Quote Originally Posted by cjlipe:
My lack of posting doesn't mean I'm not here. I read lots on covers and had to participate in this one. I hope it helps others.
My story:
I live 2000 miles from my parents. My mom was 69 and my dad is turning 72 Jan 20th. Last Sept 4th, a football Sunday I get out of bed put the coffee on and go turn on the big tv for the nfl preview show like every Sunday. (my wife doesn't complain about this)
The coffee isn't made yet when I get a phone call on my cell. Never a good thing. Either work or an emergency with someone, we all have been there. It's my older sister which never calls me. She's frantic, "mom is in the ambulance on the way to the hospital, I'm still over an hour away from her". She says she can't get a hold of my other sister. I tell her I'll try. We hang up. I felt that feeling you get when you know something is just not right. It took me several times to punch in the number for my other sister. I finally talk with my brother in law he says she is already on her way for the 45 min. drive. 5 minutes later she calls me, the e.r. nurse won't tell her anything. Just be careful getting here and as fast as possible. My feeling gets worse, we hang up with the agreement she will call me back with some status. I'm staring at the nfl network show with my wife sitting next to me asking me what did she say?, what did she say?, I in a comatose mood trying to comprehend the situation just give her a few words to satisfy. Phones rings, my younger sister is there and says, "Hey, well mom is gone". We both have silence. At that moment my life stopped for a moment. Hearing about injuries for the days games didn't matter any more, I started going through the stats in my head. How many days had it been since I talked to her, when was the last time I saw her and what did we talk about last. For the next few days I came up with some final stats. It had been about 7 weeks since I talked to her and 3 months since I saw her.
My dad is still living although he has alzheimers. He still remembers us kids, but not many others. My mom and dad had divorced after 47 years, he does not remember them being married.
My life changed on Sept. 4th. Work, sports, gambling and etc doesn't seem as important anymore. I am closer with my sisters. I was always close with my dad but I make sure I spend as much time as possible when I'm there even if I have to talk about the weather 15 times a day.
I'm sorry for this being so long. There are many of us that would rather have their "old parents" back. For all of you that are younger take a day off gambling every once in a while to spend time with your parents. Make your regrets as little as possible.
Im only 25, but think about this shit a lot. I havent seen my mother in, i dont even know, 8-10 years. Just talk to her on the phone for about 15 min maybe everyother week. Ive never been close with her, obviously, as she moved across the country when i was about 12. My father was around here, northeast, until about 2 years ago, he moved to TN. Havent seen anyone form my family in about a year. Not even out of hard feelings or anything, other than my brother, who i haven't seen in about 4 years, and have talked to about 5 times in that period.
Its sad to say, but i honestly don't think my life would be that affected if i got a call today telling me my mother had passed away. Even though i haven't seen my father in over a year, I still worry about him all the time. I would be devastated if something happened to him. Hes been having some health problem, nothing too serious, but getting an email saying, "i spent the day in the er yesterday having trouble breathing," just stops me in my tracks.
I lived with, and watched, both my grandparents as they deteriorated, and eventually died. My grandfather physically, and my grandmother mentally. Both of which are tough to handle. The dementia is one of the worst things ever, really sad, and equally frustrating. Very hard to not get angry with them.
The time will come for all of us though. Both to deal with it, and be at that stage in our lives. Life is a precious thing
This brings to mind another thought, and one of my favorites.
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