Meatless Whopper

Last week I decided I'd make a run over to the nearest Burger King at lunch for a Whopper because it was 'Whopper Wednesday' at the local BK.  Being the nice co-worker I am decided to see if anybody else wanted anything.  Here's how the general converation went (my office is pretty cool so the profanity that follows is legit):

 

Me: I'm going to Burger King for Whopper Wednesday, does anybody want to come or want me to pick something up?

Co-Worker #1: Yeah, I'll take a Whopper, a Veggie Whopper with Cheese.

Me: What the fuck?  Are you serious a VEGGIE Whopper?

Co-Worker #1: Yeah, I need to watch what I eat.

Me: ... *blank stare*

Co-Worker #2: Count me in as well, a Veggie Whopper with Cheese Combo with Fries and a Diet Pop.

Me: Do you want a Toy with that?  Christ, what the hell is wrong with you guys.

* general squable back and forth ensues about who's a real man *

 

Anyways, I head over to Burger King.  Thankfully I beat a huge lineup of people who looked like they just rolled off a tour bus for fat camp.  I head up to the counter where both assistant managers are working the cash:

 

Me: I've got two seperate orders.  The first is two Whoppers with Cheese.

Assistant Manager #1: Ok, go ahead with your next order.

Me: I need a Whopper with Cheese without Meat and a Whopper Combo with Cheese without Meat and a Diet Pop.

Assistant Manager #1: ... *blank stare* ok.

Me: Hey, it's not for me, I was just sent to pick it up.

 

The Assistant Manager #1 ignores my last comment, takes my money and slides my slips over to Assistant Manager #2.

 

Assistant Manager #2: *dumbfounded* What does this order mean?

Assistant Manager #1: *rolls eyes* No meat on the Whopper's so I had to ring them in this way.

 

At this point I just smiled because I was starting to find the whole thing quite funny.  Regardless, I get all the food and shuttle it back to the office and pass the bag and a drink to Co-Worker #2:

 

Co-Worker #2: What's this?

Me: What do you mean?

Co-Worker #2: There is bag is missing something it's so light.

 

I thought but didn't say, 'of course you box, you ordered a Veggie Whopper'.  At this point Co-Worker #1 has come over as well.  The two of them start fishing through the bag like two puppies who just realized their owner split the kibbles and bits all over the kitchen floor.  Swearing something isn't right they open up their Whoppers:

 

Co-Worker #1: What they hell?  They forgot the patty!

Co-Worker #2: *stares blindly off into space like a kid who just figured out Santa isn't real*

Me: What did you expect?  You order a Veggie Whopper you box!

Co-Worker #1: What did you ask for?

Me: A Whopper without Meat... a Veggie Whopper.

Co-Worker #1: You idiot! Not Meatless. Veggie!

 

At this point it hit me like a wave... these guys wanted one of those uber-modern veggie patties made out of cardboard, glue and recycled kitty litter, not a bun with cheese and condiments.  At this point we all broke into laughter over the whole ordeal.

 

They ended up going back and getting Veggie Burgers because they were starving after they ate their salads in a bun.

 

------

 

I use to work at McDonald's in High-School but that was over 10 years ago.  When a customer said veggie, they meant no meat.  I explained that to my co-workers and they understood why I ordered what I did.

 

However, it turns out that there is no such thing as a 'Veggie Whopper' at BK, they have a Veggie Burger but it's not called a Whopper.

 

After the dust settled we've still yet to determine who's really to blame for the whole thing... a) me for ordering Whopper's without meat or b) them for ordering something that wasn't even on the menu.

 

What do you think?

their fault, its either veggie burger means fake meat or veggie whopper means hold the meat.

Your bad. Veggie burgers have been around for a long time. Even since you were at McD's.

no, he's right, veggie whoppers were around before veggie burgers, chicks with hairy armpits and peta stickers would wander into burger kings and order a veggie whopper consisting of a whopper bun with all the whopper fixins and cheese if they werent vegan.

 

these fruitcake coworkers asked for "veggie whoppers" and he brought back "veggie whoppers".

 

.............and I'd like a side of fryless fries with that, please!

These fuckers don't deserve to eat Burger King

what aboutn the fries cooked in pig grease?

I have ordered the Veggie Burger with lettuce tomato, onions, and mustard at BK before -it's been a few years ..

 

Large fries-no salt -cooked not in lard but in peanut oil..

 

and the diet coke ..

 

not too bad , but not totally healthy ..

Nice way to bring along the story.

 

 

If only some other Covers members were as smooth in their writing styles as yours is.......I guess that happens when you graduate and get a job though right? 

 

 

Most of these High School kids are still learing how to write. 

I don't usually post - but I had to for this one.  Meatless and Veggie are very different.  Your fault chmyer.  Very entertaining story.