long, Kendall Fuller and Storm Duck all questionable. So who will be suiting for the fins, Flipper. They will need him to come out of retirement and somehow do some dolphin tricks to get a dubya here. I mean, to say this team is a dumpster fire and is in disarray is an understatement. They may be all concussed at this point, including the coach. When your best player on the field is your kicker, you have issues. Jason Sanders may save them this week with 4 field goals.

Tennessee oh Tennessee, where did thy Tennessee go….Welp, you floundered big time you drunken Nashville fucks…the only miracle happening in this city now is if Will Levis doesn’t throw an inexcusable INT or fumble trying to do something he thinks is spectacular, which most find ordinary. Titans just lost to a love-less Packers team, although I am high on Malik Willis so not sure this is much of a surprise, but nonetheless they Titties, I mean Titans, are winless…Let me say that again, the Titans are winless…kind of sounds normal now. Bright spot for the Titans, not releasing Henry may have helped, but Pollard, even though he lead the offense in rushing last week with 6 carries for 14 yards. Say what? 14 yards from your premiere back…that has to change or they will be laughed out of Miami. Hopkins had 73 yards on 6 catches. Levis was 26/34 for 260 yards, 2 TD and 2 picks. He had a QB rating of 92.8.

The Titans have turned the ball over 8 times, with 5 of those by interception and 3 fumbles lost. They are averaging just a tad over 100 yards ppg rushing, which puts them at 20 in the league and they are holding the opposition to 16 ppg. They are ranked 3 in the league in passing defense and are allowing 57.7% completion percentage. Their D has given up 3 passing TD’s and 2 by ground. They are ranked 5 in yards allowed, however they are ranked a dismal 24 in the league when it comes to opponents scoring.

The fins are averaging 6.5 points ppg since Tua’s concussion and their defense has allowed 27.5 ppg. Miami is ranked 16 in average yards ppg. Get this, the fins are ranked 4 in penalties and have racked up 27 thus far. Just killing their team. Defense is ranked 11 in passing and the biggest number of them all, the fishy poos are ranked dead last in the league in scoring at 11 ppg.

The Dolphins are reeling and I don’t know if it changes this week. As much as Will Levis is disastrous sometimes, he still has fairly decent offensive output. He just hurts his team with his poor decision making. Of the two poorest teams in the league right now, I give the edge to Tennessee because they will at least score. How will the fins score?  

ur writing is better than Tiggers....

@bigred84

 It's not a write off (pun not intended).

Seattle Seahawks @ Detroit Lions -3.5   O/U 46.5

Well, at least we will have one exciting game on Monday given that the other game will be a shitfest no matter who wins, or will we…I’m just sorry someone has to win between Tennessee and Miami, but this game at least has meaning and potential. Oh, and did anyone catch my comments about having two Monday night games on at the same time is stupid in week 3’s thread? Of course you didn’t because no one is paying attention yams when you have potatoes on the table. For those that missed it because you are a troll according Mucci, (there you go Mucci, you finally made it into a meaningful discussion about sports n shit so good for you) I said it was stupid. Yeah, I said it. My vernacular is stoopendously stupid. However, not so fast as Lee Corso says, this Monday will be the exception because if you find yourself watching the 2024 turd bowl in Miami between the Ttitans and Dolphins, then I am sorry…you may be pathetic or you may be aquaman. Either way turn the channel because this game should be a hoot….

Not sure about everyone else, but I am little surprised at the lack of offensive output by the Lions thus far. I was expecting them to come out this year and light it up, but it could be that I have high expectations this year for this club. I though they were the better team last year when they lost to the 49ers in the Conference Championship. So, I thought this year they would come out and make a statement right away. I just have not got that impression so far. Sure, they are 2-1 but they lost to the jolly green Giants, eeked out a win versus KC and only prospered by a TD over the Steelers. Highest output has been 24 points. I expect to see that change this week, but I also expected it 3 weeks ago and I’m still waiting Detroit…

The only real issue this week, as far as personnel wise, is Sam Laporta. He is currently questionable with an ankle injury. I am fairly certain that he suits up and plays, but I was also certain that BR would’ve have been reinstated by now so I am currently winless in that regard. They will need LaPorta in this game, but necessarily to win, but to post a threat in the middle of the field if the WR’s are covered. You can also not underestimate the blocking that LaPorta provides as well. This helps with pass protection and the running game and I say that because C Frank Ragnow is listed as questionable with a pectoral strain. Not sure why his titties are hurting, but I he went out last game if I recall and did not return. They will need him. If both these guys suit up then lights out Seattle. It may be that anyway without them, but this will boost their chances.

I like “Chardonay” Charbonnet for the Seahawks. Solid RB. Of course, what’s not to be dreamy about Metcalf. Guy is as stud and is welcome at my birthday party anytime. I am seeing Lockett as no status, but is listed with a thigh injury. Not sure if this is some Kenny Rogers chicken thigh shit or if there is some major deal there because everyone knows the juiciest piece of chicken is the thigh. I’m fairly certain this is just a rouse and that nothing will keep him out of this contest. The Hawks will need all hands on deck if they expect to keep this close. The Hawks have 3 Td’s by air and 5 by way if the ground this year. They have 4 turnovers, 3 INT”s and 1 fumble. They rank 23 in the run game and are averaging 24.3 ppg. They are ranked 4 in scoring allowed. The most interesting stat line is, the Hawks are ranked 1 in yards conceded through the air and are giving up a completion percentage of 60.4%. Overall yards conceded they rank 2nd.

Lions are ranked 16 in the league for points scored. They are ranked 7 in the league in passing and an overall offensive ranking of 4. Lions are ranked 16 in the league in penalties.

I look for the Lions to have a coming out party here. They may put up a 50 burger on the Hawks defense this week. The Hawks are fortunate that they are 3-0 and can give a game like this away, but I see no statistical edges for them in this week. Just the naked eye test tells me there are mismatches all over the field here and combine that with the Hawks ready to receive a loss and Detroit’s lack of scoring, at least in my opinion as noted above, this will be an offensive show as they lay claim to overtaking Kurt Warner’s Rams as the greatest show on turf, at least this week. Lay the number and kick your feet up…  

Ok gentlemen, and the one lady (you know who you are), week 4 newsletter has been paid in full and is no longer on layaway...

@lbcake

 You cheeky bastard, it's a double entendre though, eh?

You mofos have turned this into a dick measuring contest, previews wise, so a regression to the means is needed, bigred is doing week 5.

@ABooksNightmare

Great stuff!

@ABooksNightmare

 Nice work, you had me crackin up throughout. 

I'd have to disagree with you about your read of the Philly and Tampa line.

That +2.5 on Tampa isn't the bait for the public, it's the short road fav line of -2.5 on the Eagles. It has to be.

Consider that the Eagles just beat a Saints team that most(if not everyone) thought was all world, in New Orleans to boot. And that the Bucs just lost to a shitty Broncos team with Bo Nix.

I can assure you that the public won't be on Tampa. No way, no how.

The tough and only play in this game is the Bucs +2.5 imo.

I formed an opinion now, but it is early to do so and I really need to let the week play out, but nonetheless those were my initial thoughts early on...it may change later in the week depending on what happens with these questionable players.

This is classic!

@ABooksNightmare

Great job  

Truly appreciate the effort 

Way too good for these mouthbreathers.  

@Hugh_Jorgan

@BWS77

Browns awful O-Line now with major injury problems.  Wyatt Teller on IR and Wills status unknown.  Practice squad players coming up and Watson said in interview "I ain't running"

Edit:  Myles Garrett status unknown also, both feet are in need of off-season surgery which begs the question as to why he didn't do it this past season?

Great Job ABN 

Too bad Herbert isn’t playing, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Bolts cover the spread. 

@ABooksNightmare

 Nice work 

@Cyrax

@trainwreck66

I just saw this stat: Watson is 17-37 for 187 yards with 0 TD's, 1 INT and 10 sacks when he is blitzed

This is astonishing....

Can anyone say game plan credentials for how to beat Watson, other than in court that is....you hurry him and his decision making is horrible...I wonder if that trickles over into his sex life too and why these women are so pissed off because he prematurely has sacked fellatio...

Not all mods ….

We are still waiting on djbrow to receive his signed Fran Tarkenton jock strap. Once he gets it we fully expect your plea for clemency to be acknowledged 

Here are some more tidbits

Barkley

NFL rushing leader with 351 yards on 5.6 yards per carry

9 explosive runs of 10+ yards ties him for 1st amongst the league

11th among qualified RB's in yards after contact and 4th in yard before contact and 7th in avoided tackles

Buffalo

Is ranked 1st in average time to pressure QB's at 1.5 seconds

Pittsburgh

Was 1st in this area in 2023 at 2.1 seconds

That is a drastic difference...I talked a bit about how important even a half second could be to a QB in a couple of games this week...this cannot be underestimated when you look at pressuring QB's and how they perform...just look at Watson above when hurried...hurries to QB's does not get a lot of focus because sacks are trendy, but hurries are critical....thee guys are human, and so those split decisions are critical...just ask Joe Thiesman's leg