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    All Forums | General Discussion

    What's in it for a guy to get married?

    «First Previous 123
    tazs_crew
    RedDustRising
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    tazs_crew
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    Posted: Mar. 1, 2011 - 1:39 PM ET #51

    Quote Originally Posted by ogmike:

    Just thought I would chime in a bit here considering I just got engaged to my girlfriend of over 7 years.  My girlfriend is amazing... smart, beautiful, successful, laid-back, and loves her and my family.  She doesn't really nag all that much considering the time we've been together and compared to girls I've been with in the past for a far less amount of time.  Don't get me wrong, not everything is peachy all the time.  We've had our fair share of issues, but nothing like some of the stuff I've seen go on with my friends.  She's not a gold digger b/c I'm no millionaire, and she started making 6 figures after just three years with her company. 

    So, it really does sound like a lot of guys on here have been burned pretty badly.  I mean, come on guys.  To be single for the rest of your life sounds miserable!  It probably is nice at times and fun while you're young.  You can do what you want without "checking in" to make sure it's ok.  You can have a random hookup without any reservations.  Lots of perks for sure... but after a while, I'm betting a lot of you guys get lonely.  I know for a fact that statement hit home with at least some on here.  My girlfriend and I both love to travel and have been to many destinations all over the world.  In the past, I have also traveled alone and I always felt it to be kind of unfulfilling.  It sucked not having someone there to talk to and to share the moment with.  I actually remember thinking that in my head too.  There were times when I thought, "man i wish i had someone here to share this with."  I just think to be alone for the rest of your life sounds like a shitty life, especially when most of your friends begin to get married.  When you hang out with them, you start to feel like the 3rd, 5th, 7th wheel, etc.  Trust me guys, when you find a great girl, it'll all make sense.

    On a side note, this is something peculiar that I noticed about having a girlfriend versus being single.  It seems like when you're single, it is the hardest thing in the world to meet girls.  Or at least hot ones that you're interested in.  But when you're in a relationship, it feels like girls either want you more, or they have a sense that you're taken and want to try and test your fidelity.  It seems like this has been my case going all the way back to high school.  I've been put in situations where my relationship has definitely been tested, and thank goodness I was able to resist temptation.  But, I'm sure a lot of you guys can attest to this feeling.

             

     

    well said ogmike

    my long story short:

    i lived the bachelor lifestyle for a long time...went down to the states on a tennis scholarship, partied like a madman down there for 4 years, then came back to toronto and lived the bachelor lifestyle for another 8 years (drugs, partying, bars, yearly trips to new york, trips to vegas for super bowl, etc)....then out of the blue i met a great great girl a couple years ago...we got married a few months ago and man, i love coming home to someone...it is nice having dinner ready and a clean house...it is nice being able to talk to someone about things when you want..it is nice having sex when i want (well most of the time lol)...yes, she may not like the things i do sometimes but there is give and take in all relationships...we have traveled but intend on going on some great vacations in the future...very tough to do that when you're single

    now yes, a lot of people don't find healthy relationships and that is worse than being single...but after you guys get into your 30's and have done the bachelor thing, you will want to share your experiences with someone...i still drink when i want, smoke when i want, go out when i want but instead of 5 days a week, it has become 1 day a week with the guys, another night having a great dinner out and drinks with the wife...the rest of the time i am happy being at home and enjoying each others company

    to each his own but i couldn't be happier... 

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    Quote Originally Posted by ogmike:

    Just thought I would chime in a bit here considering I just got engaged to my girlfriend of over 7 years.  My girlfriend is amazing... smart, beautiful, successful, laid-back, and loves her and my family.  She doesn't really nag all that much considering the time we've been together and compared to girls I've been with in the past for a far less amount of time.  Don't get me wrong, not everything is peachy all the time.  We've had our fair share of issues, but nothing like some of the stuff I've seen go on with my friends.  She's not a gold digger b/c I'm no millionaire, and she started making 6 figures after just three years with her company. 

    So, it really does sound like a lot of guys on here have been burned pretty badly.  I mean, come on guys.  To be single for the rest of your life sounds miserable!  It probably is nice at times and fun while you're young.  You can do what you want without "checking in" to make sure it's ok.  You can have a random hookup without any reservations.  Lots of perks for sure... but after a while, I'm betting a lot of you guys get lonely.  I know for a fact that statement hit home with at least some on here.  My girlfriend and I both love to travel and have been to many destinations all over the world.  In the past, I have also traveled alone and I always felt it to be kind of unfulfilling.  It sucked not having someone there to talk to and to share the moment with.  I actually remember thinking that in my head too.  There were times when I thought, "man i wish i had someone here to share this with."  I just think to be alone for the rest of your life sounds like a shitty life, especially when most of your friends begin to get married.  When you hang out with them, you start to feel like the 3rd, 5th, 7th wheel, etc.  Trust me guys, when you find a great girl, it'll all make sense.

    On a side note, this is something peculiar that I noticed about having a girlfriend versus being single.  It seems like when you're single, it is the hardest thing in the world to meet girls.  Or at least hot ones that you're interested in.  But when you're in a relationship, it feels like girls either want you more, or they have a sense that you're taken and want to try and test your fidelity.  It seems like this has been my case going all the way back to high school.  I've been put in situations where my relationship has definitely been tested, and thank goodness I was able to resist temptation.  But, I'm sure a lot of you guys can attest to this feeling.

             

     

    well said ogmike

    my long story short:

    i lived the bachelor lifestyle for a long time...went down to the states on a tennis scholarship, partied like a madman down there for 4 years, then came back to toronto and lived the bachelor lifestyle for another 8 years (drugs, partying, bars, yearly trips to new york, trips to vegas for super bowl, etc)....then out of the blue i met a great great girl a couple years ago...we got married a few months ago and man, i love coming home to someone...it is nice having dinner ready and a clean house...it is nice being able to talk to someone about things when you want..it is nice having sex when i want (well most of the time lol)...yes, she may not like the things i do sometimes but there is give and take in all relationships...we have traveled but intend on going on some great vacations in the future...very tough to do that when you're single

    now yes, a lot of people don't find healthy relationships and that is worse than being single...but after you guys get into your 30's and have done the bachelor thing, you will want to share your experiences with someone...i still drink when i want, smoke when i want, go out when i want but instead of 5 days a week, it has become 1 day a week with the guys, another night having a great dinner out and drinks with the wife...the rest of the time i am happy being at home and enjoying each others company

    to each his own but i couldn't be happier... 

     
    RedDustRising
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    Posted: Mar. 1, 2011 - 1:50 PM ET #52

    Coming home everyday to someone who understands me as the person I am is a gift beyond any measure.

    It's too bad so many of you guys are so cynical concerning marriage.

    Good luck with that attitude...


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    Coming home everyday to someone who understands me as the person I am is a gift beyond any measure.

    It's too bad so many of you guys are so cynical concerning marriage.

    Good luck with that attitude...


     
    gunonenic
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    Posted: Mar. 1, 2011 - 3:35 PM ET #53

    I'm curious if you even read the title of your own thread?

    What's in it for a guy to get married

     

    I guess you can ask the same question pretaining to just about everything in your very existence. What's in it for a person to get a higher education when one can support himself/herself with menial jobs that offer a steady paycheck but little self-fulfillment... what's the benefit of establishing meaningful relationships when one can blend into the mainstream living a life of peaceful anonymity...

    The better question is...

    In taking such risk to attach oneself emotionally and financially to another entity capable of great destruction, how much risk is too much?

     

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    I'm curious if you even read the title of your own thread?

    What's in it for a guy to get married

     

    I guess you can ask the same question pretaining to just about everything in your very existence. What's in it for a person to get a higher education when one can support himself/herself with menial jobs that offer a steady paycheck but little self-fulfillment... what's the benefit of establishing meaningful relationships when one can blend into the mainstream living a life of peaceful anonymity...

    The better question is...

    In taking such risk to attach oneself emotionally and financially to another entity capable of great destruction, how much risk is too much?

     

     
    DaddyDiesel
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    Posted: Mar. 1, 2011 - 4:00 PM ET #54

    Look, there is no reason for a guy in his 20's to even broach the subject of marriage.  I am 24 and have no business getting serious with another women.  I enjoy living the bachelor lifestyle of getting money, dying slow, and banging quick.  I have this theory called the Jesus Rule.  Not that I am a religious fanatic, but essentially, according to Christian doctrine, Jesus died when he was in his physical prime which correlates to the biblical images of being a sacrificial lamb.  Basically, I take this idea and apply to my life in so far as thinking that I want to live my prime and enjoy it to the fullest.  I don't want to live with regrets or hold grudges against someone for not being able to do all the thing I want to do before its too late.  I do acknowledge that with time comes wisdom which will inevitably lead to wanting to pursue a partnership with someone.  Until that time, I will try to bang as many freaks as I can, drink as much as I want, and live the lifestyle that I see fit.
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    Look, there is no reason for a guy in his 20's to even broach the subject of marriage.  I am 24 and have no business getting serious with another women.  I enjoy living the bachelor lifestyle of getting money, dying slow, and banging quick.  I have this theory called the Jesus Rule.  Not that I am a religious fanatic, but essentially, according to Christian doctrine, Jesus died when he was in his physical prime which correlates to the biblical images of being a sacrificial lamb.  Basically, I take this idea and apply to my life in so far as thinking that I want to live my prime and enjoy it to the fullest.  I don't want to live with regrets or hold grudges against someone for not being able to do all the thing I want to do before its too late.  I do acknowledge that with time comes wisdom which will inevitably lead to wanting to pursue a partnership with someone.  Until that time, I will try to bang as many freaks as I can, drink as much as I want, and live the lifestyle that I see fit.
     
    Nitro
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    Posted: Mar. 1, 2011 - 7:27 PM ET #55

    Quote Originally Posted by DaddyDiesel:

    Look, there is no reason for a guy in his 20's to even broach the subject of marriage.  I am 24 and have no business getting serious with another women.  I enjoy living the bachelor lifestyle of getting money, dying slow, and banging quick.  I have this theory called the Jesus Rule.  Not that I am a religious fanatic, but essentially, according to Christian doctrine, Jesus died when he was in his physical prime which correlates to the biblical images of being a sacrificial lamb.  Basically, I take this idea and apply to my life in so far as thinking that I want to live my prime and enjoy it to the fullest.  I don't want to live with regrets or hold grudges against someone for not being able to do all the thing I want to do before its too late.  I do acknowledge that with time comes wisdom which will inevitably lead to wanting to pursue a partnership with someone.  Until that time, I will try to bang as many freaks as I can, drink as much as I want, and live the lifestyle that I see fit.

     

    Bingo!  You're supposed to get it out of your system first before you get married or you're going to have problems.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DaddyDiesel:

    Look, there is no reason for a guy in his 20's to even broach the subject of marriage.  I am 24 and have no business getting serious with another women.  I enjoy living the bachelor lifestyle of getting money, dying slow, and banging quick.  I have this theory called the Jesus Rule.  Not that I am a religious fanatic, but essentially, according to Christian doctrine, Jesus died when he was in his physical prime which correlates to the biblical images of being a sacrificial lamb.  Basically, I take this idea and apply to my life in so far as thinking that I want to live my prime and enjoy it to the fullest.  I don't want to live with regrets or hold grudges against someone for not being able to do all the thing I want to do before its too late.  I do acknowledge that with time comes wisdom which will inevitably lead to wanting to pursue a partnership with someone.  Until that time, I will try to bang as many freaks as I can, drink as much as I want, and live the lifestyle that I see fit.

     

    Bingo!  You're supposed to get it out of your system first before you get married or you're going to have problems.

     
    dl36
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    Posted: Mar. 2, 2011 - 5:33 AM ET #56

    Nitro,

    This is a lot of good mainland advice... but if you are thinking about living and succeeding with the Hawaii formula you might consider a different approach...

    In Hawaii there is a smaller pool of people...  and alot of the times the good ones are already taken... In the mainland there are way more people and people move from city to city... Dating multiple people is much easier and less complicated then in Hawaii...

    If you plan on living in Hawaii you might consider a different formula...  I think the best way to do relationships in Hawaii is to to use a metaphor of surfing...

    You catch your wave and ride it out...  Paddle back out and then catch another wave, paddle back and look for another...

    So rather then always trying to get it out of your system, you should have a few long relationships of like a year or so and then break up and go nuts for a while because you are now single...  but then entire time have something you are working on for your next "serious" relationship and when it ends go nuts again...  You might tho in the end find the relationship that works for you...

    Some will wait for the perfect wave to come to them while everyone is riding waves and learning how to surf better and gain an understanding for it...

    So eventually tho in your late 20s... The good ones will start getting engaged and you will feel the pool shrinking...  the girls your age that you knew in highschool and UH will start getting married and your possibilities will seem to decrease quickly...  You would be surprised how many "WTF? couples" end up getting together because of this factor (even worse in neighbor islands)


    Also depends on what type of woman you like...  Thinking about outside of the box with a transplant from asia or mainland can have its benefits....  But if you are looking for a normal local girl, you gotta play by Hawaii rules... 

    But if you can plant some seeds with some past relationships that were meaningful, you might be able to fall back on them as possible marriage material later once you have both matured and "gotten it out of your system"



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    Nitro,

    This is a lot of good mainland advice... but if you are thinking about living and succeeding with the Hawaii formula you might consider a different approach...

    In Hawaii there is a smaller pool of people...  and alot of the times the good ones are already taken... In the mainland there are way more people and people move from city to city... Dating multiple people is much easier and less complicated then in Hawaii...

    If you plan on living in Hawaii you might consider a different formula...  I think the best way to do relationships in Hawaii is to to use a metaphor of surfing...

    You catch your wave and ride it out...  Paddle back out and then catch another wave, paddle back and look for another...

    So rather then always trying to get it out of your system, you should have a few long relationships of like a year or so and then break up and go nuts for a while because you are now single...  but then entire time have something you are working on for your next "serious" relationship and when it ends go nuts again...  You might tho in the end find the relationship that works for you...

    Some will wait for the perfect wave to come to them while everyone is riding waves and learning how to surf better and gain an understanding for it...

    So eventually tho in your late 20s... The good ones will start getting engaged and you will feel the pool shrinking...  the girls your age that you knew in highschool and UH will start getting married and your possibilities will seem to decrease quickly...  You would be surprised how many "WTF? couples" end up getting together because of this factor (even worse in neighbor islands)


    Also depends on what type of woman you like...  Thinking about outside of the box with a transplant from asia or mainland can have its benefits....  But if you are looking for a normal local girl, you gotta play by Hawaii rules... 

    But if you can plant some seeds with some past relationships that were meaningful, you might be able to fall back on them as possible marriage material later once you have both matured and "gotten it out of your system"



     
     
    I-Got-5-On-It
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    Posted: Mar. 2, 2011 - 11:50 AM ET #57

    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro:

    For me, I'd rather be single and happy, which I am, than frustrated and married. Getting married and having children sounds like an old cliche already.

     

    Bet 5 Play Over Parlays and get rich
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro:

    For me, I'd rather be single and happy, which I am, than frustrated and married. Getting married and having children sounds like an old cliche already.

     

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