All Forums | General Discussion

Father's rights to see their children

...
Participants:
Search model icon
Views: 2720
Posts: 59
 
Veteran
Participation Meter
Joined: Jan, 2009
Posts: 2235
Posted: #26
Quote Originally Posted by ironlionzion722:

Quote Originally Posted by Peters821:



She is unemployed.  She tells the Court, she has no money to live in California.  So she must go to live with her mom in New York.  I talked to a bunch of attorneys.  They all said, I have no shot. 

I am emotionally destroyed by all this.  I get extremely depressed over this.  I have constant nightmares.  I probably need some counseling. 

Quote]

I was there I hired a top of the line lawyer at first and he was the one who told me how one sided and fucked up the system is against dad, he still helped alot and I got a good deal over all and like I said visitation fri-mon every week and I get to claim her every year on my taxes til shes 18.  It wasnt regarding a move away order but just at first when I was getting counseled on my options if I wanted to go for full custody and so on.  As for the depression and nightmares moving on with your personal life while you fight the battle will help.  Go back to enjoying the things you used to do before you ever got married cuz we all know some of those things went by the boards when you got married.  Life has so much more potential when your not tied down to an old ball and chain.  Also start dating again or at least go get laid a bunch of times, its nice going from thinking you'll only bang one woman the rest of your life to getting a bunch

You have your daughter half of the week and get to claim her every year. How did you not win again? You pay 600 a month in child support don't get me wrong that is kind of shitty when you have her half the time, but if your present gfs mom got you fired you can cut that in half I'm sure.

 
Prospect
Participation Meter
Joined: Feb, 2012
Posts: 36
Posted: #27
Quote Originally Posted by Messier-11:

i'd probably commit a serious crime and be put behind bars for many years if i was ever put in this type of situation. Sure, people get divorced all the time and I understand that. But, if my ex wife that I shared a kid with ever made up shit so I could not see my child i would go bananas. What kind of a person would do that? I'm not a violent person by nature so I'd probably plant drugs or something incriminating to get custody like another person mentioned. If that didn't work I'd probably say fuck it and do something very regrettable. 



I am surprised more fathers don't act of violently when this happens.  I been fucked so much in the process, I am numb to it.  Now, I expect the Judge to believe the lies over the truth. 

I just don't understand these Judges.  I am a way more credible person than my ex.  Look at my record.  Look at hers.  It's not that difficult to see who is telling the truth. 

After the Judge's ruling, I told him in a normal tone, he just didn't understand and that she was lying.  He then raised his voice at me, basically saying I am acting inappropriately and that was his ruling.  My attorney told me, never to do that again. 
 
Prospect
Participation Meter
Joined: Feb, 2012
Posts: 36
Posted: #28
Quote Originally Posted by ironlionzion722:

Quote Originally Posted by Peters821:



She is unemployed.  She tells the Court, she has no money to live in California.  So she must go to live with her mom in New York.  I talked to a bunch of attorneys.  They all said, I have no shot. 

I am emotionally destroyed by all this.  I get extremely depressed over this.  I have constant nightmares.  I probably need some counseling. 

Quote]

I was there I hired a top of the line lawyer at first and he was the one who told me how one sided and fucked up the system is against dad, he still helped alot and I got a good deal over all and like I said visitation fri-mon every week and I get to claim her every year on my taxes til shes 18.  It wasnt regarding a move away order but just at first when I was getting counseled on my options if I wanted to go for full custody and so on.  As for the depression and nightmares moving on with your personal life while you fight the battle will help.  Go back to enjoying the things you used to do before you ever got married cuz we all know some of those things went by the boards when you got married.  Life has so much more potential when your not tied down to an old ball and chain.  Also start dating again or at least go get laid a bunch of times, its nice going from thinking you'll only bang one woman the rest of your life to getting a bunch



Thanks for the advice.  I'm trying to keep my mind off it as best I can.  I try to hang out with my friends and have started working out at the gym.  You are right, one of the positives, is that I don't have to deal with her bs on a daily basis. 
 
Veteran
Participation Meter
Joined: Mar, 2008
Posts: 2474
Posted: #29
Like I said I don't feel like I lost I mean I took about 5,000 in credit card debt from our marriage and she has the "physical custody" status so there are certain advantages she gets so there are a lot of factors but my lawyer was good and we went in with a divorce and parenting agreement we had agreed upon prior to going to court that he had drafted and my ex was an idiot and signed off on it with that tax thing in it.  My whole point is just that it should start out as a fresh slate and the judge should look at all the circumstances without any pre determined conclusions and a lot of time they don't and if I had gone through the whole process without the agreement I couldve gotten way less or been fucked over all together.  Like I said I have money and so does my family so I didn't mind agreeing to pay 600 a month and taking the debt but some guys don't and its not fair.
 
Veteran
Participation Meter
Joined: Jan, 2009
Posts: 2235
Posted: #30

Quote Originally Posted by Peters821:



I am surprised more fathers don't act of violently when this happens.  I been fucked so much in the process, I am numb to it.  Now, I expect the Judge to believe the lies over the truth. 

I just don't understand these Judges.  I am a way more credible person than my ex.  Look at my record.  Look at hers.  It's not that difficult to see who is telling the truth. 

After the Judge's ruling, I told him in a normal tone, he just didn't understand and that she was lying.  He then raised his voice at me, basically saying I am acting inappropriately and that was his ruling.  My attorney told me, never to do that again. 

There is always someone that gets fucked in the process. It's not a perfect system as I'm sure it would have been easier for you to just kill her and be done with it, but prove them wrong and keep fighting for what you want and what is better for your son. If you think NY law will favor you then take it up to court there, Cali obviously fucked you over so try another system.

 
Veteran
Participation Meter
Joined: Mar, 2008
Posts: 2474
Posted: #31
I feel for you tho Peters cuz the whole move away thing is huge and I'm fortunate enough to not have to worry about that.  All I can say is hang in there tho bro like Bill said as your kid gets older they'll have more direct input into who, where and when they want to go
 
Prospect
Participation Meter
Joined: Sep, 2009
Posts: 111
Posted: #32
In most cases, if a woman tells the judge the sky is green and you say that it's blue.. he'll believe the female. No witnesses or nothing needed.

My coworker was served with a court order for child support. He didn't even know the girl was pregnant when they split up. All he knew was that she had gotten married. Thanks to the child support order, he was able to get a DNA test. Turns out, the boy was his. Unfortunately, his son is now 11 and they haven't met yet (at least not to my knowledge).

He wondered if the boy is calling her husband - dad. etc.. etc..

Shyt's crazy. We don't talk about it much, but when it happened, he was in shock.
 
All-Star
Participation Meter
Joined: Dec, 2007
Posts: 10988
Posted: #33
I dont understand the whole "planting drugs" angle. What are you going to do? Plant drugs where? In your ex's flower pot? In her mailbox? Under her doormat? In her purse?

Ok then lets say you do plant the drugs in her flower pot, or in her mailbox, or actually on her person which would be the best as she would be in possession of it.

Then what? Call 911 tell them to go to 222 Mockingbird Lane and there are drugs hidden underneath a flowerpot? Or tell them there are drugs in the mailbox? Dont you think you would look suspicious? Her prints would not be on the drugs obviously. And there is a custody battle going on? Good luck with that one. 
 
Legend
Participation Meter
Joined: May, 2003
Posts: 71024
Posted: #34

I'm not a parent but I do have a single mother lady friend with a daughter that is precious. She and the father don't quite have a good relationship and she has custody of the 3 year old girl.

I make absolutely CERTAIN that she does not interfere with his right to visit her anytime he wants and be a good father.

Feel for you guys that are denied rights to your child. That is cruel, insensitive and very sad. I would visit my child until the police said hands behind your back. Good luck w/this situation - hope it works out.

 
Prospect
Participation Meter
Joined: Apr, 2012
Posts: 3
Posted: #35

Quote Originally Posted by ironlionzion722:

I have no problem paying child support, I pay 150 a week for one child and I've never been in arrears.  I'm more refering to the fact that unless the mother has a drug or alcohol problem or is suicidal they automatically get physical custody(before a bunch of people say I'm wrong, although shit happens in certain circumstances, thats basically what my lawyer said).  It doesn't matter that my daughter spent her whole life in my house around my family and so on prior to the split, or that she was familiar or comfortable.  Our break up was mutual but she moved 90 miles  and I had to battle to get every weekend visitation, not every other.  Its crazy to go from spending every day, tucking in, waking up to a few days every week if your lucky. 

This shit is hard. if you miss tucking in your daughter and being a more permanent fixture in her life can you and the ex work out your problems? Go to some kind of counceling? My daughters mother and I worked out our differences for the sake our little girl. We still argue here and there, but who doesnt? There is no comparing visitation with living with each other. Visitation is rough.

 
Prospect
Participation Meter
Joined: Apr, 2012
Posts: 3
Posted: #36

Quote Originally Posted by Peters821:



Thanks for the advice.  I'm trying to keep my mind off it as best I can.  I try to hang out with my friends and have started working out at the gym.  You are right, one of the positives, is that I don't have to deal with her bs on a daily basis. 

Sounds like you need to find yourself a new girlfriend to take your mind off things and better manage the lonliness

 
Banned
Participation Meter
Joined: Aug, 2011
Posts: 1406
Posted: #37
god i love covers, puts a smile on my face when I lose 
 
Veteran
Participation Meter
Joined: Mar, 2008
Posts: 2474
Posted: #38
Quote Originally Posted by MoneyLinePlus:

This shit is hard. if you miss tucking in your daughter and being a more permanent fixture in her life can you and the ex work out your problems? Go to some kind of counceling? My daughters mother and I worked out our differences for the sake our little girl. We still argue here and there, but who doesnt? There is no comparing visitation with living with each other. Visitation is rough.

Nah believe me man I tried she just wasn't interested in making it work and therefore neither was I.  In the long run it's for the best and I couldn't be happier with my new girl and someday when my daughter can offer the court  more input I'm confident she'll choose me.

 
Veteran
Participation Meter
Joined: Mar, 2008
Posts: 2474
Posted: #39
One other tough thing is there are times where I could pursue things and I don't because I don't what my daughter to be traumatized or scared.  I mean I could called the police on more then a few occasions and show them the parenting agreement and get my visitation but I don't want my daughter to experience the stress.  It's always important IMO for a kid to feel secure.  So I log it in my journal and then when we go to court and my daughter isn't present i'll show all the times and hopefully it'll help my case.
 
Veteran
Participation Meter
Joined: Mar, 2008
Posts: 2474
Posted: #40
honestly I'm a firm believer in the saying "the best revenge is living well", so i feel its important not to get caught up in all the little things and just try to make my daughter feel as safe and secure as possible.  Ik she doesn't want to hear bad things about her mother so I NEVER say them in front of her.  She'll look back when she gets older and remember it, I believe, and make up her own mind, and my ex aint worth my time.
 
Captain
Participation Meter
Joined: Jan, 2004
Posts: 5801
Posted: #41
I'm positive that there is more to your stories that you aren't telling us about.  

That being said if someone restricted my right to see my son I'd be devastated.  
 
Veteran
Participation Meter
Joined: Mar, 2008
Posts: 2474
Posted: #42
Quote Originally Posted by LeafsNeedD:

I'm positive that there is more to your stories that you aren't telling us about.  

That being said if someone restricted my right to see my son I'd be devastated.  

I agree in some instances but you'd be surprised man the system is screwed up and very biased

 

 

 
Veteran
Participation Meter
Joined: Mar, 2008
Posts: 2474
Posted: #43
however if you get no visitation whatsoever then there is more to the story and you prob either have a drug/alcohol problem or violent abusive past because courts don't deny visitation completely.  I just hate how you can go from seeing your kid everyday, to the standard every other weekend which to me wasn't gonna be nearly enough but court system feels thats ok.  It doesn't matter why the mother breaks up with you either.  Mine was a mutual thing but I mean a dude at my work, his wife just met another guy, he caught her cheating and confronted her and because he wouldnt let it continue, she just took their two kids and moved in with the new dude, and his three kids, and there wasnt anything he could do.  It didn't matter that she cheated or that the kids had always lived at the family house or anything.  Just cuz she was the mother the court allowed her to just take the kids and move into the bf's house and all he got was every other weekend
 
Prospect
Participation Meter
Joined: Feb, 2012
Posts: 36
Posted: #44
Quote Originally Posted by LeafsNeedD:

I'm positive that there is more to your stories that you aren't telling us about.  

That being said if someone restricted my right to see my son I'd be devastated.  


You are right.  I have only told you 5% of the evil things she has done.  The stories I have will make you cry or start screaming for revenge.  Those are the reactions I get from others.   My ex knows the child custody game and plays it perfectly.  All my attorneys have said they have never seen a case like this. 

If you think I did something harmful to my case, then you are wrong.  I never abused her.  I am a good father to my son.  I  tried my best to get along with her. 

Holidays such as Easter used to be really tough for me.  As time goes by, I just have to accept it or let it eat me away.  Even with trying to accept it, I still cry everyday.  Life is not fair sometimes.  I will let God handle it.  This has made me closer to God. 
 
Veteran
Participation Meter
Joined: Mar, 2008
Posts: 2474
Posted: #45

like i said the best revenge is liveing well brother and I hope it works out for you

 

 
Legend
Participation Meter
Joined: Nov, 2007
Posts: 35430
Posted: #46
Quote Originally Posted by ironlionzion722:

my girlfriend as we speak is 19 it is no joke my friend.  she is great with my daughter and is the 2nd best thing that ever happened to me.  I love her to death and one of the main reasons is she doesnt have that jaded, miserable, negative outlook on life my ex had that alot of women get as they get older and have kids and realize their looks don't last forever.  we are in the process of moving in together.  you may feel different but IMO he age doesnt mean I'm a bad person or bad father.  I'm only 28 so it's not that big of a deal



You do realize that maybe the reason your 19 year old girlfriend isn't like that yet is because.... she hasn't gone through that aging process yet?
 
Banned
Participation Meter
Joined: Sep, 2006
Posts: 28221
Posted: #47
Quote Originally Posted by kaponofor3:



You do realize that maybe the reason your 19 year old girlfriend isn't like that yet is because.... she hasn't gone through that aging process yet?

Ouch!
 
Prospect
Participation Meter
Joined: Apr, 2012
Posts: 7
Posted: #48
Quote Originally Posted by Peters821:



Thanks for the advice.  I'm trying to keep my mind off it as best I can.  I try to hang out with my friends and have started working out at the gym.  You are right, one of the positives, is that I don't have to deal with her bs on a daily basis. 


Yo! Whats up Covers? I bet you never seen this before, but I am going to put "Peters" on blast. I was enraged at reading all his lies and had to clear the air on this. I dont like lies to be spread. Its true, we are married and going through a divorce. Its true, there is a restraining order against him in place. I stopped having a romantic relationship with him due to problems we were having. However, what is not true is that I cheated on him or abused him. That is absolutely, unequivocally NOT true. Both of us have made mistakes, but who cares at this point who is right or wrong. I feel there is enough blame to go around. It would be a waste of our time to talk about right and wrong since nothing in the past can be changed. I cant change yesterday, I can only change tomorrow. That being said, what do we do about the here and now? I am okay with remaining married or getting a divorce. Its his call. Its not like I have someone on the side, so it can go either way to me. We have 2 kids (under the age of 5) so if it were up to me, we would stay married and seek counseling for our issues. I think if we could get along, it would be fantastic for the kids to have their father live with us. I mean who doesnt want that, right? I dont think people aspire to be divorced. If he doesnt want to do that, its his call. EITHER WAY I AM GAME FOR WHATEVER HE WANTS. I absolutely want him to be a part of our kids lives. I feel its ridiculous to have to go to court, when I am willing to mediate. I want to mediate. In fact, I will pay for all of it and he can pick the person. Or we can sit down at a Starbucks or something with a pen and paper and figure it out ourselves. This is a gambling website. I am willing to gamble once I post this, you will hear not one more peep out of him. Its he who insists to only speak through attorneys, its he who insists to reject all offers of mediation. I should be the one complaning on here, not him. If he wants to have the kids 7 days a week or 1 day a week, his call. If he wants them 10 hours a day or 1 hour a day, again, HIS CALL. I am not contesting anything. I dont see what more I can offer him, that I havent already offered. I am baffled by all of this. Apparently, he values your opinions, hence why he posted his rants. I dont see why we have to go to court, if I am willing to settle. He may rebuttle my argument by saying I am lying or I cant be trusted. Well, lets get it legally written up. I am willing to pay him thousands of dollars, my own money--not his, to settle out of court. This is money I came in with prior to marrying him. I would rather have him take my money, than a lawyer whom I barely know. I am open minded, if you guys think I need to offer something else, let me know. I feel I am being fair. I just want to remain friends at the end of this, or at the very least, cordial. Guys, what do you think? Advise? Thanks for your help!

 
Legend
Participation Meter
Joined: May, 2003
Posts: 71024
Posted: #49
Quote Originally Posted by str8forward:



Yo! Whats up Covers? I bet you never seen this before, but I am going to put "Peters" on blast. I was enraged at reading all his lies and had to clear the air on this. I dont like lies to be spread. Its true, we are married and going through a divorce. Its true, there is a restraining order against him in place. I stopped having a romantic relationship with him due to problems we were having. However, what is not true is that I cheated on him or abused him. That is absolutely, unequivocally NOT true. Both of us have made mistakes, but who cares at this point who is right or wrong. I feel there is enough blame to go around. It would be a waste of our time to talk about right and wrong since nothing in the past can be changed. I cant change yesterday, I can only change tomorrow. That being said, what do we do about the here and now? I am okay with remaining married or getting a divorce. Its his call. Its not like I have someone on the side, so it can go either way to me. We have 2 kids (under the age of 5) so if it were up to me, we would stay married and seek counseling for our issues. I think if we could get along, it would be fantastic for the kids to have their father live with us. I mean who doesnt want that, right? I dont think people aspire to be divorced. If he doesnt want to do that, its his call. EITHER WAY I AM GAME FOR WHATEVER HE WANTS. I absolutely want him to be a part of our kids lives. I feel its ridiculous to have to go to court, when I am willing to mediate. I want to mediate. In fact, I will pay for all of it and he can pick the person. Or we can sit down at a Starbucks or something with a pen and paper and figure it out ourselves. This is a gambling website. I am willing to gamble once I post this, you will hear not one more peep out of him. Its he who insists to only speak through attorneys, its he who insists to reject all offers of mediation. I should be the one complaning on here, not him. If he wants to have the kids 7 days a week or 1 day a week, his call. If he wants them 10 hours a day or 1 hour a day, again, HIS CALL. I am not contesting anything. I dont see what more I can offer him, that I havent already offered. I am baffled by all of this. Apparently, he values your opinions, hence why he posted his rants. I dont see why we have to go to court, if I am willing to settle. He may rebuttle my argument by saying I am lying or I cant be trusted. Well, lets get it legally written up. I am willing to pay him thousands of dollars, my own money--not his, to settle out of court. This is money I came in with prior to marrying him. I would rather have him take my money, than a lawyer whom I barely know. I am open minded, if you guys think I need to offer something else, let me know. I feel I am being fair. I just want to remain friends at the end of this, or at the very least, cordial. Guys, what do you think? Advise? Thanks for your help!


I'm very impressed. Graceful and class approach toward the problem. I don't know you but you obviously have taken a great deal of time and thought writing these words which I personally consider believable. 

Sense a great deal of truth here. Hope you two work it out. She's being very reasonable.

 
 
Legend
Participation Meter
Joined: May, 2003
Posts: 71024
Posted: #50

...Futhermore, reads obviously that the two of you really care about each other but ran off track at some point and there's a little bit of chest pounding going on.

As the woman says, get together, yell, cry, accuse, laugh, apologize and find each other again under good circumstances in good manner. Of course with a professional that can allow a rational exchange of words.

Good plan young lady - you don't need any additions. Keep the family together - both of you. Courtroom is NOT a place anybody wants to be...ever.

Best of luck again you guys. Covers saves families and relationships.

All Forums | General Discussion
About Us
Contact Us
Careers
Our Team
Brand
Testimonials
Betting Guides
Sportsbook Reviews
Sports Betting News
Podcasts
Responsible Gaming
Betting Sites
Canada Betting Sites
Canada Casinos
Best Betting Apps
Contests
Streak Survivor
King of Covers
Office Pools
The Covers community has
810,221
lifetime members worldwide
Covers 30 Years Logo Established in 1995,
Covers is the world
leader in sports
betting information.
Site Map Help Privacy Terms of Service youtube logo facebook logo twitter logo instagram logo linkedin logo google news logo
Covers is verified safe by: Evalon Logo GPWA Logo GDPR Logo GeoTrust Logo Evalon Logo
Copyright © 1995 - 2026 CS Media Limited All Rights Reserved.

If you choose to make use of any information on this website including online sports betting services from any websites that may be featured on this website, we strongly recommend that you carefully check your local laws before doing so.It is your sole responsibility to understand your local laws and observe them strictly.Covers does not provide any advice or guidance as to the legality of online sports betting or other online gambling activities within your jurisdiction and you are responsible for complying with laws that are applicable to you in your relevant locality.Covers disclaims all liability associated with your use of this website and use of any information contained on it.As a condition of using this website, you agree to hold the owner of this website harmless from any claims arising from your use of any services on any third party website that may be featured by Covers.