I was open about everything I did and continued to do it despite my spouse agreeing or not. I dont see why I cannot have friends of the opposite sex. I didn't agree that on their view that its cheating, hence why I continued to do it. Am I to blame? So was the answer not to have friends of the opposite sex? To drop them all? That sounds kind of harsh if you ask me. It wasnt like I was on a dating website looking for someone or even having a romantic fling with a person. I think the positive thing I have taken from this entire experience is that of a lesson learned. In the future, to be with someone who is more understanding and willing to talk it out if problems arise. Running from your problems doesnt solve anything. If anything, it creates more problems usually.
I was open about everything I did and continued to do it despite my spouse agreeing or not. I dont see why I cannot have friends of the opposite sex. I didn't agree that on their view that its cheating, hence why I continued to do it. Am I to blame? So was the answer not to have friends of the opposite sex? To drop them all? That sounds kind of harsh if you ask me. It wasnt like I was on a dating website looking for someone or even having a romantic fling with a person. I think the positive thing I have taken from this entire experience is that of a lesson learned. In the future, to be with someone who is more understanding and willing to talk it out if problems arise. Running from your problems doesnt solve anything. If anything, it creates more problems usually.
I was open about everything I did and continued to do it despite my spouse agreeing or not. I dont see why I cannot have friends of the opposite sex. I didn't agree that on their view that its cheating, hence why I continued to do it. Am I to blame? So was the answer not to have friends of the opposite sex? To drop them all? That sounds kind of harsh if you ask me. It wasnt like I was on a dating website looking for someone or even having a romantic fling with a person. I think the positive thing I have taken from this entire experience is that of a lesson learned. In the future, to be with someone who is more understanding and willing to talk it out if problems arise. Running from your problems doesnt solve anything. If anything, it creates more problems usually.
you couldn't stop talking to a friend to save your marriage and for your kid/s?
I was open about everything I did and continued to do it despite my spouse agreeing or not. I dont see why I cannot have friends of the opposite sex. I didn't agree that on their view that its cheating, hence why I continued to do it. Am I to blame? So was the answer not to have friends of the opposite sex? To drop them all? That sounds kind of harsh if you ask me. It wasnt like I was on a dating website looking for someone or even having a romantic fling with a person. I think the positive thing I have taken from this entire experience is that of a lesson learned. In the future, to be with someone who is more understanding and willing to talk it out if problems arise. Running from your problems doesnt solve anything. If anything, it creates more problems usually.
you couldn't stop talking to a friend to save your marriage and for your kid/s?
you couldn't stop talking to a friend to save your marriage and for your kid/s?
it looks like you're the asshole.
So basically no having friends if married? Thats a sad marriage and not one I want to be a part of. You should have a life outside the marriage. Its hard to go through life and not have any friends. If having friends (that I am not having sex with) during marriage makes me an asshole, so be it. IMO- there should be trust in a relationship. Its unhealthy to not have an outside social circle. Friends come in all genders, not always your same gender. Doesnt mean your banging all your friends because they are of the opposite sex. Im going to have to disagree on your previous comment. Having friends doesnt mean I dont care about my spouse or kids. It means I need to be married to someone who can be more understanding about the importance of friends in a relationship. The spouse who cant handle friends obviously has major insecurity issues. I wouldnt say I am entirely right here, and Im not saying the spouse is entirely right either. Im sure there could be a compromise to this issue that wouldnt have resulted in a divorce.
you couldn't stop talking to a friend to save your marriage and for your kid/s?
it looks like you're the asshole.
So basically no having friends if married? Thats a sad marriage and not one I want to be a part of. You should have a life outside the marriage. Its hard to go through life and not have any friends. If having friends (that I am not having sex with) during marriage makes me an asshole, so be it. IMO- there should be trust in a relationship. Its unhealthy to not have an outside social circle. Friends come in all genders, not always your same gender. Doesnt mean your banging all your friends because they are of the opposite sex. Im going to have to disagree on your previous comment. Having friends doesnt mean I dont care about my spouse or kids. It means I need to be married to someone who can be more understanding about the importance of friends in a relationship. The spouse who cant handle friends obviously has major insecurity issues. I wouldnt say I am entirely right here, and Im not saying the spouse is entirely right either. Im sure there could be a compromise to this issue that wouldnt have resulted in a divorce.
you couldn't stop talking to a friend to save your marriage and for your kid/s?
it looks like you're the asshole.
So basically no having friends if married? Thats a sad marriage and not one I want to be a part of. You should have a life outside the marriage. Its hard to go through life and not have any friends. If having friends (that I am not having sex with) during marriage makes me an asshole, so be it. IMO- there should be trust in a relationship. Its unhealthy to not have an outside social circle. Friends come in all genders, not always your same gender. Doesnt mean your banging all your friends because they are of the opposite sex. Im going to have to disagree on your previous comment. Having friends doesnt mean I dont care about my spouse or kids. It means I need to be married to someone who can be more understanding about the importance of friends in a relationship. The spouse who cant handle friends obviously has major insecurity issues. I wouldnt say I am entirely right here, and Im not saying the spouse is entirely right either. Im sure there could be a compromise to this issue that wouldnt have resulted in a divorce.
Detox is right. She may be completely overreacting here but the bottom line is that she told you she does not want you to continue what you were doing. Right or wrong that is what she wanted and so at that point the ball was in your court.
you had 2 choices
1) tell her that nothing is going on and that she needs to not worry about it and get over it while you continue to do what she asks you not to. And pay the repercussions later on.
2) Realize that, justified or not, your wife was not comfortable with what was going on. And that if you wanted to save your marriage and kids etc. than you would have to swallow your pride and not see this other chick.
you couldn't stop talking to a friend to save your marriage and for your kid/s?
it looks like you're the asshole.
So basically no having friends if married? Thats a sad marriage and not one I want to be a part of. You should have a life outside the marriage. Its hard to go through life and not have any friends. If having friends (that I am not having sex with) during marriage makes me an asshole, so be it. IMO- there should be trust in a relationship. Its unhealthy to not have an outside social circle. Friends come in all genders, not always your same gender. Doesnt mean your banging all your friends because they are of the opposite sex. Im going to have to disagree on your previous comment. Having friends doesnt mean I dont care about my spouse or kids. It means I need to be married to someone who can be more understanding about the importance of friends in a relationship. The spouse who cant handle friends obviously has major insecurity issues. I wouldnt say I am entirely right here, and Im not saying the spouse is entirely right either. Im sure there could be a compromise to this issue that wouldnt have resulted in a divorce.
Detox is right. She may be completely overreacting here but the bottom line is that she told you she does not want you to continue what you were doing. Right or wrong that is what she wanted and so at that point the ball was in your court.
you had 2 choices
1) tell her that nothing is going on and that she needs to not worry about it and get over it while you continue to do what she asks you not to. And pay the repercussions later on.
2) Realize that, justified or not, your wife was not comfortable with what was going on. And that if you wanted to save your marriage and kids etc. than you would have to swallow your pride and not see this other chick.
it's different for everyone. Personally, if I am doing something, I stop and think "how would I feel if I knew she was doing the exact same thing." ...that answer defines what is cheating to you and your situation.
it's different for everyone. Personally, if I am doing something, I stop and think "how would I feel if I knew she was doing the exact same thing." ...that answer defines what is cheating to you and your situation.
It can't just be about how up front you are. What if an old dame has a layover in your town and calls you up. Asks you if you want to grab dinner. You have ZERO intention of it going any further. Is it really cheating having a one time dinner (or once in a year or two) with an old GF if doesn't go any further? Do you really have to tell your current gal knowing she has a hot button re. this old flame?
If you do this once in a long while, I say no. If it's once a month, that's cheating.
I had a couple of drinks with an old flame one time and didn't tell my current gal. But I also know I'd never cheat on her in a million years.
My gal still gets texts from he ex hubby. She asked me if it bothered her:
"Are you getting together with him? She says no.
"Do you want to sleep with him?" Hell no, she says.
"Then I don't care. Just don't tell me about it."
Trust is a beautiful thing. And don't tell me there aren't any gals/guys out there that can be trusted. That's B.S.
It can't just be about how up front you are. What if an old dame has a layover in your town and calls you up. Asks you if you want to grab dinner. You have ZERO intention of it going any further. Is it really cheating having a one time dinner (or once in a year or two) with an old GF if doesn't go any further? Do you really have to tell your current gal knowing she has a hot button re. this old flame?
If you do this once in a long while, I say no. If it's once a month, that's cheating.
I had a couple of drinks with an old flame one time and didn't tell my current gal. But I also know I'd never cheat on her in a million years.
My gal still gets texts from he ex hubby. She asked me if it bothered her:
"Are you getting together with him? She says no.
"Do you want to sleep with him?" Hell no, she says.
"Then I don't care. Just don't tell me about it."
Trust is a beautiful thing. And don't tell me there aren't any gals/guys out there that can be trusted. That's B.S.
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