27 yrs old.
Mulitiple deployment. Both Iraq and Afghanistan. Went to college, deployed to Iraq as a very young 2nd lieutenant as a platoon leader in 2005. Watched my platoon sargeant die from an IED and carried him off the battlefield. Wounded from an IED 7 days later. Recovered. Just returned from Afghanistan as a Captain. Am currently a US Army Ranger and am being told to get ready for another tour to Afghanistan. Today I went to work and while on the range, my boss mentioned "Yemen." My response was "Lets get it on Sir"....but I tell ya...I toss and turn at night. I have a newborn (6 month old son), I have been married 15 months, new home, new life. I have a Masters degree so maybe I can get a job outside the Army. My contract with the Army is done but I continue to do the job because I am actually good at it and my boss' boss says that I have the potential to be something special. I know words are just words but when you hear that from a man who is on the news everyday, and has truly served his nation, it really hits home. I just do not know what to do. When I was in Iraq as a single LT, I knew that dying was a possibility and understood it. But now I am home...I sit with my son on the couch and I get teary eyed just looking at him. How ridiculous is that? He's looking at me and babbling and I get teary eyed. I think its because I have almost seen the end of war.....I would hate for him to grow up without me. He is such a good kid. He loves his Mom so much. I worked so freakin hard to get where i am at....how can I leave the Army? I hate to sound like Urban Meyer but our situation is actually much different..unless someone will pay me million of dollars...haha. I guess the bottom line is that I am now afraid to die. For the first time ever. I am scared to not be around for my son. And this enemy is so freakin bastard-like, they do kill us. My son and wife are in bed and I sit here typing and venting like a sissy. Ah...not good.