from the communist suburbs of northern Virginia:
AN UPDATE FROM BIRTHER CENTRAL:
GRAND POOBA: Followers, today is "their" turn, so I please welcome that comedienne turned actress turned activist, a lady whom I almost never agree with, Whoopi Goldburg (a standing boo-vation from the audience)
WHOOPI: Gee Pooba, I was kind of hoping that I made Popemobile status. It would have been really cool to sit inside of that sucker . . .
POOBA: Actually I don't like sitting in it . .
WHOOPI: Really, why?
POOBA: Because I don't like "The View" (pooba starts laughing wildly but nobody else reacts to his bad joke). Now Whoopi, you have followed down that tragic path that most Hollywood stars travel. First fame on the big screen then on to Republican bashing. Why?
WHOOPI: Well, I'm a stickler for detail. If you read the really small fine print on the back of your Screen Actors Guild badge, it says: "By joining the Guild, you agree to become a bleeding heart, dyed in the wool, anti-big business and anti big money liberal"
POOBA: Why do they request that?
WHOOPI: It helps ticket sales.
POOBA: Now I understand that you ticked off Bill O'Reilly and YOU, not him stormed off the set of your program.
WHOOPI: I upset him? Pooba, don't you ever watch "The View?"
POOBA: Well bits and pieces, I . . .
WHOOPI: If you and your denizens of political dysfunction would switch the channel from Faxxed News, you'd see me and Barbara and that token conservative hussy . . .
POOBA: Um I think you're talking about my sweetheart, Elisbeth Hasslebeck, You know I have a Farrah Fawcett-like poster of Elisabeth wearing a red, white and blue bikini hanging up on the wall in my bedroom . . .
WHOOPI: Oh gawd Pooba, I heard Glenn Beck was here last night and I can see you're one of the 84% . . .
POOBA: (smiling) Yes . . . (gathering himself), Um Whoopi, you defended quarterback Michael Vick, saying that it was part of his cultural upbringing to be using dogs for fighting. Don't you think that it's kind of childish to hold onto hurtful things from the past?
WHOOPI: OK then, Pooba, get rid of that Confederate flag hanging on that wall over there . . .
POOBA: No!
WHOOPI: Now listen pooba, we disagree on a lot of things, but we probably share common ground on something. Hmm, Pooba don't you agree that mankind has industrialized this planet and now we are suffering through Global Warming?
POOBA: No!
WHOOPI: Don't you agree that Afirmitive Action helps in the fight for equality?
POOBA: No!
WHOOPI: Pooba, don't you agree that every woman should have the RIGHT TO CHOOSE?
POOBA; No! . . .wait a minute there's probably just one time that I would have agreed to abortion.
WHOOPI: OK Pooba, when was that?
POOBA: 56 years ago, the day after your parents made whoopi . . .(Whoopi has that crazy cross-eyed look on her face)
adjourned