One Year Sober

There really are some sick people on this site.

 

Cave- Congrats buddy, that is great news and very touching. Best of luck as you continue to fight.

Thanks for the kind words guys.  I think the hardest part of this whole mess is forgiving yourself.  I spend a lot of time thinking about how much harm and damage I've done to my body.  How I can be so careless for so many years without a thought about the consequences.  The damage done to my pancreas and my kidneys is from own recklessness.  I have myself to blame and nobody else.  I wish I could go back in time and beat the crap outta my younger self.  I can't do none of that ... I can't change the past ... I can only change today and hope for the best tomorrow.  I'm not trying to be an inspiration to anybody.  Maybe there's that one guy out there that's going down my same road, reads this post and realizes maybe its time to wise up too.  My dad is an old man in his 70's ... he keeps things simple ... he told me "son, change is good".  That's it!!!  So simple yet so true!!!  Good luck with your bets guys!!!  Oh, hang in there I-Need-A-Detox, read some of your stuff too.  Stay strong.

Unfortunately I was a daily drinker.  Probably 7/8 pints of beer a day and throw in some shots for the weekends.  That was enough for a trip to the hospital and some damage to my pancreas, kidneys (not so much alcohol related) and a temporarily busted liver.  Becareful with the bottle.. 

CONGRATS...STOPPED DRINKING FOR SIX MONTHS NOW MYSELF..PROMISED MY BABY DAUGHTER I WOULD STOP FOR A YEAR WHEN SHE WAS BORN..WANTED TO BE 100 PERCENT  TO TAKE CARE OF HER..DIDNT THINK IT WOULD BE THAT EASY..USED TO DRINK TILL TW0 IN THE MORNING..PROBABLY MAKE IT UP IN ONE NIGHT NEXT YEAR..YAAAAAAAAAY

do you ever drink the non alcoholic beers? Or is that too much of a gateway to the real thing?

People in AA meetings always said its a terrible idea and you'll be off the wagon its just a matter of time. But when I'm out with family for meals and stuff I always ordered NA beers. The only thing it lead to was people asking why I wasnt drinking....

GREEN BOTTLES AND KAMAKAZES

After years of struggling with sobriety this is one of the reasons I think it may stick this time around. Until I just got up around 30 I just figured if I wake up in the morning there can't be anything THAT serious going on health wise. I'm back on the wagon and finally made a doctors appt for my first full physical after 10 years of hard partying, heavy drinking, and more Rx drug use than Michael Jackson went through on a good day.

I may get a clean bill of health or I may be told those years came at a steep price. If its the latter I don't even think I'd think i would bat an eye. I made all over my own decisions and may have to finally pay the bill.

Its too close to the real thing Mess.  Non alcoholic beer is a no go for me.  I'm dreading work related parties cause its almost too weird to be the only schmuck not drinking a beer.  I may consider a non alcoholic beer then (then pour it in a pint glass).  With only a year of sobriety under my belt, I'm still trying to navigate thru this mess I've created for myself.

So this is an upcoming appointment or you've already had the doctors appointment?  I'm no doctor Degen ... maybe the doctors can do a comprehensive metabolic panel as a first screen.  Check your liver enzymes and kidney function to see where you're at.  I wish you the best man.  Take care of your body man ... you only get one.

Its in one month. They did blood tests my last appt over a decade ago and things were elevated then. And the party hadn't even started at that point....

cave, well done man, keep it up. What was the toughest part of the first year, like when did it take place and how long did you battle it?

Ad1260, the toughest time during the first year was the very beginning.  Partly cause I was battling my two illnesses at the same time (pancreas and kidneys).  I was constantly stressed out at the beginning.  I was so desperate to get well and to understand my illnesses.  I mean alcoholism is a disease too so really I was fighting three damn things at once.  I really don't know how I made it through last year.  Regarding staying sober, there are many hard times.  I mean you must go through a complete life overhaul.  From the friends you have, to the places you go, everything changes.  Its very difficult.  I was one of those that did not go to AA.  I'm not against it or anything, its just if I'm gonna fight something to the end, I'm doing it my way, end of story.  I did this to myself ... I have nobody to blame ... so I'll do whatever I can to make this right today so things are better for me tomorrow.

Just don't be afraid, go do what you have to do and listen to your doctors.  If anything, the liver is usually what takes the most beating but it's also the one organ than can heal itself.  So as long as you don't have cirrhosis, you'll be fine.  Most heavy drinkers have fatty liver, elevated numbers, etc ... all of that will take care of itself once you stop drinking.  Degen, you'll be alright homie ... don't worry

Congrats brother.  Wish you the best. 

Congrats aqnd God Bless brother!        If you ever want to chat, I'm here.

thanks man i am dealing with the first week of sobriety and suffer from HORRIBLE nightmares man...its awful

I probably drank 40 beers this weekend (probably 2/3's of those were 500 ml cans)  .... and I'll feel like a sack of shit until Tuesday night.  The worst part is the last 3 weeks I've made a huge effort to getting in shape .... stepped on the scale 3 weeks ago and I was 240 (i was 198 at my wedding 2 years ago) ..... since then my schedule has been playing hockey on mondays, gym tues-fri with a 2 mile run at the beginning, 45-1 hour of weights and a 3 mile run at the end.   I've lost 7 pounds .... if i hadn't been drinking i probably would have lost 15.  

[p
f     They are legit. Worst part of it all for me. After two weeks of them straight I brought it up in a meeting and they said they'll stop for the most part any day now. They were only off by a month.

  great job!

Keep it up

  Well done.

thank you man!!!

Hang in there!!! Take it ONE DAY AT A TIME.  I think I went through HELL to be honest with you.  I was in the hospital my first week and I was sweating 24/7.  You have any local support?  Family or friends that know what you're going through?

I can relate, always joked about being a functional or social alcoholic among friends.

Would get blasted 3-4 days a week mainly on weekdays after work and an occasional weekend. I am talking solid drinking from 5 happy hour to 2am. Would always show up for work feeling shitty but got the job done for about 10 years. Only drank at local bars or clubs never at home.

Then it happened...DUI in March of last year. Went through all the required hoops the court made me jump through 20 AA's, DUI classes for 9 months, some community service and visit to the LA county morgue which I posted about last week.

Since the DUI I have only gotten drunk once. I was dropped off so gave myself no chance at driving home and had a friend pick me up which was a while ago. It was a life changer for me. I miss going out as it was a big part of my social life as well as most of my friends.

Now I sit at home most of the time doing crap around the house. I get crazy bored but don't want to risk another DUI if I happen to venture out. I think if I get fucked up enough I could potentially try to drive home so I just don't go out. I know could take a cab or get dropped off but figure fuck it my social life and friends were revolving around alcohol 100%, time to break the cycle.

I still don't think I am an alcoholic per se, I think I am just addicted to the social aspect of it. I don't crave alcohol but do miss chillin out in bars shooting dirt and watching games with people.

I do have an occasional beer every few weeks at home but its only 1 and when I know I am not going to be driving for the rest of the day. Last week I had 1 beer and only drank half threw it away, I am not interested in drinking unless I am at a bar.

I work from home now so it makes it worse since I lost the social aspect of working at an office. My friends think I have become a hermit and don't talk to them much anymore. Just got to figure out things to do that do not involve drinking for social interaction. I occasionally drop by the AA group just to get out and keep me in check. They are a bunch of crusty old men and funny as hell.

Maybe I am in denial about being an alcoholic I dunno, but like I said I have no craving for it just the desire to hang out in bars.

Anyway guess I needed to vent.

Congrats to you sir on your 1 year "birthday".