Posted:
#26
Quote Originally Posted by MrBator:
Yeah, I heard about that, too. According to Miami Heat beat writer Ira Winderman, since practice ended yesterday, LeBron James has been holed up in his Indianapolis hotel room furiously working on his own re-make of Arthur Miller's Death of a Salesman. LeBron is calling his version Death of a Journeyman. In it, he has Reggie Evans playing the role of an aging NBA bench player who's career is winding down. Reggie gets some bad advice from his wife, who suggests that he should ask Nets general manager Billy King if he can skip all the Nets' road games and just show up for the home games. King promptly cuts Evans from the team, and Evans is bummed out. Meanwhile, Reggie's two worthless sons, Whiff and Lappy, are both going nowhere fast, but Whiff decides to try and make himself some quick cash by going to his old drug dealer and asking him if he can have a shot at peddling dope. The drug dealer doesn't even remember him and tells him to fuc.k off. Enraged by this, Whiff grabs the drug dealer's Samsung Galaxy Note II and runs away. Later on at home, Reggie and Whiff get into an argument in the front yard. Reggie is upset about Whiff's lack of desire to become a shi.tty NBA player like his old man. Whiff again tries to tell his father that he sucks at basketball, and sucks so bad that he probably couldn't even catch on with the Charlotte Bobcats. Whiff hugs his dad and begs him to let go of the unrealistic ambitions he has for him, and that he instead accept him as the pot-smoking layabout he's been since he was 9. Reggie, high after smoking a blunt, wasn't really listening, though, and thinks that Whiff is now interested in playing ball for a living. Reggie then climbs into his tricked-out Cadillac Escalade and deliberately drives it into the Hudson River and drowns, figuring that Whiff will use the life insurance money to pay for, ironically enough, a coveted spot at the LeBron James King's Academy Basketball Camp. At the funeral, though, Whiff decides he wants nothing to do with basketball, or working for a living in general, and instead resumes his life of playing video games and smoking joints around the clock until he forgets his own name.
Yeah, I heard about that, too. According to Miami Heat beat writer Ira Winderman, since practice ended yesterday, LeBron James has been holed up in his Indianapolis hotel room furiously working on his own re-make of Arthur Miller's Death of a Salesman. LeBron is calling his version Death of a Journeyman. In it, he has Reggie Evans playing the role of an aging NBA bench player who's career is winding down. Reggie gets some bad advice from his wife, who suggests that he should ask Nets general manager Billy King if he can skip all the Nets' road games and just show up for the home games. King promptly cuts Evans from the team, and Evans is bummed out. Meanwhile, Reggie's two worthless sons, Whiff and Lappy, are both going nowhere fast, but Whiff decides to try and make himself some quick cash by going to his old drug dealer and asking him if he can have a shot at peddling dope. The drug dealer doesn't even remember him and tells him to fuc.k off. Enraged by this, Whiff grabs the drug dealer's Samsung Galaxy Note II and runs away. Later on at home, Reggie and Whiff get into an argument in the front yard. Reggie is upset about Whiff's lack of desire to become a shi.tty NBA player like his old man. Whiff again tries to tell his father that he sucks at basketball, and sucks so bad that he probably couldn't even catch on with the Charlotte Bobcats. Whiff hugs his dad and begs him to let go of the unrealistic ambitions he has for him, and that he instead accept him as the pot-smoking layabout he's been since he was 9. Reggie, high after smoking a blunt, wasn't really listening, though, and thinks that Whiff is now interested in playing ball for a living. Reggie then climbs into his tricked-out Cadillac Escalade and deliberately drives it into the Hudson River and drowns, figuring that Whiff will use the life insurance money to pay for, ironically enough, a coveted spot at the LeBron James King's Academy Basketball Camp. At the funeral, though, Whiff decides he wants nothing to do with basketball, or working for a living in general, and instead resumes his life of playing video games and smoking joints around the clock until he forgets his own name.
I realize that perhaps no one here has ever seen the play Death of a Salesman, nor is aware of the plot, but c'mon, this is some of my best work!
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