Lets face it, Fridays arent that exciting in NCAAB but I've got strep and figured I try something completely random and fun tonight. I had a friend back in college that was arguably one of the worst athletes and even worse sports fans I've ever met but still played in all our March Madness pools, fantasy football (he actually drafted a kicker in the 2nd round his first year), and gambled with the rest of us. Unbelievably he won fantasy that year, and actually made money betting. He also won 2 March Madness pools and did this all on one simple, ridiculous, yet hilarious philosophy... He ALWAYS picked based on the superior mascot.
So for tonight's games I'm gonna throw $20 on what I believe is the superior mascot, and for those of you with a sense of humor this is where the fun starts! Some of tonights plays are obvious (unless someone can make a better case) but theres a couple that seem like a dead heat. So here goes nothing...
Yale/Harvard: Bulldog vs Crimson... Bulldog beats a color anyday but you could argue that the pilgrim (unofficial mascot) is the dogs master, however anybody that picks up another poop is inferior: Yale +12 (got it at a puppy)
Brown/Dartmouth: Bear vs. Big Green... another case of beast vs color and I'm pretty sure Bears arent scared of green seeing that they climb trees. Dart's unofficial mascot keggy the keg, although enjoyable and would be my choice if I had to pick which one I wanted to be near, would make a bear attack less painful and if consumed by the bear would only make matters worse, Bears are mean drunks: Brown pk (got it a cub)
St Peters/Marist: Peacocks vs. Red Foxes... Peacocks may be pretty to look at, and have a shit ton of feathers, but theyre vein by nature and a fox would attack while the peacock is looking in the mirror. (Redd Foxx was quoted as saying "youre just dumb son, youre just dumb" when asked if a peacock could take him out)... Marist +9.5
Chatt/W Carolina: Scrappy Mockingbird vs. Mountaineers... pretty sure mountaineers ate mockingbirds in desperate times, but these are scrappy mockingbirds so theyre annoying and tactical. I've never come across a mockingbird with the flu and I dont know how many are in their flock so this comes down to intangibles. Do the mountaineers get drunk off moonshine before the hunt cause they think the mocs will be an easy kill, or do they have their guns loaded up and ready to take the mocs by surprise? I'm gonna go with men with weapons: W.Car -10
Here's where it gets tricky so I'm gonna post my leans and see what comes out:
Princeton/Columbia: Age old question, Tigers vs Lions...Lions are the King of the jungle and NYC can be quite the jungle, Lean Col
Penn/Cornell: Quakers vs Big Red Bears... Quakers are usually non-violent but do they have guns? Or will they be scared shitless cause theyve never seen a red bear? Lean: Big Red Bears, muzzle loading guns and oatmeal probably wont stop a Bear
Niagra/Loyola MD: Purple Eagles vs. Greyhounds... I for one have never seen a purple eagle so I believe it is either a figment of imagination or some badass mythical creature that only comes out sporadically? If the greyhound gets off to a fast start he could run into a tunnel and hide until the eagle realizes it has no chance... Lean: Purple Eagle cause I've seen a greyhound before
Sienna/Iona: Saints vs. Gaels... Dad always told me never to discuss or compare religion at the dinner table, so this is a tough one. I have to think Saints can speak Gaelic though so that may give them an edge. Lean: Sienna
Fairfield/Manhattan: Stags/Jaspers... Thought this was a no-brainer at first cause I had no clue what a Jasper was, and Stags are just badass, especially stag parties, that is until I found out it was named after a guy who invented the 7th inning stretch: https://www.gojaspers.com/ViewArticle.dbml?DB_OEM_ID=12500&KEY=&ATCLID=640189 Lean: Manhattan, Its AMERICA and the guy invented the 7th inning stretch...
Canisius/Rider: Golden Griffins vs. Broncos... Hmm, mythical creature thats half lion half eagle sounds pretty good on paper, but then again Broncos are not just mean ass thunder-horses, but theyre also badass early Suv's and in the 80's there was a certain Bronco who could probably kill a Griffin with a football: Hard Lean: Rider
Jacksonville/E Tenn St: Dolphins vs Buccaneers... Dolphins are the sea's smartest creature, and certainly dominated Buccaneers in the 80's and early 90's, but Buccaneers traditionally have swords, cannons and limited morals. I would no doubt take a Dolphin in the water, but this game is on land: Strong Lean: E Tenn St
N. Florida/USC Upstate: Ospreys vs Spartans... This is another tough one, Spartans have weapons and armor to protect them from attacks, however the armor gets heavy after time and spartans tend to get tired towards the end of battle. If the Ospreys can stay in flight for the enitire battle, they may catch the Spartans off guard. Lean: N. Florida
Again this is just for fun and to try to provide a nice break from the typical forum B.S. that gets old after a while, so if you have any thoughts on the MASCOTS (not the teams, although I did try and make some loose comparisons in the write ups) please post them here and lets have some good old fashioned fun for a change! 
I hope you enjoy reading this thread as much as I enjoyed writing it 
Hot Forum Topics
