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Moving to Vegas to become a fulltime professional drunkin', racist, lying, cokehead.....

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Prospect
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Posted: #1
I really need to get away from the East coast.  My job sucks, and my mother still tries to breast feed me even though I am still in my late 20's.  I have anger issues, and am bipolar.  Because of this I feel I will fit in well with the Vegas locals.

I can think of no better place to blow my entire life savings over a 2 month span.  When I end up living down on D Street, and am turning tricks for my next fix I will have truly made it in this profession.

What do you all think?  Can I do it?  I'd like to share my journey with all of you. I'll even make dumb you tube videos for all of you that get 57 views. I don't want any advise from the experts, so Josh Hamilton and Josh Gordon please stay out of my thread.

If you don't have anything nice to say please stay out of my thread as well.  If you make me mad I'll tell you where I live so I can beat you up because I'm a tough guy to.  One time I knocked out 4 guys with a frozen talapia filet, and stabbed their eyes out with a salad fork.

LETS GO!!!!!!!!!
 
MVP
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Joined: Jul, 2006
Posts: 19693
Posted: #2
You need to get ahold of this guy named TDogg25 or something. He changes his name a lot, BUT HE WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.
He knows EVERYTHING. Just ask him......

Sorry. That should read "B*tt, he will always love you" (I think you know what I mean).

Word of advice: If you're going to bet basketball games, try to avoid games where there are a majority of black players, just in case. Know what I'm sayin'?

Good Luck
 
All-Star
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Posted: #3
Quote Originally Posted by mlaack34:

I really need to get away from the East coast.  My job sucks, and my mother still tries to breast feed me even though I am still in my late 20's.  I have anger issues, and am bipolar.  Because of this I feel I will fit in well with the Vegas locals.

I can think of no better place to blow my entire life savings over a 2 month span.  When I end up living down on D Street, and am turning tricks for my next fix I will have truly made it in this profession.

What do you all think?  Can I do it?  I'd like to share my journey with all of you. I'll even make dumb you tube videos for all of you that get 57 views. I don't want any advise from the experts, so Josh Hamilton and Josh Gordon please stay out of my thread.

If you don't have anything nice to say please stay out of my thread as well.  If you make me mad I'll tell you where I live so I can beat you up because I'm a tough guy to.  One time I knocked out 4 guys with a frozen talapia filet, and stabbed their eyes out with a salad fork.

LETS GO!!!!!!!!!


I'm rolling on my sides. 
 
Captain
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Posted: #4
Let's effing goooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!
 
Banned
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Posts: 721
Posted: #5

Topic: Moving to Vegas to become a fulltime professional drunkin', racist, lying, cokehead.....

HOW DARE YOU STEAL MY LIFE GOAL AND PLAN!!!!!!!!

I"D SUE YOUR AZZ IF I WAS A NO GOOD MONEY GRUBBING J.E.W.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
Veteran
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Posts: 1286
Posted: #6
Just make sure ALL bets are (multi)thousand-dollar bets...

you'll gain tons of fans, all of whom will BELIEVE you; if for no other reason than they couldn't afford to do such themselves.




just never get drunk, or go on a drug binge, and accidentally admit that your money wasn't hard-earned or produced by Parker Bros.  that'll cause you to lose your fanbase.  (not all of 'em, you'll still have the pubic lice...err, true supporters)
 
Prospect
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Posted: #7
Sorry I left the thread for awhile.  I was at the strip club.  I really like strippers.  They have almost as many mental issues as I do.  Most of them also have kids.  I really like kids.  I showed my butt to a 3 year old once.  Her mom wouldn't let me stop.  I was almost finished but she didn't even realize I started yet.
Hanging out with strippers takes away a lot of my drug money, but I like to get high with blue balls.
Where is Scal?  He doesn't like me, but I think he is just jealous.  He can not snort coke as well as I can because he has a deviated septum.  He is probably going to come in here and give us a three page write-up on why drugs are bad.  I'm the professional here.  I don't need any advise.

I think I am going to bet the Nets and UConn tonight in a parlay.  The games are already over, but I'm sure I'll find someone to take my bet.  If I lose I will get pissed and chug a 4 pack of Bartles and James Fuzzy Navel, and then punch these nice pillows I have on my couch that my mom bought me.  I hate you mom!

LETS GOOOOO!!!!!
 
Legend
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Posted: #8

Finally a good post in gd.

Reminds me of the ole days of Getliquid.

 
Legend
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Posted: #9
Sorry I left the thread for awhile.  I was at the strip club.  I really like strippers.  They have almost as many mental issues as I do.  Most of them also have kids.  I really like kids.  I showed my butt to a 3 year old once.  Her mom wouldn't let me stop.  I was almost finished but she didn't even realize I started yet.
Hanging out with strippers takes away a lot of my drug money, but I like to get high with blue balls.
 
 
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Posted: #10
 
MVP
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Posted: #11
A little over the top but pretty gdamn funny nonetheless. 

 
All-Star
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Posted: #12
This thread needs more views, this is gold. 
 
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Posted: #13
this has archive written all over it
 
Veteran
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Posted: #14
You haven't made it 'TIL you're finger-banging a stripper with a sob story about her boyfriend.


It may cost you...but when the above is met, you're truly better than everyone else on this site
 
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Posted: #15
    We need update
 
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Posted: #16
I know LasVegas is in the desert,but I hope they have fish and salad.
 
Prospect
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Joined: Oct, 2007
Posts: 60
Posted: #17
I'm sorry about this thread.  I did not start it.  Someone must have hacked into my account.  I had a real easy password it was password.  I've now reset it to imfullofit, so this won't happen again.

 
Prospect
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Posted: #18
You all believed me about not starting this thread didn't you?  I am a lying god!!!  My organization would be so proud of me. 

I should never have lost those games yesterday.  I won betting on those teams once before, so I should have won again right?  I'm going to go yell at my mom.  It's her fault anyway.  Hopefully she'll still reload my bank account.  The drugs and strippers are expensive out here.
I'm going to go snort some lines and go to the club tonight.  I got free passes.  They hand them out to everyone inside of the MGM, but I got mine because I had my shirt tucked into my shorts.

I'm betting Arkansas and Utah tonight.

LETS GO!!!!!!!
 
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Posted: #19
 
Captain
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Posted: #20
 
Veteran
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Posted: #21
Quote Originally Posted by mlaack34:

 I was at the strip club.  I really like strippers.  They have almost as many mental issues as I do.  Most of them also have kids.
 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMGVMtnxXEw
Gotta go pee!
 
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Posted: #22
this thread needs more love for sure
 
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Posted: #23
Awesome post!!!!! CG seriously has a mental disease and substance abuse problem and major illusions of grandeur:
remember "DONT TELL A PRO HOW TO DO HIS JOB"!!!!
 
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Posted: #24
Give the people what they want!!!

 
 
Legend
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Posted: #25
^it's a gambling forum dude....not facebook.
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