#1 When your favorite relief pitcher gives up a crucial grand slam to a weak hitter: “He probably lost his focus thinking about solutions to global poverty.”
#2 Following your top golfer’s blowing a three-stroke lead on the final hole of the Masters: “He clearly grew tired of showing up the rest of the field.”
#3 After the place-kicker of your favorite team misses an extra point to lose the Super Bowl: “It’s an EXTRA point! Shouldn’t he get an EXTRA try?"
#4 Subsequent to your favorite NBA team missing their last 10 shots to lose game 7 of the NBA finals: “The rim and backboard were clearly defective, and I bet Ralph Nader will be looking into this any day."
#5 When your favorite soccer team loses the World Cup following the ejection of their best player for head-butting: “He was just giving the other guy a piece of his mind!”
#6 Following your tennis hero’s getting drubbed in the Wimbledon final: “YOU try playing tennis with the sound of people eating strawberries and sipping champagne in the stands!”
#7 After your football team is shellacked in the Super Bowl: “They probably just hate the thought of partaking in a large, crowded parade.”
#1 When your favorite relief pitcher gives up a crucial grand slam to a weak hitter: “He probably lost his focus thinking about solutions to global poverty.”
#2 Following your top golfer’s blowing a three-stroke lead on the final hole of the Masters: “He clearly grew tired of showing up the rest of the field.”
#3 After the place-kicker of your favorite team misses an extra point to lose the Super Bowl: “It’s an EXTRA point! Shouldn’t he get an EXTRA try?"
#4 Subsequent to your favorite NBA team missing their last 10 shots to lose game 7 of the NBA finals: “The rim and backboard were clearly defective, and I bet Ralph Nader will be looking into this any day."
#5 When your favorite soccer team loses the World Cup following the ejection of their best player for head-butting: “He was just giving the other guy a piece of his mind!”
#6 Following your tennis hero’s getting drubbed in the Wimbledon final: “YOU try playing tennis with the sound of people eating strawberries and sipping champagne in the stands!”
#7 After your football team is shellacked in the Super Bowl: “They probably just hate the thought of partaking in a large, crowded parade.”
WHO IS JACK SCHITT????
The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt." Now you can intellectually handle the situation.
Jack is the son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out.
However, after being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later remarried Ted Sherlock and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name.
She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a son of nervous disposition, Chicken Schitt. Two other of the 6 children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, Were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
So now when someone says, "you don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct them.
WHO IS JACK SCHITT????
The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt." Now you can intellectually handle the situation.
Jack is the son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out.
However, after being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later remarried Ted Sherlock and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name.
She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a son of nervous disposition, Chicken Schitt. Two other of the 6 children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, Were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
So now when someone says, "you don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct them.
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