Joke Time

bigger than his mother's, so he goes back to ask her why.
 
She tells her son, "The bigger they are, the sillier the lady is."
 
The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean
but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger
"things" than his dad does.

She replies, "The bigger they are, the dumber the man is"

Again satisfied with her answer, the boy goes back to the
ocean to play.
 
Shortly thereafter , the boy returns and promptly tells his
mother, "Daddy is talking to the silliest lady on the beach, and the more
he talks to her, the dumber he gets."

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

 The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a break even.

 But Grandpa's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told  me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand  dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it.'