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Tiger Woods jokes

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1.      Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.
2.      What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.
3.      Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par.
4.      What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing.
5.      Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide between a wood and an iron.
6.      Perhaps Tiger should be using a driver?
7.      This is the first time Tiger's ever failed to drive 300 yards.
8.      Apparently, Tiger admitted this crash was the closest shave he's ever had - So Gillette has dropped his contract.
9.      After a wayward drive, Tiger Woods found water before nestling behind a tree.
10.  Apparently, the only person who can beat Tiger Woods with a golf club is his wife.
 
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Had to know these were coming
 
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I got one better;

The black man in Tiger got him the Escalde. The Asian in him drove it into a tree.

Zinger!
 
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When asked how many times she hit him, Tiger's wife responded "Put me down for a 5." 
 
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Quote Originally Posted by DTher85:

I got one better;

The black man in Tiger got him the Escalde. The Asian in him drove it into a tree.

Zinger!


Paul Azinger?
 
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They're already making a movie about it ... given Tiger's racial makeup it will be called "Black Thai Affairs".

Due to recent events, Tiger will be changing his nickname. In order to keep it in the cat family, he will now be known as "Cheetah".
 
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Posted: #9
Yea well he just went from fried rice to fried chicken in one day...
 
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What do Garland and Tiger Woods have in common.  You wrap both around a tree..
 
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When your putter knocks it in the wrong hole....be protected....

Titelist and Trojanz proud sponsors of the PGA tour

 
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Jokes are cool for the moment.....I hope that women will be just as understanding when we joke about how Mike Tyson KOed his woman or how Dale Earhanrdnt chased him woman down with his car...

I too find the jokes amusing.....but realistically.....swinging a club at a vehicle that leads to a crash is assault and domestic violence.....while Tiger is wrong for cheating and we should laugh and joke....Elin should be having a mug shot on the net for assaulting her husband.

Would we all be laughing if Tiger sustaned a head injury from the accident that KILLED him?

 
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Would we all be laughing if Tiger sustaned a head injury from the accident that KILLED him?

may have taken a another week or so for some, but the truth is.....YES
 
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Elin's excuse? She had to play a bad lie.

 

What do Lady Gaga and Tiger Woods have in common “Bad Romance”.

 

Elin's excuse? She had to play a bad lie.

            

We now see that Tiger Woods drives very well on the fairway but doesn't fare very well on the driveway.

 

What crossed Elin's mind as she stood there with a golf club in her hand as she heard his lame excuses?  "Just do it..."

            

Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a

tree. He couldn't decide between a wood and an iron.

            

What do Tiger and the Beatles have in common? They both experienced a hit with Norwegian Wood.

 

 

 
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What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

Elin found out he’s not a Tiger, he’s a Cheetah.

Tiger just hates it when he drives, and then his balls hit a tree.

Tiger said the fault of the accident was his Escalade. It’s typical of a golfer—always blame the caddy.

Tiger’s car still runs, but it goes “putt, putt, putt…”

What do baby seals and Tiger Woods have in common? Both were clubbed by a Scandanavian.

 
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Quote Originally Posted by ICAPSports:

Would we all be laughing if Tiger sustaned a head injury from the accident that KILLED him?

may have taken a another week or so for some, but the truth is.....YES

Yea, I guess you are right.....some will laugh too when Tiger says you had your swing, now let me take my swing.....some will laugh at that violent act too.

 
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Quote Originally Posted by ct1016:

Jokes are cool for the moment.....I hope that women will be just as understanding when we joke about how Mike Tyson KOed his woman or how Dale Earhanrdnt chased him woman down with his car...

I too find the jokes amusing.....but realistically.....swinging a club at a vehicle that leads to a crash is assault and domestic violence.....while Tiger is wrong for cheating and we should laugh and joke....Elin should be having a mug shot on the net for assaulting her husband.

Would we all be laughing if Tiger sustaned a head injury from the accident that KILLED him?

She came damn bear close! He was in/out of consciousness, and he was obviously trying to get away quickly due to the fact he wasnt wearing ant shoes!

We live in a society where women are given much more leeway, support, whatever you want to call it, when it comes to domestic violence. I have seen firsthand a woman smack, punch, kick, beat her boyfriend/husband, and cause physical harm, and nothing was done by "the authoritys". I of course was brought up never to hit a woman, thats why I always have duct tape and a shovel in my trunk should a date go wrong!

 
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If he had hit a mailbox and stop sign as well he would have a Grand Slam.
Warner Bros. has already started filming -movie will be called " Crouching Tiger,Hidden Hydrant ".
Nike is standing behind him but internal debate exists over their mktg. slogan   Just Do It.
 
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Quote Originally Posted by godsfavoritedog:

They're already making a movie about it ... given Tiger's racial makeup it will be called "Black Thai Affairs".

Due to recent events, Tiger will be changing his nickname. In order to keep it in the cat family, he will now be known as "Cheetah".



 
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Due to recent events, Tiger will be changing his nickname. In order to keep it in the cat family, he will now be known as "Cheetah".

 

This is the one I like the best.I might save this one for use a few years from now.

 
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-What's the difference between Tiger and Santa Claus?

- Santa stops after three hoes

 
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- What is the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger?

- Santa stops after three hoes!

 
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playing your own balls is the rules.\

 
 
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