How can I get out of jury duty?!

I anticipate some wise ass remarks, but if you guys have any actual advice it will be appreciated. I def' have to show up Monday for the initial process. Any thoughts?!

I got outta jury duty by having my buddy (who is a physician) sign off to the fact that I have health problems resulting in my inability to serve. If you're  unable to pull this off, and are forced to show up, you will be asked a number of questions by the prosecution/defense. You will also know what type of case you will be sitting on. When answering the preliminary questions, tailor your answers in a way which would seem prejudical toward the case, and the defendant. How you answer certain questions will depend whether or not you get picked for the trial.

You could pull a '' Larry David ''   

Tell the judge you'll make a great juror, as you can spot guilty people just by looking at them.

Claim temporary insanity.  Works in court all the time. 

what do you do for work?

 certain professions are not wanted in a jury, especially if they act in a way that affirms the stereotype that is a liability...

If you want to get out of jury duty quick  just tell them your a racist.

Get a criminal record

Tell em you already read about the case in the paper, so your mind is made up.

You never fill the form out and mial it in....problem solved

since it sounds like you already mailed it in....when you get there and its about a robbery, you say i have been robbed a bunch of time and hate robbers
the defense attny with say they don't want you on the jury since you won't be impartial

say u never got in mail if something comes up..

I skipped it once.  They were pissed off and threatened me.  I told the guy on the phone that I would make it up, a few days later they just blew me off and said fuck it.  I never had to show up for anything and never got in trouble. 

when the defendant walks into the room just say "oh is the f'n  (fill in race or ethnicity here) thats on trial?" really loudly

If you were not served in person, just don't go. 

Schwartz is right. Just tailor your questions so that the attorney's don't want you to be a juror.

I have heard that saying you are racist, insane, etc. goes on your record. That way if you are ever stopped by police or someone pulls your criminal history (i.e. potential employer) there are notes stating that you told the US Court system under oath that you were racist.

It's too late for this one, but another good one is you send in a letter with the Jury Summons saying that it would be a financial hardship for you to be on a jury. Your employer does not pay for jury duty leave and that you make $1,000 a week and need $800 a week to live on (just throwing numbers out there) and being a juror would not allow you to afford your liabilities.

Bomb scare

show up drunk.

I agree with those who took the racist route. Unless you're black, just tell them you're racist. It's just like being best friends with the defendent...you have a reason to choose the side of someone.

I would advise not to do this.

related to anyone in law enforcement? or something in the criminal justice system?

Simply admit to being a contributing member to this website  

I'm assuming you're from Las Vegas. You need to call after 6:00 PM the night before the date on your summons. There is a very good chance your badge # will not be called and you don't have to go.

You have one chance to cancel, you needed to go online one week before and you didn't even need a legitimate excuse.

I got chosen for some boring ass case last year. It lasted for 2 weeks. They pay you 40 bucks a day at the end of the trial. Plus my employer had to pay me as well. After a couple of days, once you get used to the parking, it really isn't bad at all.

I kind of missed it once I went back to work.

The lawyer's won't pick you if you say that their client should get the maximum jail time allowed...

Carry a clear jar filled with cat feces and snack on it throughout the proceedings...