Posted:
#26
"A stitch in time saves nine"
Change to: "Who knows how to sew? Just buy a new shirt on Amazon"
"The early bird catches the worm"
Change to: "No need to get up early, the mail with my welfare check doesn't come until 2:00"
"A bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush"
Change to: "But, that 2 in the bush parlay is a LOCK!!!! I've got inside information!!!"
"A chain is only as strong as it's weakest link"
Change to: "Those other links better be doing double-duty, I'm binge watching Game Of Thrones!!!!"
"A journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step"
Change to: "Do I use Uber or Lyft?"
"A miss is as good as a mile"
Change to: "Where's my participation trophy?!?!?!" 
"A picture says 1,000 words"
Change to: "Selfies!!!!!" 
"A poor workman always blames his tools"
Change to "Work? Tools? What's that?"
"A watched pot never boils"
Change to: "Hello Doordash, pick me up some Del Taco"
And Lastly:
"A good man is hard to find"
**NO CHANGE**
"A fool and his money are soon parted"
**NO CHANGE**
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