Messages

Forum Index : General Discussion : Messages
Author: [General Discussion] Topic: Rate This Guy’s Obituary That He Wrote Himself
I_Need_A_Detox
RSI Wagerline RSI Rating
send a private message View Space | Friends | Playbook | My Sportsbook: BETFRED.com |
I_Need_A_Detox
Participation Meter
All-Star
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 13288
Location: Massachusetts
#1
Posted: 7/17/2012 3:55:29 PM

From Salt Lake Tribune

Val Patterson 1953 – 2012

I was Born in Salt Lake City, March 27th 1953. I died of Throat Cancer on July 10th 2012. I went to six different grade schools, then to Churchill, Skyline and the U of U. I loved school, Salt Lake City, the mountains, Utah. I was a true Scientist. Electronics, chemistry, physics, auto mechanic, wood worker, artist, inventor, business man, ribald comedian, husband, brother, son, cat lover, cynic. I had a lot of fun. It was an honor for me to be friends with some truly great people. I thank you. I’ve had great joy living and playing with my dog, my cats and my parrot. But, the one special thing that made my spirit whole, is my long love and friendship with my remarkable wife, my beloved Mary Jane. I loved her more than I have words to express. Every moment spent with my Mary Jane was time spent wisely. Over time, I became one with her, inseparable, happy, fulfilled. I enjoyed one good life. Traveled to every place on earth that I ever wanted to go. Had every job that I wanted to have. Learned all that I wanted to learn. Fixed everything I wanted to fix. Eaten everything I wanted to eat. My life motto was: “Anything for a Laugh”. Other mottos were “If you can break it, I can fix it”, “Don’t apply for a job, create one”. I had three requirements for seeking a great job; 1 – All glory, 2 – Top pay, 3 – No work.

Now that I have gone to my reward, I have confessions and things I should now say. As it turns out, I AM the guy who stole the safe from the Motor View Drive Inn back in June, 1971. I could have left that unsaid, but I wanted to get it off my chest. Also, I really am NOT a PhD. What happened was that the day I went to pay off my college student loan at the U of U, the girl working there put my receipt into the wrong stack, and two weeks later, a PhD diploma came in the mail. I didn’t even graduate, I only had about 3 years of college credit. In fact, I never did even learn what the letters “PhD” even stood for. For all of the Electronic Engineers I have worked with, I’m sorry, but you have to admit my designs always worked very well, and were well engineered, and I always made you laugh at work. Now to that really mean Park Ranger; after all, it was me that rolled those rocks into your geyser and ruined it. I did notice a few years later that you did get Old Faithful working again. To Disneyland – you can now throw away that “Banned for Life” file you have on me, I’m not a problem anymore – and SeaWorld San Diego, too, if you read this.

To the gang: We grew up in the very best time to grow up in the history of America. The best music, muscle cars, cheap gas, fun kegs, buying a car for “a buck a year” – before Salt Lake got ruined by over population and Lake Powell was brand new. TV was boring back then, so we went outside and actually had lives. We always tried to have as much fun as possible without doing harm to anybody – we did a good job at that.

If you are trying to decide if you knew me, this might help… My father was RD “Dale” Patterson, older brother “Stan” Patterson, and sister “Bunny” who died in a terrible car wreck when she was a Junior at Skyline. My mom “Ona” and brother “Don” are still alive and well. In college I worked at Vaughns Conoco on 45th South and 29th East. Mary and I are the ones who worked in Saudi Arabia for 8 years when we were young. Mary Jane is now a Fitness Instructor at Golds on Van Winkle – you might be one of her students – see what a lucky guy I am? Yeah, no kidding.

My regret is that I felt invincible when young and smoked cigarettes when I knew they were bad for me. Now, to make it worse, I have robbed my beloved Mary Jane of a decade or more of the two of us growing old together and laughing at all the thousands of simple things that we have come to enjoy and fill our lives with such happy words and moments. My pain is enormous, but it pales in comparison to watching my wife feel my pain as she lovingly cares for and comforts me. I feel such the “thief” now – for stealing so much from her – there is no pill I can take to erase that pain.

If you knew me or not, dear reader, I am happy you got this far into my letter. I speak as a person who had a great life to look back on. My family is following my wishes that I not have a funeral or burial. If you knew me, remember me in your own way. If you want to live forever, then don’t stop breathing, like I did. A celebration of life will be held on Sunday, July 22nd from 4:00 to 6:00 pm at Starks Funeral Parlor, 3651 South 900 East, Salt Lake City, casual dress is encouraged. 
Online condolences may be offered and memorial video may be viewed atwww.starksfuneral.com.

barstoolsports.com

quote
Messier-11
RSI Wagerline RSI Rating
send a private message View Space | Blog | Friends | Playbook |
Messier-11
Participation Meter
Captain
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 9114
Location:
#2
Posted: 7/17/2012 3:57:50 PM
makes u think twice about your tobacco habit that's for sure....
quote
lovethedough send a private message View Space | Friends | Playbook |
lovethedough
Participation Meter
Veteran
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2345
Location: New York
#3
Posted: 7/17/2012 3:59:03 PM
A+
quote
TheGoldenGoose
RSI Wagerline RSI Rating
send a private message View Space | Blog | Friends | Playbook | My Sportsbook: BetDSI |
TheGoldenGoose
Participation Meter
MVP
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18003
Location: United States
#4
Posted: 7/17/2012 4:16:41 PM

Watched my Grandfather die of lung cancer.  It wasn't pretty.

Banned from Disneyland?  And SeaWorld too?  Pathetic.

This guy flunks the course of life.  Too much time spent on his own enjoyment and never considered his actions directly affect other people. 

Careless, Stupid, and Selfish is no way to go though life.
quote
Messier-11
RSI Wagerline RSI Rating
send a private message View Space | Blog | Friends | Playbook |
Messier-11
Participation Meter
Captain
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 9114
Location:
#5
Posted: 7/17/2012 4:31:06 PM
i kinda feel like he was exaggerating a bit for comedic purposes. maybe im wrong though and he did get banned from all those fun parks
quote
kickinA
RSI Wagerline RSI Rating
send a private message View Space | Friends | Playbook |
kickinA
Participation Meter
All-Star
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 13462
Location: California
#6
Posted: 7/17/2012 4:40:07 PM

quote
I_Need_A_Detox
RSI Wagerline RSI Rating
send a private message View Space | Friends | Playbook | My Sportsbook: BETFRED.com |
I_Need_A_Detox
Participation Meter
All-Star
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 13288
Location: Massachusetts
#7
Posted: 7/17/2012 4:48:22 PM
QUOTE Originally Posted by TheGoldenGoose:


Watched my Grandfather die of lung cancer.  It wasn't pretty.

Banned from Disneyland?  And SeaWorld too?  Pathetic.

This guy flunks the course of life.  Too much time spent on his own enjoyment and never considered his actions directly affect other people. 

Careless, Stupid, and Selfish is no way to go though life.




quote
vetdrm
RSI Wagerline RSI Rating
send a private message View Space | Friends | Playbook |
vetdrm
Participation Meter
Captain
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 8056
Location: Antarctica
#8
Posted: 7/17/2012 5:08:46 PM
Sounds like a great guy and enjoyed life.
quote
MakeSumCake
RSI Wagerline RSI Rating
send a private message View Space | Blog | Friends | Playbook |
MakeSumCake
Participation Meter
Veteran
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 2994
Location: Texas
#9
Posted: 7/17/2012 5:45:54 PM
quote
jmw59
RSI Wagerline RSI Rating
send a private message View Space | Blog | Friends | Playbook |
jmw59
Participation Meter
All-Star
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 12937
Location: Louisiana
#10
Posted: 7/17/2012 5:53:49 PM
PhD
quote
TheGoldenGoose
RSI Wagerline RSI Rating
send a private message View Space | Blog | Friends | Playbook | My Sportsbook: BetDSI |
TheGoldenGoose
Participation Meter
MVP
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18003
Location: United States
#11
Posted: 7/17/2012 5:56:55 PM
QUOTE Originally Posted by I_Need_A_Detox:









This guy does not sound selfish to you?
quote
onarush
RSI Wagerline RSI Rating
send a private message View Space | Blog | Friends | Playbook |
onarush
Participation Meter
Rookie
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 538
Location: Florida
#12
Posted: 7/17/2012 6:03:08 PM
R.I.  Val...

Tx for sharing detox... 


quote
TheGoldenGoose
RSI Wagerline RSI Rating
send a private message View Space | Blog | Friends | Playbook | My Sportsbook: BetDSI |
TheGoldenGoose
Participation Meter
MVP
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18003
Location: United States
#13
Posted: 7/17/2012 6:26:35 PM

"
We always tried to have as much fun as possible without doing harm to anybody – we did a good job at that."





Sorry, but I think you flunked.  Stealing a safe from a business establishment?  Faking a PhD diploma?  Vandalism a State Park?  Banned for life from Disneyland and SeaWorld?  And the worst crime of all... making your life companion suffer through your miserable demise because you continued to smoke yourself to death?

The man is a complete failure and a burden to others throughout his entire life.  The only good thing he did was spare his family the agony of the funeral. 

Good riddance.  Rot in Hell you POS.





quote
I_Need_A_Detox
RSI Wagerline RSI Rating
send a private message View Space | Friends | Playbook | My Sportsbook: BETFRED.com |
I_Need_A_Detox
Participation Meter
All-Star
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 13288
Location: Massachusetts
#14
Posted: 7/17/2012 7:51:05 PM
QUOTE Originally Posted by TheGoldenGoose:


"
We always tried to have as much fun as possible without doing harm to anybody – we did a good job at that."





Sorry, but I think you flunked.  Stealing a safe from a business establishment?  Faking a PhD diploma?  Vandalism a State Park?  Banned for life from Disneyland and SeaWorld?  And the worst crime of all... making your life companion suffer through your miserable demise because you continued to smoke yourself to death?

The man is a complete failure and a burden to others throughout his entire life.  The only good thing he did was spare his family the agony of the funeral. 

Good riddance.  Rot in Hell you POS.






,,,, 
quote
Skipbone
RSI Wagerline RSI Rating
send a private message View Space | Blog | Friends | Playbook |
Skipbone
Participation Meter
Veteran
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 4108
Location:
#15
Posted: 7/17/2012 8:04:12 PM

Rot in hell?

I'd say you, Goose, are the POS.

quote
I_Need_A_Detox
RSI Wagerline RSI Rating
send a private message View Space | Friends | Playbook | My Sportsbook: BETFRED.com |
I_Need_A_Detox
Participation Meter
All-Star
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 13288
Location: Massachusetts
#16
Posted: 7/18/2012 12:51:24 AM
Rot in hell you POS....

Jesus... One of the strangest posts I've seen. Kind of amusing when someone's thinking is that far from normal. It wasn't Gooses safe was it?
Posted using a mobile device.
quote
searchwarrant send a private message View Space | Blog | Friends | Playbook |
searchwarrant
Participation Meter
Legend
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 57568
Location: Kenya
#17
Posted: 7/18/2012 1:22:07 AM

Agree with goose. Not sure why this person is much of interest to anybody outside of family. I'm sure he was a great guy.

quote
Forum Index : General Discussion : Messages
You have entered the forum as a GUEST. 
You must login/register to post or reply.