Joke.

 A son asks the old man "Dad how do I find a nice woman."

The old man states wash up take a shower on Friday after work use some deorderant. And go to where your friends hangout on a Friday.

So the son does he showers shave uses a little cologne as well he heads for the door and picks up his dad's flashlight.

The father demand wooo h where you going with my mag light there boy???

His son states I need this ...

Dad " why?"

Son "Look at what you came home with...."

@nature1970

2 go were training to be rangers they finished basic took infantry for air started training in Bragg for jump school qualification.

After the four week in class learning  the were put fitted for a medium altitude jump.

In the plane the fist argent prompted the company. You will step to this door in single file. I will count one to three jump. The hook will release the main shoot immediately if the main shoot doesn't work don't worry pull the secondary cord and a deuce and a half will be waiting on the ground.

The men stepped forward and jumped the rest of the shoots open but not theirs they waited counted to 3 and pulled the secondary cord which rapped up with the primary failed shoot as they descended one called down to the othwr... you know what , they lying about that transport as well...nice knowing ya...