little red riding hood from the wolf's perspective.

Wolf giving a statement on the charges of attempted homicide,trespassing
Sheriff : " So what do you have to say for yourself?"
Wolf: " Well after I hurt my paw working for Pigs Construction I been laid up. I saw the old ladies house. Thought she might be able to spare a little food."
Sheriff : " Go on..."
Wolf : " Well I knocked on the door and she mistook me for some long lost relative. I admit I didn't know her ,but the food she had this big spread, eggs bacon, home f is sausage toast coffee juice second and third helping best I eaten well ever. After breakfast she thought I was tired told me she was headed to town for some food and I was to make myself at home tucked me into bed. , so I just dozed off and this brat woke me.
Sheriff: Miss Hood?
Wolf Yes, she immediately starting picking on me, First how big my eyes were, then got after my nose, and whiskers, finally my teeth I always been sensitive about my teeth with the cavities so I said better to eat you with, we'll it got rid of her so I thought next thing I knew you were halling me out....
You see this was all a big misunderstanding I was simply trying to get the brat to stop picking at me.and let me go back to sleep. .....

hahahaha

Oh God... 

Hahaha, that's shot

Sheriff : "the three pigs construction has also served you with a no trespassing order. Said you were destroying property."
Wolf : " Well I don't know what you have for code enforcement but I literally breathed on the grass cabana. It fell over. Same with the stick built construction over on main street. I went to see the boss in his brick mansion about the shot ty work and he threw bricks at me that's how I hurt my paw. I told him I was going to town building inspector and he said I was fired."
Sheriff : " Well he said you were cursing huffing and puffing."
Wolf " ya they wouldn't pay me . I got hot under the collar. But I didn't touch either house I simply yelled at them and the place fell over...."

Wolfie!!!

How do you explain the Big Bad Wolf eating the grandmother?  

The old lady just went to town after the breakfast I couldn't eat another bite....

Unless you are talking about her tucking me in all I can say is she left the house with a big smile.....

You's just a misunderstood brotha 

Wolf : I had a cushy pad , plenty of food, nice company. If it wasn't for that brat of a kid I be set for the winter..... things like this seem to always happen to a nice fellow like myself....

MORAL OF THE STORY, when things are starting to look up its best to keep your mouth shut and not sweat the small things......

Now.... Bears version of goldilocks from papa bear...
Sheriff : " how may I help you Mr Bear?"
Mr Bear : " I am here to report a break in. "
Sheriff : " okay what happened."

PAPA BEAR: " Your really not going to believe this but My wife made porridge this morning it was a little hot so I saw some wild blueberries down on lane road so I says let's go get some berries while we wait for our porridge to cool be nice to mix into it gave me the Mrs and junior some family time we gone for less than a half hour...."
Sheriff : " okay...."
Bear : " while we were out we got our berries and headed back. We came in and someone ate all juniors porridge that wasn't enough they got into me and the Mrs porridge as well then the burglar trashed the place broke juniors chair to pieces."
Sheriff " so do think you know who would do this to you and your family."
Bear " Absolutely we found the culprit napping in juniors bed it was that Locks girl Goldie...:

Sheriff " are you sure the locks are good people."
Mr Bear, " sure as I am standing here , her and the hoods daughter red have been running together I heard she called Mr Wolf granny cause he got laid up with the paw." , " I am telling you these kids are out of control."

Moral that ties both stories it ain't easy being in Law Enforcement even in happily ever after ville.