Dare I say this is the BIGGEST WRITE-UP Covers.com has ever seen? TANK-A-PALOOZA 2014! Bucks@Pistons

What did that mean? They would have used up a ton of cap space, committed millions to trash and been left out of this year's draft lottery. Well my friends, that couldn't happen and that is why the Pistons are the true tankers for the 2014 NBA draft. 

You see, the Buck can tank, but they can't guarantee that they will get even a Top 3 pick with all this tanking. They just get more ping pong balls and better odds.

The Pistons, well the Pistons know if they tank they get to keep their pick this year if it falls in the top 8. And tank they did!

The plan of action came February 10th after they beat THE SPURS of all teams. Sound the fire alarm because that was their best win of the year. 

When once this team was making a playoff run, they have lost

EIGHTEEN of TWENTY TWO.

It is true TANK CITY except this tank isn't for potential lottery balls like the Bucks and Philly are looking for, it is for a REAL draft pick that the Pistons desperately want to keep in a draft we may not see again for another decade.

What does this all result in? The beating the Pistons took against the Heat in front of the all-time great Detroit teams was no fluke. This team has no interest in winning. The team is not all that good to begin with and now the coaching staff has clearly bought into getting a top 8 pick.

This all leads us to the Cavaliers.

The Cavs game I capped against the Nets, the one where I gave the Cavs so much credit for when they beat the Pistons in Detroit the game before was not a great comeback at all when they made a 10-0 run to finish the game. If the Pistons had won that game, they would be only ONE GAME behind the Cavs to get back into ninth place, a precarious place to be when you only have that thin a margin between you and an awful team and losing a lottery pick.

Players almost always do not buy into taking. What do they care about a draft pick that could potentially take their spot or move them off the team? They would want to avoid such a thing!

I don't think Michael Carter-Williams wants to tank to have Wiggins on his team. He wants to win. It's simply that the Sixers management have surrounded him with the most bare bones roster we've seen in the last 25 years that they cannot win...until that losing becomes to magnified and a win, any win is demanded for a man's honor, and goes beyond the basketball court. That honor was on display last night and the Sixers dropped 70 points against the Pistons in the first half, an amazing feat for what was on the floor on Philly's side.

The Pistons played with no shame and got pounded the rest of the way and were never really in it. When losing doesn't bother you, especially losing to a team who was tied for the worst losing streak in history, who can you beat?

What does this all mean? The REAL tankers, the ones who KNOW what they will get for all the tanking are NOT the SIXERS OR BUCKS. It's the Pistons.

And on Monday March 31st in Detroit, it will be the worst team in the NBA, the Bucks, who still somehow still have a worse record than the Sixers (don't ask me how), vs. the frauds that are the Pistons.

All this and we are going to back the frauds? Yes we are.

We know the Bucks are tanking and they are doing a wonderful job at it and they will almost certainly end up with the worst record in the NBA. How in the world can you have a worse record than a team that has lost 26 in A ROW. By throwing in the towel. Why win now when you have done more losing than what could make your head spin.

So 1. is complete. We see why the Bucks and Pistons are officially tanking. So why are we going to take a tanking team?

2. Establish why the Pistons are ready to quit tanking for us this one game against the Bucks.

We establish that the Pistons will quit tanking by a law I created for capping shi+ teams.

It's called "The Law of National Embarrassment".

What this law says is this: you can lose and lose ignominiously and continuously, but when you see your name in lights, on a national stage, you therefore try to win at least a single game and remove yourself from the spotlight of being a National Embarrassment.

The Sixers have tried for MANY games to win. They knew going to Texas to face the Rockets and Spurs that the Knicks were the only opportunity to end the losing streak before tying it. The Knicks blew a 15 point lead in a ...

...crazed Sixers run and only an MCW missed 3 saved the Knicks from being what the Pistons are now.

The Sixers have been gutted so deeply that it is amazing they won anything before the end of the year.

And beat them they did. Not only did the Pistons lose, they lost by 25 on Saturday.

And their name and highlights were shown on every TV news station across the country and parts of the world. Why? The Sixers were a national (and mini-international) story and the Pistons got dragged into it.

That loss was the worst of the season. The second worst came the night prior. 

When all the Piston greats were honored AT HOME, Detroit got slaughtered by 32. What a disgrace to the legacy of this team and what a shame paying fans had to witness it.

The Pistons truly are a National Embarrassment at the moment, replacing the woeful Sixers.

Well the law of National Embarrassment requires you escape that spotlight immediately.

Who's up next, immediately after the Sixers? Not the Spurs or Thunder or Rockets, all teams the Sixers had to be annihilated by along the way, losing and losing and losing.

It's the one team that is actually worse than the Sixers: the 14 win Bucks....

Now folks, you lost by 32 in front of the all-time greats.

You lost to a team that had the longest losing streak not in the NBA, but in major US sports history.

And now, after one day's rest so it's not a back to back, you get the Bucks. 

That is a GET OUT OF JAIL FREE CARD. 

BUT, you and I will have to deal with getting a win AND covering a spread so we have no such card.

If you lose to Bucks in this three game span, you pretty much close up shop and live under a bridge in this bankrupt city.

They will not lose to the Bucks given the Law of National Embarrassment.

Is this law effective? Did I just pull it out of my a**?

NO. It has historical precedence.

The Knicks recently gave up an astonishing 51 point quarter to the Lakers (i.e. became a national embarrassment). 

They won and covered against the Kings the very next game in a game I posted.

The Lakers were torn apart by their little sister team (now a big brother), to the Clippers by 48, in the worst loss in franchise history (i.e. became a national embarrassment).

They covered in the altitude the very next night in Denver (a tall order on a back to back to win it) but lost by 8, and then after a few days rest, beat the mighty Thunder in a game I posted.

Therefore, the Law of National Embarrassment can be applied to terrible teams and this is one of those times.

Therefore 2. is established and the Pistons will not tank this game.

One more thing and this is very important.

The Pistons now have a FOUR GAME CUSHION between them and the Cavs (who might just keep on winning) which is the difference between the eighth (keep the pick) and the ninth spot (lose the pick). SO THEY CAN SPARE A WIN AGAINST THE BUCKS.

By the way, that pick is a protected number one next year and unprotected in 2016 so they will almost certainly lose the pick next year...but not this year.

3. Establish why the Bucks are not ready to quit tanking this one game against the Pistons.

Oh the Bucks are not going to win this game folks. The tanking on the Bucks end is FAR from done.

The key here is this: The Bucks only have a TWO game cushion to spare between them and the Sixers (14 wins vs. 16 wins).

BUT you say, the Bucks just beat the Lakers. Why not beat the Pistons?

Since January 1st, a date where you really start thinking about the June draft, the Bucks have gone 7-35.

And look who they beat:

The Lakers (who were shorthanded, full of injuries, without Gasol and Kaman actually missed his flight and was rushed into the game. The whole Laker team was in disarray. Yes, Kaman matters big time when Robert Sacre is your only starting center).

Orlando at home twice (a team that absolutely refuses to win on the road). Oh by the way, Orlando has 4 - 34 on the road. We faded them taking the Lakers and got paid last Sunday. The second worst road team? The Bucks at 5-31. They are on the road here. Nice!

Jazz (tanking team - Richard Jefferson starts for this team folks)

Philly (right after the trading deadline when they gutted the team)

The Knicks (who can lose to anyone on any night and even lost to Philly this year)

So those 6 games are against the bottom feeders.

But here comes the last one.

They beat the Pistons on January 22nd.

Yes, this is actually a revenge spot for the Pistons (not like the revenge matters much). But really, the Pistons might not only lose to a 14 win team that might get the #1 pick once, but twice. Has to sting a bit extra doesn't it. They won't let it happen.

Also, do you know who was the leading scorer in that game?

Caron Butler.

Yes, the very guy who dropped 30 to help the Bucks come back from down 13 late and win by 3, the Bucks bought out!

Not only that, Ilyasova will not be playing either (bad season but no slouch).

I'd want both tomorrow if I were a Bucks backer, first and foremost Caron.

But he's on the Thunder now because the Bucks.....simply didn't want him...

Do you want to back the Bucks after that?

No thanks.

Ya know the phrase about tolerating homophobia "It gets better"?

With the Bucks, the franchise motto is "It gets worse" because I'm not close to done here.

With a two game cushion, and one of your best players bought out, you have to try to keep losing. How do you do that?

Well the tanking has to be artful.

4. Explain the "Art of the Tank" and why it still applies to the Bucks.

As I said before, players do not want to tank per se.

So the tanking has to be done by 3 groups:

Management

The coaches

The team physician

Well management has done its part assembling a ragtag roster and buying out what might be their best player.

Coaching?

Guys, I have no idea what Larry Drew is doing as the head coach of this team. When he started Antetokounmpo for a stretch this year, my jaw hit the floor. The kid is talented but so incredibly raw, he belongs on a college floor, not an NBA floor. It was like a 4 on 5 when he started games. 

He is no longer starting but who is starting in his place? Jeff Adrien. If you have no idea who he is, don't worry, he won't be in the NBA much longer. Who else is now starting? ZaZa Pachulia. Maybe 2008 and the Hawks was a good place from him to start, but he is on the way out of this league, if he shouldn't be already.

The one serviceable starter the Bucks have is Brandon Knight who can drive, slash and score so I'll give them that at least.

So the coach, although he says the right things, is the least desirable coach in the NBA and this team has, outside of the Sixers after the trading deadline, the least desirable roster (the Bucks was worse before the deadline).

Finally we get to the team physician. How does this work to tank while making it a work of art?

Declare players out whether injured or not.

Well lo and behold, right before the game we want the Pistons we get a rash of injuries. Coincidence??? I think so. We know what the medical staff is doing for the home stretch:

OJ Mayo - Doubtful vs. Pistons with a sprained ankle

Nate Wolters - out for season with a fractured hand

Larry Sanders - out for season with orbital bone fracture

Ersan Ilyasova - 'DISCOMFORT' in his right ankle

Isn't that great? In a span of FOUR DAYS we get two legitimate injuries (Wolters and Sanders) and two very questionable ones (Ersan and Mayo).

Those 4 guys are no pushovers on a very bad team! 

Have we not established management, coaching and the medical staff are all involved in continuing to tank?

We have.

Onto the 5th and 6th ring of hell...

5. Explain why the Pistons will win straight up.

6. Explain why the Pistons will cover the spread.

Given the 4 bullets above do I need to say more?

Yes? Ok I will.

The Bucks are the perfect team for the Pistons here.

I love the 'served on a silver platter' analogy and the Bucks are the main course.

Why are the Bucks so juicy?

Well given I have capped the shi+ teams this year, I have unique insight others do not.

Let's see who the Bucks have lost to and how they have lost.

Do you remember the dreaded Knicks noon start times? Of course you do.

Earlier this year, at noon, the Knicks were 0-4 SU and 0-4 ATS losing by an average of 23 ppg.

Then they played the Bucks at noon. The Bucks lost by NINETEEN as 10 point dogs. Wow. To the Knicks....at noon...

In the Knicks very worst and most vulnerable spot, the Bucks were the suckers that day.

How about the Kings? Well I've capped them a couple of times this year and they are also shi+.

After they beat the BUCKS handily on 3/5 by 14 and easily covering, the Kings went into a woeful stretch where they have gone 3-9.

Who were those 3 wins against?

The Sixers (mired in a 26 game losing streak)

The Wizards (on a miracle late comeback where Wall missed not one but two free throws to ice it)

and finally,

yes, the Bucks again.

The books had no problem making the terrible Kings spot the Bucks NINE, yes NINE at home.

What did the Kings do to them? They won by 17.

I know you know how tough it is to bet on the Kings. I know you know how bad they are. BY FAR, the Kings two most impressive wins have come against the Bucks. The Kings are even 1-1 vs. the Sixers!

So we have the Knicks at noon winning by 19 and the Kings, who at times look like they can't beat anyone, even a d-league team, blowing out and covering against the Bucks not once but twice.

And now the Pistons must lay 6.

6 is NO JOKE for this Detroit team.

Folks, given the above write-up, 6 is a BARGAIN BASEMENT PRICE TO PAY.

DO NOT worry about the public, sharp or squares, the Pistons are going to win this game and it should be by 10+. 

There comes a time when the losing stops.

There comes a time when a franchise has been so irreversibly stained, that the players won't stand for losing anymore and NOTHING, management, coaches and medical staff can do to stop you will prevent you from winning.

And when you win, when you erase the National Embarrassment you've become, you do it in a big way on your home floor against weak prey.

The Sixers just went through exactly this.

All the conditions are here. But the win is here and the spread is quite reasonable, even for this lowly Piston team.

We have two more rings of hell to travel my friends.

7. Make a pick on the Pistons with confidence.

8 Get paid by Vegas for our pick.

It is time. The Pistons are here. The Bucks are here. We are here.

IN CAPPING HELL...

But there will be no burning money bags on our end. With a spread of 6, Vegas will be turned into an inferno with its own hand.

THE PICK STRAIGHT FROM HELL:

PISTONS -6 OVER BUCKS