My shitclock works like this. Tuesday through Friday is between 12:30 - 2:30 Pacific Standard Time. Those are my days of normal dieting. I can usually fight off any sudden urges. I work close to my house, so I'm not afraid to stop by for an emergency pit stop every once in awhile.
It's weird when I have to go, the second I pull into my driveway, it's like the fuckin thing has a mind of it's own. Like it knows you're home, and their have been some close calls.
Saturday - Monday, it's 7:00 AM. No questions asked. That's my alcohol only diet. It wakes me up and I'm good the rest of the day.
I would have to pass also. It is hard for me to start pissing if there is people watching or in my space talking making noise or whatever. Stage fright if you put a name on it.
That goes away if I have to piss bad enough when I am drunk.
I will wait to piss in the shitter at a bar. I am not a fan of bumping elbows with dudes while I piss.
It does not help my pecker shines like Leon Phelps when it is out in the open.
Stage fright is a pain in the ass for me. If I get going and someone comes in, not a problem at all. If I try and walk up next to someone at a urinal and piss, I don't have a chance. 
I was in Columbus, OH for a Gopher/OSU football game a few years back and they had a bar with a bathroom where you opened the door and staired right into the only crapper....with no door of course. What kind of an idiot designs something like that.
I had to wait until I was about to crap my pants and the bathroom was empty. I did my business and was walking out of the stall in less than a minute. No chance I was going to play the roll of crapper in bar on display. 
BEST QUOTE EVER.
I can't believe a shit post is going to get me out of hiding. But i do have a gem of a story. Waaaay back in the day, i was a decent tennis player and entered my first tourney. I was maybe 12. Of course i am in all whites. Dad being a tool just drops me off with no money or nothing. Well, either nerves or whatever I sharded in my pants. It wasnt a complete blowout, but with white shorts, well there was no hiding it. I was alone with no coin to buy another pair. It had rained the previous day, so i sat in a puddle of mud and told all i fell down. Well, i went up against a top ranked guy in my 1st match in white shorts covered with a mixture of mud and shit. Suffice to say, I took a dive. Think i went out 6-0, 6-0. It was double elimation, but i was so freaked out i didnt even show up for the next match. I never played another tourney again. lol.
Also, when i was in the Army, our barracks were real old and they just had this one big room with about 10 toilets. No doors. So you would be sitting down dropping a duece, and some dude would just roll up next to you and do his thing. Now that's an experience.
Captain
I can't believe a shit post is going to get me out of hiding. But i do have a gem of a story. Waaaay back in the day, i was a decent tennis player and entered my first tourney. I was maybe 12. Of course i am in all whites. Dad being a tool just drops me off with no money or nothing. Well, either nerves or whatever I sharded in my pants. It wasnt a complete blowout, but with white shorts, well there was no hiding it. I was alone with no coin to buy another pair. It had rained the previous day, so i sat in a puddle of mud and told all i fell down. Well, i went up against a top ranked guy in my 1st match in white shorts covered with a mixture of mud and shit. Suffice to say, I took a dive. Think i went out 6-0, 6-0. It was double elimation, but i was so freaked out i didnt even show up for the next match. I never played another tourney again. lol.
Also, when i was in the Army, our barracks were real old and they just had this one big room with about 10 toilets. No doors. So you would be sitting down dropping a duece, and some dude would just roll up next to you and do his thing. Now that's an experience.
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