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    All Forums | General Discussion

    Hitchhikers

    Midnight1
    lennon65
    rustie
    StumpTownStu
    Doja45
    ...
    Participants:
    Search
    Views: 512
    Posts: 25
     
    Midnight1
    Midnight1
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    Posted: Apr. 16, 2022 - 9:18 PM ET #1

    Picked up a hitchhiker today. He seemed like a nice guy.

    After a while though, he asked me if I wasn't afraid that he might be a serial killer.

    I told him that the odds that two unrelated serial killers were in the same car at the same time were astronomical.

    He asked to get off at the next exit.

    Reply
    To remove first post, remove entire topic.

    Picked up a hitchhiker today. He seemed like a nice guy.

    After a while though, he asked me if I wasn't afraid that he might be a serial killer.

    I told him that the odds that two unrelated serial killers were in the same car at the same time were astronomical.

    He asked to get off at the next exit.

     
    lennon65
    lennon65
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    Posted: Apr. 16, 2022 - 9:21 PM ET #2

    thumbs_up

    an_cheers

    Bravo

    Reply

    thumbs_up

    an_cheers

    Bravo

     
    rustie
    rustie
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    Posted: Apr. 16, 2022 - 9:42 PM ET #3

    I saved a woman from getting raped today-

     

    I stopped following her

    Rust never sleeps
    Reply

    I saved a woman from getting raped today-

     

    I stopped following her

     
    StumpTownStu
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    Posted: Apr. 16, 2022 - 11:46 PM ET #4

    @Midnight1

     So wait. Was there an actual hitchhiker? I'm so deadpan that if I told a story like this, while funny, I'd be so serious. All the way down to the serial killer comment. I would never pick up a hitchhiker though. Not even a chick.

    R.I.P. #94 MARSHAWN KNEELAND - DC4L
    Reply

    @Midnight1

     So wait. Was there an actual hitchhiker? I'm so deadpan that if I told a story like this, while funny, I'd be so serious. All the way down to the serial killer comment. I would never pick up a hitchhiker though. Not even a chick.

     
    Doja45
    Doja45
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    Posted: Apr. 17, 2022 - 1:27 AM ET #5

    @rustie

     an_roll_laugh

    Savage bro

    Reply

    @rustie

     an_roll_laugh

    Savage bro

     
    sundance
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    Posted: Apr. 17, 2022 - 5:05 AM ET #6

    an_worship

    Reply

    an_worship

     
    spockgato
    spockgato
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    Posted: Apr. 17, 2022 - 9:42 AM ET #7

    I stopped the auto on the pronto ,
    on a long stretch at the crossroads ,
    I thought I saw a ghost ,
    nope , 
    just some hobo on a lonely stroll broken from what God chose
    For him ,
    the vision lingered on my cortex ,
    and I was pensive 
    cuz that poor piece of shit had a limp and his portly finger was extended ,
    so I said imma be a Christian and emitted a  “ get in “
    in an instant ,
    in a second ,
    I wasn’t even hesitant ,
    I didn’t even think it ,
    I just reflexed it ,
    quick , on a whim , in a jif , it wasn’t peanuts , but it’s what I spread to him
    He began to get incredulous , skeptical , red nosed , you know , just motherfucckin’ negative
    He said this : “ this isn’t the index or the thumb , and you must be dumb , this one’s the middle , and you can stick the Lexus up your cunnt  “
    What the fucck ?
    is this real life ?
    i peeled wheels
    hit the pipe ,
    wishin’ this miscreant wouldn’t even live to breathe or see another single miserable night
    I heard a Tractor Trailer got dat sumbitch
    fucck that motherfucckin’ prick , he shoulda just jumped in……

    wallstreetcappers craps in his draws and pees fuckin backwards from his vaj with a squirt.
    Reply

    I stopped the auto on the pronto ,
    on a long stretch at the crossroads ,
    I thought I saw a ghost ,
    nope , 
    just some hobo on a lonely stroll broken from what God chose
    For him ,
    the vision lingered on my cortex ,
    and I was pensive 
    cuz that poor piece of shit had a limp and his portly finger was extended ,
    so I said imma be a Christian and emitted a  “ get in “
    in an instant ,
    in a second ,
    I wasn’t even hesitant ,
    I didn’t even think it ,
    I just reflexed it ,
    quick , on a whim , in a jif , it wasn’t peanuts , but it’s what I spread to him
    He began to get incredulous , skeptical , red nosed , you know , just motherfucckin’ negative
    He said this : “ this isn’t the index or the thumb , and you must be dumb , this one’s the middle , and you can stick the Lexus up your cunnt  “
    What the fucck ?
    is this real life ?
    i peeled wheels
    hit the pipe ,
    wishin’ this miscreant wouldn’t even live to breathe or see another single miserable night
    I heard a Tractor Trailer got dat sumbitch
    fucck that motherfucckin’ prick , he shoulda just jumped in……

     
    mrusso
    mrusso
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    Posted: Apr. 17, 2022 - 10:52 AM ET #8

    Funny stuff. Used the thumb a few times back in the day. Got to a few concerts that way and got stoned on the way. Actually met sum cool people thumbing. Picked up a chick in Tampa thumbing early 2000s, last hitchhiker I've seen. Stopped at Lowry Park, burned one and she gave me a BJ, seriously. Wilder days then, much wilder.

    "I'm afraid all we may have done is awakened a sleeping giant."
    Reply

    Funny stuff. Used the thumb a few times back in the day. Got to a few concerts that way and got stoned on the way. Actually met sum cool people thumbing. Picked up a chick in Tampa thumbing early 2000s, last hitchhiker I've seen. Stopped at Lowry Park, burned one and she gave me a BJ, seriously. Wilder days then, much wilder.

     
    UNIMAN
    UNIMAN
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    Posts: 10454
    Posted: Apr. 17, 2022 - 12:45 PM ET #9

    Sounds strangely familiar??????

    https://twitter.com/mathematicsprof/status/1137802611829202944?lang=en

    Reply

    Sounds strangely familiar??????

    https://twitter.com/mathematicsprof/status/1137802611829202944?lang=en

     
    Midnight1
    Midnight1
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    Posts: 25544
    Posted: Apr. 17, 2022 - 1:10 PM ET #10

    @UNIMAN

     A good joke is a good joke no matter where it comes from. Find it kind of odd that you would research a joke. Boring life, huh?

    Enough of Covers today. Time for family in beautiful South Florida.

    Happy Easter to all!

    Reply

    @UNIMAN

     A good joke is a good joke no matter where it comes from. Find it kind of odd that you would research a joke. Boring life, huh?

    Enough of Covers today. Time for family in beautiful South Florida.

    Happy Easter to all!

     
    vetdrm
    vetdrm
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    Posts: 14987
    Posted: Apr. 17, 2022 - 1:55 PM ET #11

    Hitchhiked through the state of Florida back in the late 70s. Too many serial killers to list back then, most notably Ottis Toole and Henry Lee Lucas,roaming the highways and byways that I traveled back then. Little scary. Great times though.

    Reply

    Hitchhiked through the state of Florida back in the late 70s. Too many serial killers to list back then, most notably Ottis Toole and Henry Lee Lucas,roaming the highways and byways that I traveled back then. Little scary. Great times though.

     
    mctrap
    mctrap
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    Posts: 1363
    Posted: Apr. 17, 2022 - 2:38 PM ET #12

    Quote Originally Posted by Midnight1:

    Picked up a hitchhiker today. He seemed like a nice guy. After a while though, he asked me if I wasn't afraid that he might be a serial killer. I told him that the odds that two unrelated serial killers were in the same car at the same time were astronomical. He asked to get off at the next exit.

    Totally credible since you openly support mass murderers like Gates and Fauci.

    Relax. I'm unvaxxed!
    Reply

    Quote Originally Posted by Midnight1:

    Picked up a hitchhiker today. He seemed like a nice guy. After a while though, he asked me if I wasn't afraid that he might be a serial killer. I told him that the odds that two unrelated serial killers were in the same car at the same time were astronomical. He asked to get off at the next exit.

    Totally credible since you openly support mass murderers like Gates and Fauci.

     
    mctrap
    mctrap
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    Joined: Feb, 2008
    Posts: 1363
    Posted: Apr. 17, 2022 - 2:39 PM ET #13

    Quote Originally Posted by Midnight1:

    Picked up a hitchhiker today. He seemed like a nice guy. After a while though, he asked me if I wasn't afraid that he might be a serial killer. I told him that the odds that two unrelated serial killers were in the same car at the same time were astronomical. He asked to get off at the next exit.

    Totally credible since you openly support mass murderers like Gates and Fauci.

    Relax. I'm unvaxxed!
    Reply

    Quote Originally Posted by Midnight1:

    Picked up a hitchhiker today. He seemed like a nice guy. After a while though, he asked me if I wasn't afraid that he might be a serial killer. I told him that the odds that two unrelated serial killers were in the same car at the same time were astronomical. He asked to get off at the next exit.

    Totally credible since you openly support mass murderers like Gates and Fauci.

     
    StumpTownStu
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    Posts: 22234
    Posted: Apr. 17, 2022 - 3:16 PM ET #14

    Quote Originally Posted by mrusso:

    Funny stuff. Used the thumb a few times back in the day. Got to a few concerts that way and got stoned on the way. Actually met sum cool people thumbing. Picked up a chick in Tampa thumbing early 2000s, last hitchhiker I've seen. Stopped at Lowry Park, burned one and she gave me a BJ, seriously. Wilder days then, much wilder.

    I used to hook up with runaways in the greyhound bathroom when I was a teenager in the 90s but never hitchhiked or picked up a hitcher.

    R.I.P. #94 MARSHAWN KNEELAND - DC4L
    Reply

    Quote Originally Posted by mrusso:

    Funny stuff. Used the thumb a few times back in the day. Got to a few concerts that way and got stoned on the way. Actually met sum cool people thumbing. Picked up a chick in Tampa thumbing early 2000s, last hitchhiker I've seen. Stopped at Lowry Park, burned one and she gave me a BJ, seriously. Wilder days then, much wilder.

    I used to hook up with runaways in the greyhound bathroom when I was a teenager in the 90s but never hitchhiked or picked up a hitcher.

     
    Midnight1
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    Posted: Apr. 17, 2022 - 5:37 PM ET #15

    @StumpTownStu

     What the hell were you doing hanging around the greyhound bathrooms?

    Those are some nasty places Stu.

    Reply

    @StumpTownStu

     What the hell were you doing hanging around the greyhound bathrooms?

    Those are some nasty places Stu.

     
    Midnight1
    Midnight1
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    Posted: Apr. 17, 2022 - 7:12 PM ET #16

    This morning our priest was presenting a children’s sermon.

    During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was.

    A little boy raised his hand, and said, “I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor.”

    NOTE TO UNIMAN: IT'S A JOKE

    Reply

    This morning our priest was presenting a children’s sermon.

    During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was.

    A little boy raised his hand, and said, “I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor.”

    NOTE TO UNIMAN: IT'S A JOKE

     
    mrusso
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    Posted: Apr. 17, 2022 - 8:12 PM ET #17

    @Midnight1

     Preferably a doctor named Denisean_wink

    "I'm afraid all we may have done is awakened a sleeping giant."
    Reply

    @Midnight1

     Preferably a doctor named Denisean_wink

     
    StumpTownStu
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    Posted: Apr. 17, 2022 - 10:29 PM ET #18

    Quote Originally Posted by Midnight1:

    @StumpTownStu  What the hell were you doing hanging around the greyhound bathrooms? Those are some nasty places Stu.

    an_roll_laugh

    I used to catch Greyhound from.Oakland to Tahoe to visit my cousins when I was a teenager. There was always a layover of 30 minutes to 2 hours in Sacramento. The main Greyhound terminal, along with a mall, was downtown on the site of the Golden 1 center, the current home of the Kings. There was always activity. And always some skeevy runaway chicks from places like Utah. Running away from the LDS church. Stuff like that. I wasn't much different than them. Well, I was a lot different than them but I still was an unaccompanied minor. Good times of a misspent youth.

    R.I.P. #94 MARSHAWN KNEELAND - DC4L
    Reply

    Quote Originally Posted by Midnight1:

    @StumpTownStu  What the hell were you doing hanging around the greyhound bathrooms? Those are some nasty places Stu.

    an_roll_laugh

    I used to catch Greyhound from.Oakland to Tahoe to visit my cousins when I was a teenager. There was always a layover of 30 minutes to 2 hours in Sacramento. The main Greyhound terminal, along with a mall, was downtown on the site of the Golden 1 center, the current home of the Kings. There was always activity. And always some skeevy runaway chicks from places like Utah. Running away from the LDS church. Stuff like that. I wasn't much different than them. Well, I was a lot different than them but I still was an unaccompanied minor. Good times of a misspent youth.

     
    benhogan76
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    Posted: Apr. 18, 2022 - 2:17 PM ET #19

    Quote Originally Posted by mctrap:

    Quote Originally Posted by Midnight1: Picked up a hitchhiker today. He seemed like a nice guy. After a while though, he asked me if I wasn't afraid that he might be a serial killer. I told him that the odds that two unrelated serial killers were in the same car at the same time were astronomical. He asked to get off at the next exit. Totally credible since you openly support mass murderers like Gates and Fauci.
    If Gateway Pundit tells you it must be true.peace_5  

    We should stop eating bananas.
    Reply

    Quote Originally Posted by mctrap:

    Quote Originally Posted by Midnight1: Picked up a hitchhiker today. He seemed like a nice guy. After a while though, he asked me if I wasn't afraid that he might be a serial killer. I told him that the odds that two unrelated serial killers were in the same car at the same time were astronomical. He asked to get off at the next exit. Totally credible since you openly support mass murderers like Gates and Fauci.
    If Gateway Pundit tells you it must be true.peace_5  

     
    TheGoldenGoose
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    Posted: Apr. 19, 2022 - 12:50 AM ET #20

    Quote Originally Posted by vetdrm:

    Hitchhiked through the state of Florida back in the late 70s. Too many serial killers to list back then, most notably Ottis Toole and Henry Lee Lucas,roaming the highways and byways that I traveled back then. Little scary. Great times though.

    Hitchhiking back in the 70’s was a popular mode of travel. Gas, Grass, or Azz.  Nobody rode for free.  
    One guy I picked up all the time was a serious bad azz and when people saw me hanging with him NOBODY fukked with me. Funny shlt!!!

    ~~~~~ZOSO~~~~~
    Reply

    Quote Originally Posted by vetdrm:

    Hitchhiked through the state of Florida back in the late 70s. Too many serial killers to list back then, most notably Ottis Toole and Henry Lee Lucas,roaming the highways and byways that I traveled back then. Little scary. Great times though.

    Hitchhiking back in the 70’s was a popular mode of travel. Gas, Grass, or Azz.  Nobody rode for free.  
    One guy I picked up all the time was a serious bad azz and when people saw me hanging with him NOBODY fukked with me. Funny shlt!!!

     
    mctrap
    mctrap
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    Posted: Apr. 19, 2022 - 6:55 PM ET #21

    Quote Originally Posted by lennon65:

    Bravo

    No, hitchhiker jokes went out of style probably around 1975. Pretty sad that someone would recycle an out of date joke from 47 years ago just to get some attention.  att_please   confused

    Relax. I'm unvaxxed!
    Reply

    Quote Originally Posted by lennon65:

    Bravo

    No, hitchhiker jokes went out of style probably around 1975. Pretty sad that someone would recycle an out of date joke from 47 years ago just to get some attention.  att_please   confused

     
    mrusso
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    Posted: Apr. 19, 2022 - 8:45 PM ET #22

    @mctrap

     Ah, but it rekindled sum memories.bigsmile

    "I'm afraid all we may have done is awakened a sleeping giant."
    Reply

    @mctrap

     Ah, but it rekindled sum memories.bigsmile

     
    Fuse
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    Posted: May. 14, 2022 - 4:14 PM ET #23

    new_dead

    Learn, be content and stay disciplined.
    Reply

    new_dead

     
    fullblown
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    Posted: May. 15, 2022 - 4:00 PM ET #24

    Quote Originally Posted by mctrap:

    Quote Originally Posted by Midnight1: Picked up a hitchhiker today. He seemed like a nice guy. After a while though, he asked me if I wasn't afraid that he might be a serial killer. I told him that the odds that two unrelated serial killers were in the same car at the same time were astronomical. He asked to get off at the next exit. Totally credible since you openly support mass murderers like Gates and Fauci.

    you NEED to be put down

    Reply

    Quote Originally Posted by mctrap:

    Quote Originally Posted by Midnight1: Picked up a hitchhiker today. He seemed like a nice guy. After a while though, he asked me if I wasn't afraid that he might be a serial killer. I told him that the odds that two unrelated serial killers were in the same car at the same time were astronomical. He asked to get off at the next exit. Totally credible since you openly support mass murderers like Gates and Fauci.

    you NEED to be put down

     
     
    Sidehatch
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    Posted: May. 24, 2022 - 2:22 AM ET #25

    Donald Trump was driving his daughter Ivanka through Atlantic City and told her, “Honey, one of these days your name will be on the top of all these buildings … if you marry a guy named Borgata.” 

    - a wasted Artie Lange circa 2004, roasting Trump (who looked pissed)

    Reply

    Donald Trump was driving his daughter Ivanka through Atlantic City and told her, “Honey, one of these days your name will be on the top of all these buildings … if you marry a guy named Borgata.” 

    - a wasted Artie Lange circa 2004, roasting Trump (who looked pissed)

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