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A first date. A black tie social. A poker tournament. Sex.
All of these events require a certain amount of class, panache and grace. They are packed full of unwritten rules and all have the potential to be just as disastrous as successful. And next Sunday, a Super Bowl party represents one of the biggest stages of the year.
Will you be guy who balances the ladies and play-by-play and leaves with a few new digits in his bank account and phone? Or will you be the douche bag who clears out the snack trays and talks nonstop about how great his girlfriend is for letting him watch the big game?
To help our readers keep their cool, check below to elbow up on etiquette and avoid our biggest Super Bowl faux pas.
Always bring a peace offering
If you are two cheap to buy a bag of chips and dip or spring for a six pack, then you simply aren’t fit to attend a Super Bowl party. It doesn’t have to be homemade humus, a party platter of subs or anything extravagant, it’s the thought -- and all the better if it’s one of your favorite snacks.
This point isn’t debatable, it’s just what a decent guest does. Step your game up.
Keep your mouth shut
This is going to be hard for many people to read, so you are going to want to be sure you are sitting down. No one cares who you bet on – and if you bet enough to make you legitimately concerned about the outcome and its effects on your mortgage, then you shouldn’t be watching this game in a room full of friends, family members and co-workers. It doesn’t matter what prop bets you had and if you ask one more time how many rushing yards James Starks has you are going to be banned from the room.
But there’s plenty more to keep your yap shut about. If you legitimately don’t care about the game don’t announce it with something dumb like “I’m only here for the commercials.” Unless you are some kind of sissy communist, this is the last competitive NFL game you will see for more than half of a calendar year.
Also, no one cares about whatever interesting fact or story you may have read in this week’s Parade – it’s the Super Bowl and it’s been two weeks since the conference championship games. Everyone is so sick of talking about this game that your details will be more painful than water boarding.
Lastly, keep your comments to yourself. Don’t try to be Joe Buck or give me some insight into the Packers zone-blitz schemes. If we wanted commentary we would buy the director’s cut. It’s OK to mix in a joke or comment, but too much is forced and turns you into a know-it-all jerk who isn’t getting asked back. Just like Fireman Ed.
Ride the Silver Bullet
It’s the Super Bowl – drink beer. Don’t be the guy who makes his buddy mix him a mojito on a quick beer run into the kitchen during a commercial. Don’t be the guy who makes his host get out a blender or puts fruit in his drink. Again, it’s the last pro football game of relevance for around six months - you really want to commemorate that with something frozen and a mini-umbrella?
Also don’t forget – everyone has to work tomorrow, so we don’t need to hear “man, I am soooo buzzed,” or “wow, I am going to be totally hurting at work tomorrow.” Everyone will. You aren’t special. And no matter what happens, don’t get this drunk.
Make a ladies room
We won’t be sexist, but have a secondary room set up – maybe with the buffet or even to make the girls feel more comfortable, put a TV in the kitchen or where the chit-chat and hanging out can go on.
Not everyone at a Super Bowl party wants to be there, that’s understandable. But the last thing you need is a tight fourth-quarter rolling around and hearing “why does the yellow line on the field keep moving?” or “What team is wearing the dark uniforms again?”
This room also prevents any unnecessary channel surfing to appease non-fans and keeps hands away from the remote control, something only the host should touch under any circumstances. Even better, it keeps everyone else from having to sit through that one lame guy running bad game on a girl out of his league while everyone is watching the game. Think of the room as community service to help prevent that tragedy.
Don’t be a Benedict Arnold
When the Packers and Steelers kickoff next Sunday evening, you must pick a side – and it will be dictated by the party you are going to.
If you are going to the house of someone who named their kids “Franco” and “Terry,” don’t walk in and announce you have a G on the Packers and you are just “rooting for them to cover.” Come the fourth quarter, a living room full of fans wearing black and gold will be ready to stuff you into the sofa bed.
It goes the same way if you are a Steelers fan. Don’t saunter into a party of a Cheesehead and talk about how Roethlisberger’s experience makes him much better than Rodgers. And for God’s sake, don’t wear that team’s jersey. And if the Packers happen to win, don’t pretend to be happy for the other side and say stuff like “I remember how good it felt when we won two years ago” or “It’s really worth the wait.” You aren’t happy. Other fans don’t care.
It doesn’t even matter if you have money on Green Bay or Pittsburgh, if you are at a party for one team, you never root for the other.
Stay off the bandwagon
If you aren’t a fan of the Packers or Steelers, you shouldn’t be wearing a jersey to your Super Bowl party.
From Ohio and a big Big Ben fan? Great, just don’t think that gives you liberty to high-five everyone and act like you guys go way back. Went to the same high school as Greg Jennings? That doesn’t make it OK to wear your high school football jersey to the party and pull for the Green Bay.
If you aren’t a fan you won’t become one for just this game. Enjoy it, place a wager or two and have fun – just don’t make the game all about you. If the NFL is going to crown a champion, you better be ready to party like one.
Any other party fouls football fans should avoid next weekend?
All of these events require a certain amount of class, panache and grace. They are packed full of unwritten rules and all have the potential to be just as disastrous as successful. And next Sunday, a Super Bowl party represents one of the biggest stages of the year.
Will you be guy who balances the ladies and play-by-play and leaves with a few new digits in his bank account and phone? Or will you be the douche bag who clears out the snack trays and talks nonstop about how great his girlfriend is for letting him watch the big game?
To help our readers keep their cool, check below to elbow up on etiquette and avoid our biggest Super Bowl faux pas.
Always bring a peace offering
If you are two cheap to buy a bag of chips and dip or spring for a six pack, then you simply aren’t fit to attend a Super Bowl party. It doesn’t have to be homemade humus, a party platter of subs or anything extravagant, it’s the thought -- and all the better if it’s one of your favorite snacks.
This point isn’t debatable, it’s just what a decent guest does. Step your game up.
Keep your mouth shut
This is going to be hard for many people to read, so you are going to want to be sure you are sitting down. No one cares who you bet on – and if you bet enough to make you legitimately concerned about the outcome and its effects on your mortgage, then you shouldn’t be watching this game in a room full of friends, family members and co-workers. It doesn’t matter what prop bets you had and if you ask one more time how many rushing yards James Starks has you are going to be banned from the room.
But there’s plenty more to keep your yap shut about. If you legitimately don’t care about the game don’t announce it with something dumb like “I’m only here for the commercials.” Unless you are some kind of sissy communist, this is the last competitive NFL game you will see for more than half of a calendar year.
Also, no one cares about whatever interesting fact or story you may have read in this week’s Parade – it’s the Super Bowl and it’s been two weeks since the conference championship games. Everyone is so sick of talking about this game that your details will be more painful than water boarding.
Lastly, keep your comments to yourself. Don’t try to be Joe Buck or give me some insight into the Packers zone-blitz schemes. If we wanted commentary we would buy the director’s cut. It’s OK to mix in a joke or comment, but too much is forced and turns you into a know-it-all jerk who isn’t getting asked back. Just like Fireman Ed.
Ride the Silver Bullet
It’s the Super Bowl – drink beer. Don’t be the guy who makes his buddy mix him a mojito on a quick beer run into the kitchen during a commercial. Don’t be the guy who makes his host get out a blender or puts fruit in his drink. Again, it’s the last pro football game of relevance for around six months - you really want to commemorate that with something frozen and a mini-umbrella?
Also don’t forget – everyone has to work tomorrow, so we don’t need to hear “man, I am soooo buzzed,” or “wow, I am going to be totally hurting at work tomorrow.” Everyone will. You aren’t special. And no matter what happens, don’t get this drunk.
Make a ladies room
We won’t be sexist, but have a secondary room set up – maybe with the buffet or even to make the girls feel more comfortable, put a TV in the kitchen or where the chit-chat and hanging out can go on.
Not everyone at a Super Bowl party wants to be there, that’s understandable. But the last thing you need is a tight fourth-quarter rolling around and hearing “why does the yellow line on the field keep moving?” or “What team is wearing the dark uniforms again?”
This room also prevents any unnecessary channel surfing to appease non-fans and keeps hands away from the remote control, something only the host should touch under any circumstances. Even better, it keeps everyone else from having to sit through that one lame guy running bad game on a girl out of his league while everyone is watching the game. Think of the room as community service to help prevent that tragedy.
Don’t be a Benedict Arnold
When the Packers and Steelers kickoff next Sunday evening, you must pick a side – and it will be dictated by the party you are going to.
If you are going to the house of someone who named their kids “Franco” and “Terry,” don’t walk in and announce you have a G on the Packers and you are just “rooting for them to cover.” Come the fourth quarter, a living room full of fans wearing black and gold will be ready to stuff you into the sofa bed.
It goes the same way if you are a Steelers fan. Don’t saunter into a party of a Cheesehead and talk about how Roethlisberger’s experience makes him much better than Rodgers. And for God’s sake, don’t wear that team’s jersey. And if the Packers happen to win, don’t pretend to be happy for the other side and say stuff like “I remember how good it felt when we won two years ago” or “It’s really worth the wait.” You aren’t happy. Other fans don’t care.
It doesn’t even matter if you have money on Green Bay or Pittsburgh, if you are at a party for one team, you never root for the other.
Stay off the bandwagon
If you aren’t a fan of the Packers or Steelers, you shouldn’t be wearing a jersey to your Super Bowl party.
From Ohio and a big Big Ben fan? Great, just don’t think that gives you liberty to high-five everyone and act like you guys go way back. Went to the same high school as Greg Jennings? That doesn’t make it OK to wear your high school football jersey to the party and pull for the Green Bay.
If you aren’t a fan you won’t become one for just this game. Enjoy it, place a wager or two and have fun – just don’t make the game all about you. If the NFL is going to crown a champion, you better be ready to party like one.
Any other party fouls football fans should avoid next weekend?
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