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Women and Money question

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Posted: #1
Who better to come to women advice then the resident degenerates at covers?
 
So I met this gal about 2 months ago.  She is a great gal in every aspect of a relationship other then 1.  She is attractive, intelligent, funny, has a great heart, and someday would most likely make a wonderful mother.  The 1 issue I see that she has is a crap load of student loan debt.  On the surface this shouldn't seem like a big deal right?  However, we haven't exactly gotten into detail about it but she mumbled out a couple of days ago that she owes 40k on a student loan with a 20% interest rate.  Does this make any sense?  She said something about getting a private loan for her 3rd and 4th year of college.  I have never heard of such a high interest rate on a student loan.
 
What would you do?  Is that something you would lbe willing to take on?  If I say no to the debt, does that make me a stuck up money grubbing person like the one's I curse? 
 
I am an all or nothing type of guy.  There has to be a middle ground on this right? 
 
advice please!!!
 
P.S. Please no, "This thread is useless without pictures."  No pictures will be posted.  You are going to have to take my word that she is everything I claim her to be.
 
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Posted: #2
Does not pass the smell test.  She's not being totally upfront about her debt.  Does she have furniture, electronics, jewelry, nice clothing, etc that could have been charge card purchases?

It does not make you a stuck up money grabbing person to take this on.  It would, however, qualify you for being a huge patsy if you get involved with a spendaholic who expects you to open your wallet on her behalf.

~~~~~ZOSO~~~~~
 
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Posted: #3
I consider myself a pretty observant fellow.  I do not believe that this is from credit card debt. 
 
Does it make any sense to anyone that you can get a student loan with a 20% interest rate?  She said something about it being a "private student loan."  Whatever that means.
 
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Posted: #4

even if it is a private student loan it is highly doubtful that it would be at an interest rate of 20%.

Most student loans on both sides range from 6%-8.5%

 

 
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Posted: #5
Quote Originally Posted by sean2114:

even if it is a private student loan it is highly doubtful that it would be at an interest rate of 20%.

Most student loans on both sides range from 6%-8.5%

 

So you are calling BS.  It is quite possible that she doesn't know the actuall interst rate.  She is a journalism major, so finances are not exactly her strong suite.

I guess my next question is just to ask to see her finances???  Do people ask these questions when they get serious in a relationship?  I would assume so... but I have no idea. 

 I make deals on a daily basis, and this one on face value does not look good.  However, it is hard to put a moneteary value on the word love.  Or is it?

 

 
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Posted: #6
Unless you are getting married tomorrow, this is totally irrelevant at this point.
 
I'm guessing she's out of school. If her credit is good, she should be able to get a better rate than 20% even on an unsecured personal loan. The fact that she brought it up means it bothers her, sounds like a responsible person to me. Offer to look things over for her if she wants, see if you can help her get a better deal.
 
And yes, a private student loan given to someone with little or bad credit history could be that high, interest rates haven't always been as low as they are now.
 
 
 
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Posted: #7
20% interest rate
------------
this is insane and she may not be upfront with you

doesnt matter now but if you marry her, her debt is your debt


 
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Posted: #8
Quote Originally Posted by 3rd_and_Long:

Unless you are getting married tomorrow, this is totally irrelevant at this point.
 
I'm guessing she's out of school. If her credit is good, she should be able to get a better rate than 20% even on an unsecured personal loan. The fact that she brought it up means it bothers her, sounds like a responsible person to me. Offer to look things over for her if she wants, see if you can help her get a better deal.
 
And yes, a private student loan given to someone with little or bad credit history could be that high, interest rates haven't always been as low as they are now.
 
 

 

Thank you for the response. 

Before I get to the bold... I don't plan on getting married tomorrow, however time is a pricless comodity (sp?).  When is a good time to look into this situation?

It does bother her.  A little more of the story.  She graduated school about 4 years ago and from what I understand has been paying down her student loans every month.  Her dad passed away a couple years back and that was very hard on her.  He left her some $$$, how much I am not exactly sure.  Enough to purchase a condo, with 20% down, and a reasonable interest rate. 

I guess my next qustion is, when is it time to help, offer advice on finances to your significant other? 

 
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Posted: #9
Quote Originally Posted by KOAJ:

20% interest rate
------------
this is insane and she may not be upfront with you

doesnt matter now but if you marry her, her debt is your debt


I am with 3rd, I read her as responsible, yet not knowledagble about her finances.  Understand completely that her debt is my debt, if marriage is in the future. 

From what I have shared, what makes you think she is not being upfront? 

I didn't know personal student loans of 20% existed.  Haven't heard any students comment about these personal student loans.

 
MVP
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Posted: #10
Quote Originally Posted by KOAJ:

20% interest rate
------------
this is insane and she may not be upfront with you

doesnt matter now but if you marry her, her debt is your debt




i agree...i took out some private loans as well and it's around the 5-6% area..but 20%?!?!? damn, who did she borrow from? the mafia?!?
 
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Posted: #11

Quote Originally Posted by maxdreamer:



i agree...i took out some private loans as well and it's around the 5-6% area..but 20%?!?!? damn, who did she borrow from? the mafia?!?

Thanks maxdreamer

So you took out some private student loans and the interest rate is/was 5-6%?

Don't know who she borrowed from, but I want to get to the bottom of it. 

I am begining to believe that she does not know the actual interest rate she is paying. 

 
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Posted: #12
my wife has student loans, some private, some govt. the privates are 6.5% and the government at 1-2% roughly

you can get involved all you want but marriage today is like a corporate merger. if you have assets and cash and you are buying "a company" with a lot of debt, you better make sure they debt laden company can create earnings or some sort of intangible positive down the road
 
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Posted: #13
Quote Originally Posted by KOAJ:

my wife has student loans, some private, some govt. the privates are 6.5% and the government at 1-2% roughly

you can get involved all you want but marriage today is like a corporate merger. if you have assets and cash and you are buying "a company" with a lot of debt, you better make sure they debt laden company can create earnings or some sort of intangible positive down the road

Couldn't agree more!

Have come along way since walking the dog aroung wrigley looking for a nice piece of tail

 
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Posted: #14
escort
 
This lady friend of yours has student loan debt with a 20% interest. First off that is wrong. If it were credit card debt, fine, but a student loan, no way.
 
Second of all, her dad passes and she gets some money from her pops. Instead of drawing down the loan she invests in a condo, which probably wasn't really needed depending on her living conditions prior to receiveing the money.
 
Let's say the condo was $300-$350K, with 20% down she forked out $60-$70K on a down payment where $40K would have satisfied the alleged student loan debt. If this is all true then what you have here is someone who makes bad decisions. Unless the condo was needed to live because she was homeless, fine, but an apartment would have sufficed in this situation and a much lesser cost.
 
So is it a bad decision or is something else going on? You need to fish man. A resonable person would have drawn down the loan with that money instead of purchasing a condo. At least IMO. She could have paid off her debt and still had money left over.
 
Good Luck, but either of the two scenarios smell. 
COVERS allows u to tell someone they are sexually frustrated so long as ur hands are clean
 
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Posted: #15
M E-
 
Perhaps she meant that by private loan, was that she just meant that she put $40k onto a credit card at 20% interest and just calls it a private loan maybe. Even so, it sounds like if needed, she has that amount of money if she had to pay it down at once, since you said she has money for a condo. I wouldn't sweat it at all. She has money and she has been paying it off. I wouldn't let this get in the way of a possible relationship. GL
 
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Posted: #16
Quote Originally Posted by ABooksNightmare:

escort
 
This lady friend of yours has student loan debt with a 20% interest. First off that is wrong. If it were credit card debt, fine, but a student loan, no way.
 
Second of all, her dad passes and she gets some money from her pops. Instead of drawing down the loan she invests in a condo, which probably wasn't really needed depending on her living conditions prior to receiveing the money.
 
Let's say the condo was $300-$350K, with 20% down she forked out $60-$70K on a down payment where $40K would have satisfied the alleged student loan debt. If this is all true then what you have here is someone who makes bad decisions. Unless the condo was needed to live because she was homeless, fine, but an apartment would have sufficed in this situation and a much lesser cost.
 
So is it a bad decision or is something else going on? You need to fish man. A resonable person would have drawn down the loan with that money instead of purchasing a condo. At least IMO. She could have paid off her debt and still had money left over.
 
Good Luck, but either of the two scenarios smell. 

That is the 40k question.

A reasonable person would think this way... Shouldn't everyone think this way?  She is intelligent and understand her field very well.  However, when it comes to financial decision it is not her strong suit.  I don't think I have the entire story, but as you suggest I will do some fishing.

 
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Posted: #17
There are many options for consolidating student loans.  Of course, if this debt is not a student loan it cannot be consolidated as such.  You might inquire some but I wouldn't worry about it, if everything else is "go" what's $40,000?  Just make sure it is current and keep making the payments.
 
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Posted: #18

gfinger,

Hate to get Hallmark on you... but are you saying, that money shouldn't get in the way of love?

 
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Posted: #19
gentlemen,
 
I really appreciate all the comments in thsi thread. 
 
I only know you guys virtually, but thanks for helping me deal with this issue.  I will do some exploring/fishing/detective work on the situation and find out what is going on. 
 
SInce all of you have been such a big help, I will post back in a couple of days when I have some more information on the subject.
 
Thanks again
 
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Posted: #20
Well if your talking someone with in excess of 100K in debt, with no job, or no assets, or no future, or something like that, then sure that can get in the way of love I suppose. But $40k in debt, c'mon. That is a sort of a drop in the bucket in terms of a loan. Let's say you do marry her, all you have to get is get a reasonable interest rate and that thing will be paid off in no time. Life is short bro. GL
 
Legend
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Posted: #21
debt is unattractive, but there's two different kinds

1) Student loan debt is understandable.  I'm not sure about this 20% deal, but it's a forgivable debt nonetheless.  It's hard to blast someone for trying to get an education (albeit an expensive one at that)

2) Credit card/stupid debt is a major deal. . . to me it translates to being irresponsible on all fronts.  There's nothing worse than someone who doesn't plan and just impulse buys things accumulating debt all over the place, and it's a turn off for me.  It's just asking for trouble unless you're borrowing now to make money later with a businesslike plan

I'd say she's more #1, in which case, it wouldn't bother me so much.  That being said, if it got real serious, it's something that I'd like to know the details about and how fast it would/can be paid off.  As far as I'm concerned, when/if I ever get married, I'm going to be damn certain I'm not starting off in the red if it's at all possible.




Bagel Sandwiches Suck
 
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Posted: #22
Here’s a thought....why don’t you ask her about it?
 
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Posted: #23
I work at a college and student loans at 20% DO EXIST and all this meant is that she probably lived off these loans (so she paid tuition and probably rent/supplies/et al).  The payments for this loan are going to be insane, especially if this is being deferred. 
 
Private student lending is a mess and i advise students all the time against them, but most need them to stay in school and get by.  The bitch of it is when you graduate you make like 30K and there is no way you can afford the payment of 5, 6, or 700 a month....its predatory lending if you ask me.
 
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Posted: #24
When it comes to marriage I always said i would check on debt before i got married.....there is no way that i am taking on some broads 100K in loans when i am virtually debt free.
 
 
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Posted: #25
Soon we'll all have bar codes and we can just start scanning the coochie codes to see what's going on.....You'll know right away what's going on with the strange before you even buy her a drink......
COVERS allows u to tell someone they are sexually frustrated so long as ur hands are clean
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