Just for those curious. Solid record thus far this year in picking ATS.
Vikings (-10) over RAMS
Crazy stat: The Vikings average more points (29.5) than St. Louis has
scored in all four games (24). And aren't we overdue for an Adrian
Peterson "I'm Going To Win You This Week Single-handedly" Fantasy Week?
They can't make this line high enough.
CHIEFS (+8) over Cowboys
Chiefs coach Todd Haley after last week's loss to the Giants: "We
finished the first quarter of the season 0-4. But that's over. That's
done. We are now 0-0 and Dallas is coming to town." Actually, you're
0-4. On the other hand, why does everyone think Dallas is good? What am
I missing?
Redskins (+3.5) over PANTHERS
"Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"
"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
Bucs (+15) over EAGLES
After last Friday's column, just enough USD grads sent me "Don't sleep
on Josh Johnson, that guy is gonna surprise everyone!" e-mails that I
regretted my Redskins pick last Sunday. Not only did the Bucs end up
covering, but Josh ended up making my Reverse Reggie Cleveland All-Star
Team (for athletes whose names/situations make you think they're white
when they're actually black). Big day for me and Josh. I thought we'd
keep it going. Also, this has "Moral Defeat" written all over it for
the Eagles.
Bengals (+8.5) over RAVENS
Four straight Bengals nail-biters and Gus Johnson announcing Week 5? Do I need to spell this out for you?
GIANTS (-15) over Raiders
Forgot one of my favorite rules last week: Never back a team with a
head coach who could get fired any day soon if and when he's arrested
for punching out an assistant coach. By the way, they need to make
"Zodiac 2" about all the fantasy owners that Darren McFadden murdered
these past two years. It's unbelievable. Not even a hint of a fun
moment. I would pick Rae Carruth before I picked Darren McFadden again.
Steelers (-10.5) over LIONS
It's always fun when someone gets benched as a lesson one week (in this
case, Rashard Mendenhall), then leaves a trail of butts the next week.
I like to know that dopey motivational ploys can still work for coaches
in this day and age. It makes me happy.
Browns (+6) over BILLS
One of my two Underdog Locks of the Week: Cleveland 24, Buffalo 13.
Hey, how 'bout some dude on the Browns named Massaquoi slapping up a
monster fantasy day in Week 4, followed by millions putting in a Week 5
waiver request without knowing how to spell his name, or even what his
first name is. Love when that happens. He should just drop his first
name and go by "Massaquoi." And by the way, when you're saying the
words, "Man, I hope I get Massaquoi" (like I did last night), and it's
Week 5, it's probably not a good sign for your fantasy year.
(By the way, I enjoyed the Dick Jauron era.)
NINERS (-2.5) over Falcons
Strangest line of the week. So strange that it makes me nervous. You
get 3 points for being at home. I believe San Francisco is slightly
better than Atlanta; at the very least, it's dead even. So why 2.5 and
not 3? I feel like Jimmy Conway is pointing me down a sidewalk telling
me, "Just a little further ... no no, keep going ..." My heart is
pounding. Let's just move on.
SEAHAWKS (pk) over Jags
Not ready to write off Seattle yet and not sold on the Hyphens.
BRONCOS (+3.5) over Patriots
Man, I hate going against old assistant coaches who know every single
bad thing about every guy on their old roster. Think of it this way:
Let's say you date a girl for two years. You break up. A few weeks
later, if you knew someone who was going on a date with her, couldn't
you tell that person every single thing good and bad about her? And if
you wanted to mentally destroy her, couldn't you prepare the new guy to
hone in on her nine weakest spots over that three hours? Stuff like,
"When she mentions her golden retriever, tell her that your aunt used
to breed goldens for a living and it's the most inbred dog. She's
really sensitive about that." You could break her down pretty easily,
right? Well ...
Texans (+5.5) over CARDS
The second "Underdog Lock of the Week," as well as the "Whichever Team
Wins Will Now Have To Be Taken Seriously As a Possible Playoff Team
That We All Know Won't End Up Doing Anything" Bowl. Texans 30, Cards 27.
Colts (-3.5) over TITANS
My favorite pick of the week for two reasons. First, Peyton Manning
seems especially juiced by this year's Colts team. I think it's partly
because he's happy to be healthy again (remember, he was coming off
knee surgery last year); partly because Tony Dungy is gone (so he has a
bigger leadership responsibility); and partly because he's fired up
about the young guys (Pierre Garcon, Donald Brown, etc.) and just likes
playing with them. There's a hop in his step and you can't tell me
differently. Second, the Titans stink. Time to stop giving them the
benefit of the doubt.
DOLPHINS (+1.5) over Jets
As much as I worry about the Jets' defense whipping up a batch of Henne
Parmigiana, here's the reality: This is a really good matchup for
Miami. You will see.
As for the Braylon Edwards trade, here was my gut reaction on Twitter: "Braylon Edwards is going to go over in NYC about as well as a 50-foot Dustin Pedroia statue." I stand by it, but the reaction from readers was better: A number of you pointed out the irony of Edwards getting shipped out of town two days after socking one of LeBron's friends, with the implication being, "Even the other Cleveland teams are trying to keep LeBron happy." And it's true. We are all witnesses.
LAST WEEK: 5-9
UNDERDOG LOCK: 2-2
SEASON: 39-23
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