All the years of euphoria from winning will never cancel out the losses and money that will never return. This has been the worst season in many years for me. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even find the same joy in winning anymore, it’s simply a temporary relief until the next game.
After a loss or bad beat, I don’t really feel anything anymore, just numb really. I’ve come to realize that I don’t gamble to win money, I do it for the period of time in- between kickoff and the final kneel down. I enjoy the feeling of knowing I may have picked the right side and I’m brilliant at calling football games.
Gambling is truly an awful disease. The amount of regret I hold inside is enough to crush a mountain. Lost lots of good friends and family. Lots of career opportunities down the drain. I have nothing. When I look back at it all, I ask my self, why did you stay with this for so long? And my only response is, like cancer, it’s something that’s within your dna and there is no cure.
It’s even more sad that I came to this forum tonight to just let my hurting thoughts out to anyone who will listen.