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Your Favorite George Carlin Bit

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Captain
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Posted: #1
I think it's football vs. baseball, but I'm biased because I played football and hockey as a kid.  Never played baseball.

Guy is a genius.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmXacL0Uny0
 
Captain
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Posted: #2
No disrespect to anyone who played baseball or thinks it's a more of a complex sport.  Like I mentioned, I'm biased.  
 
Captain
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Posted: #3
Flying on the airlines

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdPy5Ikn7dw
 
Captain
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Posted: #4
That's a good one, hahahaha

I was raised Roman Catholic so I think this bit is on point.

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=george+carlin+10+commandments+broken+down
 
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Posted: #5
That's another good one Goose.

 
Prospect
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Posted: #6

A place for your stuff.

And the one on dogs- "Dogs have two time references, 1 minutes and forever - of you're gone for more than 15 minutes your dog thinks you're going to be gone forever sand that's why it' so glad to see you when you get home."

 

 
Captain
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Posted: #7
Quote Originally Posted by Coin Toss:

A place for your stuff.

And the one on dogs- "Dogs have two time references, 1 minutes and forever - of you're gone for more than 15 minutes your dog thinks you're going to be gone forever sand that's why it' so glad to see you when you get home."

 


I love dogs and it makes sense because it's so true.

Good "stuff" Coin.  I like that bit too man.  Classic

When you go on vacation, you have to bring at least 2 suitcases of stuff with you.


 
Captain
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Posted: #8
I forgot about this one.  To do this at his age at the time is great.

Modern Man

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkCR-w3AYOE

This is true poetry.  It would put any rapper to shame.
 
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Posted: #9
Telling it like it is.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sk-oAWH_W6c
 
Legend
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Posted: #10
#1

"Hi, what's your name?"

"Toooooddddd"


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oo8CrY_ZfFk

 
MVP
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Posted: #11
Hippy Dippy Weather Man.........
 
Captain
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Posted: #12
Quote Originally Posted by Gbobgunn:

Telling it like it is.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sk-oAWH_W6c

Haha.  I love that one too.

"What?  They have bigger d!cks than us! Bomb them!"

Bomb them
 
Captain
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Posted: #13
Quote Originally Posted by BWS77:

#1

"Hi, what's your name?"

"Toooooddddd"


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oo8CrY_ZfFk


Damn BWS, I forgot about this one.  This guy is hilarious.  Thanks for sharing man.  
 
Captain
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Posted: #14
Quote Originally Posted by The Hawk:

Hippy Dippy Weather Man.........

Hawk is coming from the old school.  That's another good one sir,  You must know his material by bringing this one up.

"Tonight's forecast......Dark."

Another classic one.

Let's keep them coming fellas.
 
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Posted: #15
Quote Originally Posted by canovsp:

Flying on the airlines

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdPy5Ikn7dw

This is a good one.  Still applies to sh!t that happens today when it was written before 9/11.

Seinfeld had a good one about airlines that doesn't apply to today's airline standards.  
 
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Posted: #16
"Our temperature out at the airport............who cares? NOBODY lives at the airport! Downtown, it's much hotter..................downtown is ON FIRE, MAN!"
 
Captain
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Posted: #17
Quote Originally Posted by BWS77:

#1

"Hi, what's your name?"

"Toooooddddd"


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oo8CrY_ZfFk


This is a great bit. I have a good friend named Todd and a cousin named Kyle. Occasionally to break balls, I send this bit to them. Another stupid name is Jayden. My nephew is named Jayden and I ask, why didn't you name him Jason!  

Because of Todd!!!!!
 
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Posted: #18
Quote Originally Posted by Slobbasaurus:


This is a great bit. I have a good friend named Todd and a cousin named Kyle. Occasionally to break balls, I send this bit to them. Another stupid name is Jayden. My nephew is named Jayden and I ask, why didn't you name him Jason!  

Because of Todd!!!!!

My buddy named his kid Cameron, this was the first thing I sent to him.   

Hoping someone I know names a kid Tucker so I can say "fukk Tucker, Tucker sucks!"
 
 
Captain
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Posted: #19
That's really funny BWS because I was thinking the same thing.

Where's Tucker at?  There has to be one on this site.  

I guarantee you that he cries after he masterbates, hahaa.

Here are other soft boys names that deserve an honorable mention:

Aiden

Mason

Caden

Logan

Jayce

Goofy phucking boys names!  What are the these parents thinking!!!!

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