Just wanted to update this thread. Not that really anyone cares. But it appears to me that this is finally... over with. I finally had enough in me to open up this girls last email to me at myspace. Yes it took me over 6 months to open it up. It was dated January 13, 2008. and here's what she had to say:
First off I can’t help to say that I’m completely disguised by you, I know you aren’t the greatest of a person, but this is just unexceptable to do to any humanbeing.I could see if you were married and I had a one night stand or something maybe someone would react to this extent but we both know that isn’t the case.
Futhermore I’m sure your relieved to know that I have decided ..ion.This isn’t something I believe in at all, and I don’t know what this will mentally do to me,I’m hardly prepared but I’m alittle over five weeks now and they found that out by drawing blood, they said its best when done at the earliest stages, and by law it can’t be performed until a woman is at least six weeks.I did several at home tests the day after I spoke to you, and they were all positive, that’s when Melissa made me an appointment at a clinic to have my blood drawn to make sure I was, and talk over options, at that point I was still very against it.
I don’t know one day its like I just know its what I have to do and then other day I’m a mess and I can’t bear to think of it. But I know I can’t do this on my own I would lose my mind, literally, and I have a child right now that needs me, with a dad that never sees her, so I already have one of those cases.I know this is wrong but I just don’t see how this can work, that’s why at least I’m going to get it as soon as possible,so at least it doesn’t feel anything phiscally.
The past few weeks have been complete hell for me, a lot of it has to do with you and your evilness,my mom keeps asking me whats wrong but then saying she doesn’t want to know because she’ll be mad at me, shes just noticed my depression over the past three weeks, and I’m doing my best to do normal day things but I feel so dragged down,
I can’t tell anyone but Melissa, so people close to me are asking questions,its just to hard to fake it at this point.I’ve decided that it isn’t in my best interest to call you, that’s why I have e-mailed, I can’t mentally take the rejection of you ignoring me at this time, it brings me down more, so I’m not going to put myself through it anymore.
I’m not going to lie I’m very weak right now, but at the same time I know I’m strong a lot of people would have completely lost it my now and I’m still hanging on. I have so much anger in me right now its just not right, its taking all of me to just deal with it, I even got in trouble at work and I wasn’t allowed to work for a week because I got into it with someone I work with, it was somewhat my fault I just didn’t deal with it in a proper way.But anyway I just can’t wait for this to be over, I just want to be me again without the stress,anxiety, and anger,I’m sure it will take me along time to heal but I know one day I’ll be okay.
I won’t allow you to push me down anymore,because everytime, I have to get myself back up again,and it just ain’t right.I think you have a lot of issues that maybe aren’t fixable, you just ain’t right, and I think your wife does too, but maybe she has issues because of you?I can totally see that, but its her life and her choice to live the way she wants, you people just have a very screwed up way..I don’t know..it just ain’t right.I use to think I would love to be with you (like out in the open), but now I realize it would never work and I’d be completely miserable, It saddens me that I have had to come to this point to see the real you, I think I made you to be someone that you aren’t in my head for a long time, and like I just have lost so much for you in such little time, I have no respect for you, I almost hate you, and its hard for me to HATE someone. I’ve wanted to make a scene and freak out on you believe me, but trying to think rationally I know I have wasted enough time and energy, I could have had a degree or something positive I could have put all that energy into something fulfilling to my life, that’s why I’m closing the book forever, but the pregnancy issue is still on my shoulders at this point.
I have an appointment on the 23rd,I’ve saved up half the money and Melissa is loaning me the other half until I get my taxes back.I don’t really think this will be an issue but I want you to stay away from me, right now and in the future as well,I could never be with someone that I had an abortion with, or even be friends, for obvious reasons…I’m sure that is the way you will feel as well.I will make this perfectly clear to you right now,I half way understand the way you think,you have issues with insecurity and control, and when you think you lose it, you get desperate because your ego needs to be stroked, NOT because it has anything to do with you needing or wanting me in a serious way, so IF THIS ever occurs in your mind you better CONTROL it.
I like to think everything will be okay, and I’ll have my friend to take care of me through it.Do not make contact me , or if I see you somewhere in the future don’t even acknowledge it.I don’t ever want to talk about the abortion, or see anything that reminds me of it.
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