And why he died.
I often wonder about the last thoughts the crossed his mind before he put a large bullet hole through his heart despite having a Hall of Fame career and also depiste being in a financially great position with his saved money and pending business deals (restaurants, etc).
We cared for two days and I have heard nothing. I was at the Nats game today and during the rain delay, these two gentlemen near me were talking anout Seau and making fun of him for being mentally weak. Said he could not "deal with the real world." I was with my 3 yr old son so I said nothing and minded my own business. But I was disturbed. When a man makes a decision to take his own life, odds are, he was so alone and in a world most humans have not experienced. You dont just put a bullet into your heart.
I have been in the bottom of the well. I have wondered if suicide was a viable option. This was years ago and before I had my own family but lets stop living in a fantasy world where we think we are a bigger deal than reality. You will live 70-80 yrs and then its over. The pain some people suffer during the course of that time can at times be unbearable. And if they take there own life, shame on there friends and family. Easy to say right?
I had a soldier call me one day in 2006 in Colorado Springs, CO. We had returned from Iraq 42 days prior and it was a tough deployment. Not crazy tough but tough. He called me because I was his superior officer and he explained to me that he bought a car that he could not afford...it was a Mustang. He was drunk when he called me. Oddly enough, so was I.
He mentioned on the cell that if he smashed the car, his insurance would cover it and he would be ok. I remember laughing and telling him it is not that easy. I was an officer. He was a Private First Class. Why was he calling his Lieutenant? I guess perhaps I was too drunk to really think that through. He went on the highway that night with that mustang and hit the median. On purpose? Who knows? He died instantly. His roomate was killed in combat months prior and I still did very little to ensure he was OK.
Next morning, I drive out to the scene. Horrible. The cops and what not had cleaned up most of it but the little that was left felt like hell to me. 20 yrs old he was. Not sure if he killed himself from pain or was just really trying to get rid of his car payment. But I know this...he was a great soldier and did everything I told him for a year. And he reached out to me in a time of need. I wonder who Junior reached out to. Tough to swallow.
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