i will be Tutoring little kindergartens!

okay, gents

I'm officially a tutor on Mondays with little kindergartens through 3rd grade.  The classroom teachers want me to get in front of little kids and tell them something about myself, whether it's my hobbies, etc.  They want me to bring pictures.

My awkward situation is, I don't know what to tell them!  That i like to gamble and think of big-tities pornstars?!  Ha!  The other thing is, i hate being fake unless absolutely necessary. 

i was thinking of buying chocolates for the girls and baseball cards for the boys.  But if I do this route, i would have to spend at least $20-$40. What are my alternatives?

Some of the teachers are middle-age women, some are gorgeous while some aren't.

It has been a long time since I have been a kid, so my old methods of having fun as a kid is out-dated.  I know now that these kids have the new Apple ipod, computers, even cell phones!

Heck, some are even richer in resources than me!

You have pictures of you traveling or anything? 

i have not taken any pictures for over 10 years!

Alright bring in some pictures of you when you were the age of Kindergarten to 3rd grade and talk about what you liked to do at that age. 

Email the teacher and decline the invitation.

You can explain the reason behind posting  in a thread asking for opinion on a particular team or game.  

i never kept any pictures or taken any pictures when i was in 3rd grade.  They all seemed to disappear!

wall,

This is not an exercise nor it is an option.  She wants me to get comfortable with the kids just by telling them a little bit about me. 

I think I can do it.  It will deter my senses if these kids give me the blank faces unlike the teens or high-school students who usually gives a little expressions. 

................................

kickinA,

Have you noticed that I've never answered smart alecks response?  GL.

they are little kids, you should just make something up.

Buddy, if ya like little kids, it will be easy. Hell, more than likely they aint paying you no mind any how. Just bullshit'em.

What will you be tutoring the kids in?  I hope it's not English as your grammar is awful. 

Tell them you like sports, watching sports, playing sports. Do you have old pictures of you playing a sport? That would work.

I mean they're young they still wanna be athletes and fireman and crap, you can easily spin sports with out having to talk about betting on them. You def can;t spin porn stars to sound like a healthy activity though.

Last thing you want is a bunchy of stuffy middle aged women thinking you whack it all the time.

Talk about what you wanted to do when you were their age and how those goals changed over time; talk about what you would do differently if you could do it over. Tell them now is a good time to build life long friendships........................

If you can't handle this, the tutoring will be way too hard.

i liked big boobs and gambling when i was in kindergarten.

i remember trying to look up my teachers skirt when she would step over me during nap time.

did you guys have nap time?

nap time, recess and lunch  

everything else

i agree esplanade. having a serious talk is ok.  

how important having goals is .... how life can be hard sometimes .... how helping out in the community is a good thing and explain why .... why it is important to treat others the way you want to be treated ... when you try something and fail to keep on trying ... etc.

i remember being a kid and 99% of the people that spoke, sucked.  

nobody is honest anymore. it's all pc bs. and even as a kid i could smell the bull shit.

Fart, burp and then fall down, they will love you

do simple science...the teachers love it too... go to youtube and do 5 or 6 simple ones like these:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66yAVJ3OQ6k
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrVuag3YCtQ
 

Almost every teacher has their real life and then the life that their students get to see.  That doesn't mean their "real" life is bad or anything, you just have to keep some parts private.

Just tell them you like sports, you could even relate it to math for them.  They will love it. 

At their age, they would love to hear your favorite animal and color.  They want to be able to relate to you because the moment you walk in, you are their idol.  Kids will start bragging that their favorite color is the same as yours.  Naming what month you were born will be a big deal to them as well.

 Being a male will be a huge plus for the most part.  Many of these kids don't have a male figure in their life that takes an interest in what they are doing inside or outside of school.

Bring 2 dice & teach the kids to play craps. Kids love that.

Hand out parlay sheets

to the responses........take a deck of cards and have them play for their lunch money....

Go to the pound and get a cute puppy.Take the puppy to class and tell the kids this is what I live for. Take the puppy back to the pound later and make them refund, Tell the kids - Parvo.