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Author: [NHL Betting] Topic: The Gary Bettman Series Selections
Polar_Bear
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#1
Posted: 4/12/2012 6:55:56 PM
This is just for fun.  These are the teams I think Gary would like to see win.

Nashville...darn Hockey Town, they had their days in the sun. We are in need of some Hillbilly Hockey says Uncle Gary! Oh and by the way if Shea Weber wants to smash Zetterbergs head in at the end of a game, that's quite alright says Gary. You are to do nothing about it.

Phoenix...Owned by the Mob and the NHL...You do the math. Uncle Gary could not be reached for comment on this one.

Los Angeles...Easiest one on the board. TEAM HOLLYWOOD against the rioters from Canada that gave the NHL a black eye. Get rid of those clowns as fast as you can says Gary. Gary adds I can't wait to sit beside Sylvester Stallone during the Conference Finals!

San Jose/St Louis...California team that Gary screwed over pretty bad last year with shady icing calls and officiating in that Vancouver series. The young Blues are a nice story too though, and maybe we can use a few more tv's in the midwest? Tough call, plus if we are gonna have Team Hollywood advance do we need these guys? Just let em play says Gary!

Florida/Jersey...No brainer for the fanbase down south but it will be tough to make happen. They might have to get creative. Plus with Kovalchuk and the Old Marty Story this one is probably a saw off. Just let em play says Gary!

Pittsburgh...The two darling Poster Boys. Mind you they had their turn just a few years ago so not so sure how that love affair is right now to be honest. Gary will discuss this more in depth with Sidney during their Private Turkish Bath tomorrow. Favors will be requested by Gary. Stay tuned....

New York...They could give two shits about any Canadian team. No worries about empty buildings or lost revenue there. The Sens fans are ecstatic their team over achieved and made the playoffs. New York success is a media success. Gimme a bite of that big Apple says Gary!

Washington...Pretty simple here the Bruins had their turn and Ovie and the girls are in town. Gary got THE CALL from Barrack Obama. Gary says that ungrateful little prick Tim Thomas needs to go pronto!

Just sittin on the laptop sippin some grey goose. All meant in fun. No animals were harmed during the posting of this thread.

Uncle Gary says enjoy the games. He promises to keep you in suspense. Gary adds, he will decide what icing is. He will decide what offside is. He will decide what a distinct kicking motion is. He will decide if the player interfered with the goalies ability to stop the puck or not. Gary would like to add, Brett Hulls skate was not actually in the crease, Martin Gelinas did not actually score to win the Flames the Cup and Wayne Gretzky did not actually high stick Doug Gilmour in the face and no that was not really blood all over Dougies face!


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#2
Posted: 4/12/2012 7:00:07 PM
HAHA nice 
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CanadaCup
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#3
Posted: 4/12/2012 7:02:01 PM
Hillbilly Hockey pass the moonshine Jethro   
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#4
Posted: 4/12/2012 7:04:48 PM

Hey PB doesn't Uncle Gary want to see another Vancouver riot?

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metalbill
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#5
Posted: 4/12/2012 7:06:16 PM
gotta love uncle gary, such a good guy he is. how many more years till canada gets to win the cup again gary?
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Pucksrus
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#6
Posted: 4/12/2012 7:30:07 PM
 Hillbilly Hockey   
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#7
Posted: 4/12/2012 8:27:15 PM

This is one of the greatest posts I ever read on covers! An instant classic

I read this and laughed my behind off...then I realized, this is actually very accurate! Great job Polar.

One last thing, over the last 3-5 years I have been placing series bets with the thought of "who would that little POS want to advance?" and to be honest, it has been profitable.

The Wings are an example (obviously I'm a homer). Pretty much every year in the regular they are the least penalized team in the league. Then in the playoff's, they are one of the most...

Sorry for going off path...  

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#8
Posted: 4/12/2012 8:36:14 PM
Tell Gary to go darn himself. Van in 6.
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#9
Posted: 4/12/2012 8:37:16 PM
LMAO read PB. Very well done and long live the Goose! 
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#10
Posted: 4/12/2012 10:21:38 PM
I could tell that your series wagers were based on these thoughts.  Most won't understand "the humour" but to me its crystal clear.  I was going to write a similar piece, but every 2nd word was profane and could not go thru with it.  Bumfukk Idaho for the cup!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good stuff bear
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#11
Posted: 4/12/2012 10:21:48 PM
Awesome post 
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#12
Posted: 4/12/2012 10:22:25 PM
 Except for drunken post 8
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CanadaCup
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#13
Posted: 4/12/2012 11:06:38 PM
QUOTE

Originally Posted by Polar_Bear:

Pittsburgh...The two darling Poster Boys. Mind you they had their turn just a few years ago so not so sure how that love affair is right now to be honest. Gary will discuss this more in depth with Sidney during their Private Turkish Bath tomorrow. Favors will be requested by Gary. Stay tuned....

Turkish bath

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#14
Posted: 4/13/2012 12:44:43 AM
Gary New York would CREAM all over himself IF he got Kings vs Rangers or even Kings vs Bruins (anyone remember how well his mentor David Stern did with Lakers vs Celtics?)
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#15
Posted: 4/13/2012 12:47:42 AM
QUOTE Originally Posted by LeRinkRat:

Gary New York would CREAM all over himself IF he got Kings vs Rangers or even Kings vs Bruins (anyone remember how well his mentor David Stern did with Lakers vs Celtics?)

I'm all for this 
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Pucksrus
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#16
Posted: 4/13/2012 1:49:30 AM
QUOTE Originally Posted by LeRinkRat:

Gary New York would CREAM all over himself IF he got Kings vs Rangers or even Kings vs Bruins (anyone remember how well his mentor
David Stern did with Lakers vs Celtics?)

Buttfuck use to work for that honest guy David Stern......
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#17
Posted: 4/13/2012 5:43:05 AM
Ur a fuckin clown u fagget
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Polar_Bear
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#18
Posted: 4/13/2012 12:22:55 PM
QUOTE Originally Posted by duy89:

Ur a fuckin class act PB!
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#19
Posted: 4/13/2012 12:27:22 PM
Gary and Cindy are lovers just like Thomas seguin and marchand
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#20
Posted: 4/13/2012 2:49:56 PM
This was a great fuckin readPolar" lot of truth to this thread"
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#21
Posted: 4/13/2012 2:51:48 PM
Favors in the turkish bath  Sid the kid
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#22
Posted: 4/13/2012 3:08:29 PM
QUOTE Originally Posted by duy89:

Ur a fuckin clown u fagget

Gary is that u. R u offended. Jackass....
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#23
Posted: 4/13/2012 3:16:54 PM

I'll be sitting next to Jack  in Hollywood...

...and obviuosly you forgot that the NY/NJ mob OWNS all of Florida so they will not stand for any talk of Marty and the BoyZ losing vs the little kittens from South Beach... Mr. Saprano says NO...!!!

Those Pittsburgh poster children will continue to get posterized in the process... and the Flyers will win.

Boston's Tim Thomas has proved that he HAS a legit birth certificate and his ability to stonewall teams will prevail vs the wasteful Washington D.C. Commies led by the Russkie in red

.Even the Hatfields and McCoys are together behind Hillbilly Hockey... ... so you are correct.

Another correct call in PHX where the mystery man has arrived in town to provide the coup de grĂ¢ce (/?ku? d? 'gr??s/; French: [ku d? g??s], "blow of mercy")

STL/SJ... Even I'm still pulling Sharks teeth out of my arse...

Correct again on the Rangers... Mr. Saprano has already sent orders for Alfredsson and his clan to be taken onto a small boat in the harbour so that they can go sleep with the fish...

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#24
Posted: 4/14/2012 11:40:06 AM
QUOTE Originally Posted by Pucksrus:


Gary is that u. R u offended. Jackass....

Yup, that's Uncle Gary texting in his Private Turkish Bath getting some TLC from Cindy

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#25
Posted: 4/14/2012 1:24:30 PM

 

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