Posted:
#1
This has to be the most universal unwritten rule for men in public restrooms.
If there are three urinals in a row, or some number greater than 2, and the other urinals are free, do not piss next to the urinal with a occupant.
Moreover, if three urinals are in a row and all are free, never choose the middle one. This causes the guy coming in to take a leak to go into a stall.
No one ever told me these rules. These rules are genetically encoded in all men.
Which is why I find it completely bizarre one guy at my job consistently chooses the middle urinal right next to me when I'm on the far left one.
But it goes one step further!
He also chooses to do some sort of military-esque "wide stance" so his shoe comes under the barrier of my urinal! On occasion, his shoe was pressed up against mine! If I move my shoe, I castrate my pride so my shoe isn't moving, however uncomfortable. He seems oblivious to the entire episode even though he created it. (Correction, I "hope" he's oblivious. If anyone remembers Larry Craig's (R- Idaho) wide stance episode, this entire ordeal turns into the Twilight Zone).
Talk about uncomfortable! What man wants to play footsies with another guy while he's taking a leak?
If you don't already know this instinctively, now you know: if there are several open urinals in a restroom, never choose the one right next to the guy doing his business if you have the option. That urinal is just for show! Your urinal is the one adjacent to that one or one further down the line!
Thank you.
I'm guessing you pee like the smeagol technique
....and then go back to finish my piss. I'm the guy that can't go when you're standing there watching me, scal...keep your distance.
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