Dead mortal lock of the year

PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES

 Should be easy winner, Milwaukee Brewers have clinched division and #3 seed, so they're going to celebrate pregame with some 24 suitcases of Old Milwaukee,  and Milwaukee's Best and Pabst Blue Ribbon 

You work for P. Diddy

You sound like you could be one of those Freak Offs they keep referring to

Have you ever performed a sexual act in which you were paid for and held at gunpoint and had your picture taken

You ever been a bad boy or affiliated with a bad boy

@ABooksNightmare