Waking up early to take dumps.

Not myself but I was playing golf about 5 years ago with a group of guys. They were a regular group of guys that were all old buds from school who gambled, and partied their asses off. Good times eveyday with these guys. One day it started to rain on the golf course, a pop up shower. One of guys( the same two guys I talked about in ARE you faster than a 12 year old) Was hammered on vodka and actually shart his pants. He unzipped his buddies golf bag on the cart he was riding in and pulled out a towel and cleaned his sharted ass off. Of course this dude is funny so he put the shitty towel back in his bag and said nothing.

Before the end of the day. The other guy not knowing, gets that same shit towel out of his bag and went straight to his face with it. This motherfucker did a full rubdown before realizing something was wrong.

And when it was discovered by all of us what the fuck he was so pissed about, none of us could breathe from laughing so hard.

Not myself but I was playing golf about 5 years ago with a group of guys. They were a regular group of guys that were all old buds from school who gambled, and partied their asses off. Good times eveyday with these guys. One day it started to rain on the golf course, a pop up shower. One of guys( the same two guys I talked about in ARE you faster than a 12 year old) Was hammered on vodka and actually shart his pants. He unzipped his buddies golf bag on the cart he was riding in and pulled out a towel and cleaned his sharted ass off. Of course this dude is funny so he put the shitty towel back in his bag and said nothing.

Before the end of the day. The other guy not knowing, gets that same shit towel out of his bag and went straight to his face with it. This motherfucker did a full rubdown before realizing something was wrong.

And when it was discovered by all of us what the fuck he was so pissed about, none of us could breathe from laughing so hard.

my boy salts it sounds like it may be time to wind up the sh*t clock again...

me got no trouble. mine is digital like an 80's casio watch n sh*t...

and uuhhhh no public facilities for me up until about a mth ago. was at  golf course and had to go terribly bad and corked that b*tch up as long as i could and there was no more waiting. was at a nice track and in the middle of the course so i said wtf and forgot about the ocd. went into the womens bathroom because i know damn well it was nicer and wasnt trippin knowing no women were playing or around so werent going to use it anyways. nice ass bthrm but still public so my ass was at least 6 inches above the multiple layers of the sanitary seat paper bs i put down when releasing the logs...

Not myself but I was playing golf about 5 years ago with a group of guys. They were a regular group of guys that were all old buds from school who gambled, and partied their asses off. Good times eveyday with these guys. One day it started to rain on the golf course, a pop up shower. One of guys( the same two guys I talked about in ARE you faster than a 12 year old) Was hammered on vodka and actually shart his pants. He unzipped his buddies golf bag on the cart he was riding in and pulled out a towel and cleaned his sharted ass off. Of course this dude is funny so he put the shitty towel back in his bag and said nothing.

Before the end of the day. The other guy not knowing, gets that same shit towel out of his bag and went straight to his face with it. This motherfucker did a full rubdown before realizing something was wrong.

And when it was discovered by all of us what the fuck he was so pissed about, none of us could breathe from laughing so hard.

Like a what the fuck?

Anyway, Salt, you need some fiber pills. Take 3 a day in the morning and you should be good to .............uh..........go

my boy salts it sounds like it may be time to wind up the sh*t clock again...

me got no trouble. mine is digital like an 80's casio watch n sh*t...

and uuhhhh no public facilities for me up until about a mth ago. was at  golf course and had to go terribly bad and corked that b*tch up as long as i could and there was no more waiting. was at a nice track and in the middle of the course so i said wtf and forgot about the ocd. went into the womens bathroom because i know damn well it was nicer and wasnt trippin knowing no women were playing or around so werent going to use it anyways. nice ass bthrm but still public so my ass was at least 6 inches above the multiple layers of the sanitary seat paper bs i put down when releasing the logs...

No crappy stories, but I was at a block party where they had a ton of satellites.  The lines were HORRIBLE. This gal is in front of me and next in line.  Door opens and she goes walking toward it.  A guy behind me says to me, "well what are you waiting for, go with her."  I'm like .  I turn around and go, uuuuummmmm, no."  The guy goes, "well, then I will," and walks by me toward the satellite (where the gal is now inside holding the door open). 

Sure enough this guy pissed with his ass in her face while she pissed sitting on the toilet.....all on a nice, hot, 90 degree day after 13 beers.

I would piss in my pants before I could complete an act like that, but you gotta admit, that guy had some serious coconuts.