I know what you’re thinking. Oooo… tough job a-hole. Drool over pictures of bikini-clad babes and then come up with some type of ranking system based on how large of a crease you’ve got in your pants.

Well bozos, this is serious business. This isn’t Miss World or Miss Earth. This is the big show. This is for all the galaxies. We’re talking about the crème de la crème.

Bookmakers set lines for this event and, as a proud degenerate gambler, I’m going to bet the shit out of this thing – but not before I do a little homework first. According to organizers, Miss Universe must be intelligent, will-mannered and cultured. That means you can’t flunk out on the questions and expect to take home the tiara. Just ask Miss South Carolina.

Let's get to the evaluation part of this story. Here's a look at the top 10 favorites to win this year's competition.

*Odds provided by betUS.com.

Miss Mexico: Jimena Navarrete (+700)

 
Oddsmakers consider this dark-haired beauty a solid favorite to walk away with this year’s honors. Wikipedia tells me Navarrete was studying nutrition before she realized she’s drop-dead gorgeous and doesn’t have to bore herself with education. That’s for ugly people.

There hasn’t been a Mexican winner since 1991 but Navarrete has got a great chance to snap drought. I mean, look at this girl. They don’t come any hotter.

Miss Russia: Irina Antonenko (+700)


Okay, here we’re talking about a lady who’s just classically beautiful. It’s like she should be starring opposite Humphrey Bogart on the silver screen.

I read a story saying she took home $100,000 in prize money for winning the Miss Russia pageant. Normally, that type of monetary cushion would deter me from backing her, but since 100,000 rubles is only like $3280 in the U.S., I think she’ll still be hungry for the main event.

Miss Ireland: Rozanna Purcell (+750)


This is your pick if you like bad girls. Purcell is taking heat for some topless pictures she took leading up to the competition. I don’t get why everyone’s bent out of shape about it. We all know that topless pictures are classy as long as you’ve got body paint on, and she did.

Besides the Miss Universe committee approved the photo shoot and, when you really thing about it, Purcell was just showing off some of her… ehemm… physical attributes.

Miss USA: Rima Fakih (+750)


Okay, so Fakih is probably the first Lebanese-born Muslim to win Miss USA. And while you might think her religion would hold her back from showing off the goods, you’d be dead wrong.

The 24-year-old is just as comfortable strutting her stuff on stage as she is wrapped around a stripper pole. You heard me right. Fakih won a pole dancing contest in 2007 as part of a Detroit radio station’s “Stripper 101” challenge.

Now that’s a special talent.

Back to the handicapping. Fakih has a degree in economics and is planning on going to law school after her pageant days are over