16 RULES TO CUT DOWN THE NETS (Or throw up in a bar stall)
1. Whenever Bill Raftery uses any of his trademark phrases such as “man-to-man” or “onions!,” drink one. Naturally, drink two if there is a double order.
2. Every time someone uses the term “Cinderella,” drink.
3. Every time someone talks about how Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski being a “teacher and a coach” or the team’s 92 percent graduation rate, drink one and punch yourself in the head.
4. 4. Every time someone talks about Maryland’s Greivis Vasquez being a polarizing player, do a shot of tequila.
5. 5. Every time they show a shot of a buzzer beater, pour a few sips out for your homie Christian Laettner and chug the rest of your beer.
6. 6. Every time they talk about how a No. 12 always beats a No. 5, drink.
7. 7. Every time they talk about Virginia Tech getting shafted for an at-large bid, take 339 tiny sips, one for each place in the rankings of the Hokies non-conference schedule.
9. 8. Every time they talk about President Obama’s bracket, drink.
10. 9. Every time Texas hits a jump shot– should be a max of three times per game -- drink.
11. 10. Every time Kansas forward Cole Aldrich is praised for coming back for his senior year to be a lottery pick in a horrendous draft, drink.
12. 11. Every time the announcers discuss Georgetown forward Austin Freeman’s diabetes, do a lemon drop – a packet of sugar into flavored vodka.
13. 12. Every time they show a picture of Houston coach Tom Penders, put on your tanning glasses and do a shot.
14. 13. Every time they show a Cisco commercial featuring Ellen Paige, drink.
14. Every time Gus Johnson screams during a first-half layup, drink.
17. 15. Every time Villanova commits a terrible, unforced turnover, drink
20. 16. Every time they show a preview for the masters, drink. Chug your drink if they show or mention Tiger Woods.
What rules do you suggest for this year’s Big Dance?
Hot Forum Topics
