What types of questions do you ask your financial planner?

I've never trusted anybody with my money and Madolf and the FRM scam here in NH are proof positive of that. My way of investing is simple.....have the money and then look for a real estate steal, preferably waterfront property and/or ski area.
I've done very well picking and choosing and I rent them out to friends and friends of friends for a short amount to cover my taxes and normal expenses and make a profit.
I never have issues with anybody because they know they're getting a great deal and they come back every year. Some are in the construction/building profession and they also help me out with remodels/updates etc. So its a win win for everybody. I can easily make double my investment if I sold any of my properties but I don't want to sell yet.
With that being said its all starting to become a job!! Unless I see an absolute steal I'm really not looking to buy any more real estate. I debated about buying houses, rehabbing them, flipping or renting them out but the State of NH changed some of their laws and houses built before a certain date can become a major headache so I'm looking for other options.
If you look at my avatar you'll notice I just made a score. Its the actual ticket from this past Tuesday. Anyway, I'm looking to invest 50, 100, or 150k but I'm quite apprehensive because all the horror stories I've been hearing.
What kind of questions should I be asking a financial planner to determine if he/she is on the up and up. Should I say that doing business with me is a privilege and if you f me I'll hunt you down!! What type of return is average return on my money? I'm not looking to do business with anybody outside of NH just in case I have to hunt them down. 
Just looking for some info from you financial people
I'll probably be back later today or tomorrow.
Thanks Chilito

Congrats.

Did you do quick picks?

Have you done any research on your own? I'd look at it as an interview process if you sit down with one and you should know rather quickly if you feel comfortable.  I'd like to know the planners track record, but I would research on my own, and not rush the process.

Buy index funds.  You don't need a damn planner.