Posted:
#26
Quote Originally Posted by dl36:
So how do you get better?
I am not going tov give a come to jesus talk and higher power where I tell you to go to church or GA (gamblers anonymous). Instead here are the things I would recommend.
1. Addressing your compulsive behaviors
Your internet, tv, xbox, gambling, substances etc. is the vehicle that you are using to avoid the pain that is overwhelming... The problem is that these things are not working as well in coping and have gone from an impulsive choice and developed into a compulsive lifestyle. These behaviors further isolate you and probably are effecting your healing...
Try this, choose one and take a break... put your xbox in the closet for 60 days.... you can play all you want in 60 days, but just for now give it a break, this should free some time and energy up for you to make some choices... You can pick which ever one you want and remember you are not quitting, only taking a break until things get better.
2. Exercise
There was a study done on gamblers that looked at their being successful in being abstinent from gambling over a year that the thing that was found most commonly in the study that was more then GA, more then therapy or anything else you could do was regular exercise. The theory behind this is that gamblers need "action" and the brain/body chemicals released in exercise gives the gambler what they need in their chemistry.
This could be gong to the gym, but this could also be just going for 30 min walk daily... you will also feel better and more productive afterward, so dont base this on your motivation or how you feel before...
Productivity
For gamblers we are often all or nothing people. This is a part of getting stuck. but this is why we can step and save the day in crisis like no other... this is also why were are so impatient and procrastinators (but thats another session. lol)
When I worked with people that had serious psychotic breaks in their recovery in getting back to life and world, I would tell them to try and do one thing a day... even if it is 11:30pm and you have done nothing, you still have time to do something...
but this can be as simple as mailing something, working on your resume (even i you dont send it), going for a walk like I said before, figuring out which gym you are going and get the address and phone number ready to when you go later...
The problem is that as all or nothing people we either believe that we need to attack something head on with 100% effort and guarantee of success or we d nothing... small steps, and recognize your small steps of progress every step counts...
Hope this is helpful... I have worked with people in your situation, but unlike most therapist, I know and understand how to treat us gamblers who usually get fucked over by tradition methods of therapy...
So how do you get better?
I am not going tov give a come to jesus talk and higher power where I tell you to go to church or GA (gamblers anonymous). Instead here are the things I would recommend.
1. Addressing your compulsive behaviors
Your internet, tv, xbox, gambling, substances etc. is the vehicle that you are using to avoid the pain that is overwhelming... The problem is that these things are not working as well in coping and have gone from an impulsive choice and developed into a compulsive lifestyle. These behaviors further isolate you and probably are effecting your healing...
Try this, choose one and take a break... put your xbox in the closet for 60 days.... you can play all you want in 60 days, but just for now give it a break, this should free some time and energy up for you to make some choices... You can pick which ever one you want and remember you are not quitting, only taking a break until things get better.
2. Exercise
There was a study done on gamblers that looked at their being successful in being abstinent from gambling over a year that the thing that was found most commonly in the study that was more then GA, more then therapy or anything else you could do was regular exercise. The theory behind this is that gamblers need "action" and the brain/body chemicals released in exercise gives the gambler what they need in their chemistry.
This could be gong to the gym, but this could also be just going for 30 min walk daily... you will also feel better and more productive afterward, so dont base this on your motivation or how you feel before...
Productivity
For gamblers we are often all or nothing people. This is a part of getting stuck. but this is why we can step and save the day in crisis like no other... this is also why were are so impatient and procrastinators (but thats another session. lol)
When I worked with people that had serious psychotic breaks in their recovery in getting back to life and world, I would tell them to try and do one thing a day... even if it is 11:30pm and you have done nothing, you still have time to do something...
but this can be as simple as mailing something, working on your resume (even i you dont send it), going for a walk like I said before, figuring out which gym you are going and get the address and phone number ready to when you go later...
The problem is that as all or nothing people we either believe that we need to attack something head on with 100% effort and guarantee of success or we d nothing... small steps, and recognize your small steps of progress every step counts...
Hope this is helpful... I have worked with people in your situation, but unlike most therapist, I know and understand how to treat us gamblers who usually get fucked over by tradition methods of therapy...
Good stuff, DL.
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