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Taking a 365 day break from all forms of gambling...

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Author: [General Discussion] Topic: Taking a 365 day break from all forms of gambling...
kaponofor3 PM kaponofor3
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Posted: 7/27/2011 11:23:23 AM
Beginning today, July 27, 2011. Here's the story.

Got in deep with my local for more money than I probably should have -- chased like a girl, knew better, but still did it because (like most of us) I'm a degenerate. I am able to pay him off in one lump sum from my savings account, but had to tell the wife about it because that amount of money I need to pay my local today would be greatly noticed once it is missing from our joint accounts. Wife was obviously pissed, didn't know I had a bookie that I was playing with on credit (although I think she probably should have known given that she knew I withdrew all my money from offshore sites after the BetEd fiasco).

Wife is now absolutely worried that I am an addict (this isn't the first time that gambling has been a discussion with us) and, unless I can prove to her that I am not, she will never feel confident in our financial future together. This is all compounded by the fact that we just found out about 2 months ago that Ms. Kap is pregnant for the first time. We decided to try and BAM, I nailed that garbage on the first friggin try, no joke. With a potential baby on the way, Ms. Kap is understandably concerned. She said she will have her trust restored in me if I go 365 days without gambling -- which she includes fantasy sports, which I think is NOT gambling, but that's another story -- and if I agree to go to 12 sessions of addiction counseling. If I won't do the addiction counseling, she wants to go to marital therapy.

I have a degree in psychology, so I don't exactly feel like I need any sort of counseling. I let garbage get out of hand, I acknowledge it, and I recognize it. I know what a counselor would tell me, I know what they look for, etc.. Nevertheless, I agreed to do it to help ensure future marital tranquility.

I'll still be hanging around the P-Box, GD, and Politics tabs, but I definitely won't be posting plays. This may be a blessing in disguise though, as I can truly try to improve my capping during this downtime and won't be risking any real funds.

Just wanted to put it out there, maybe some others can learn from my story. What would you guys do if you were in my situation and your wife requested you do the same?


Henry-Lilly PM Henry-Lilly
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Posted: 7/27/2011 11:29:51 AM
Kill your local and it all goes away.
UrdaddyinAZ PM UrdaddyinAZ
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Posted: 7/27/2011 11:33:48 AM
Been 14 months since I bet on a game. Also been about 5 months since I gambled in any form. I can tell you that I'm a much much happier man now and although once in awhile I'd be walking around with 5K cash in my pocket, it's much more satisfying to see my savings account and investment portfolio grow. Most importantly, you can go on with your life and stop checking your cell phone and ESPN every fuckin second. You are doing the right thing......football season is hard as darn, but stay steadfast in your commitment to your family and unborn child. I respect everyone here, but almost every person on this site has a significant problem and they know it. I'm still a gambler at heart and that's why I'm still on the site, to converse with people of like mind. Doesn't make it right. I know better than to try and find an outlet and place $50-$100 "entertainment" bets. That lasts about a week and then I'm betting $300-$1000 on 6 games a day. Be happy you've finally come to a breaking point. It's necessary for change.
JamesPants PM JamesPants
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Posted: 7/27/2011 11:34:26 AM
Hey Kap. 

you are making the right move.  Lets face it. I have a baby on the way in 4 weeks or less.  My first as well.  I planned to ween myself off knowing that we will need the $$ and I would feel like garbage if I fucked up my son's childhood with being a degen. 

I still will wager about 300$ bucks a month tops but thats way down from what was going on.  We now have a joint account for the first time... etc etc.  Keep your head up.  Look at it this way, you will enjoy your money now since we all know this isnt exactly lucrative. 

Now about the fantasy, I dont agree with that part. ouch. 

When my wife sees me checking scores, thats my excuse. (fantasy)  

Keep ur head up and remember its just more money thats stays in your pocket even though I know how bad you want to win your savings back. 

Betjamaica going under was probably the best thing that happened to me.. I am now with Heritage and I have yet to reload.  It sucks.

Later 
Colts03 PM Colts03
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Posted: 7/27/2011 11:37:56 AM
just another reason to not get married.  thanks kap 
kaponofor3 PM kaponofor3
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Posted: 7/27/2011 11:40:31 AM
QUOTE Originally Posted by Henry-Lilly:

Kill your local and it all goes away.


My wife wants to kill my local (he's a friend as well).  I tried to explain to her its not his fault, but mine. He's been a good local, always paid me on time, never had any hassles whatsoever. She doesn't understand that obviously but my local is a stand-up dude. She didn't care that he paid me on time which led to me buying her nice things like an iPad 2 and stuff.
MoneyShot PM MoneyShot
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Posted: 7/27/2011 11:41:05 AM
QUOTE

Originally Posted by kaponofor3:

Beginning today, July 27, 2011. Here's the story.

Got in deep with my local for more money than I probably should have -- chased like a girl, knew better, but still did it because (like most of us) I'm a degenerate. I am able to pay him off in one lump sum from my savings account, but had to tell the wife about it because that amount of money I need to pay my local today would be greatly noticed once it is missing from our joint accounts. Wife was obviously pissed, didn't know I had a bookie that I was playing with on credit (although I think she probably should have known given that she knew I withdrew all my money from offshore sites after the BetEd fiasco).

Wife is now absolutely worried that I am an addict (this isn't the first time that gambling has been a discussion with us) and, unless I can prove to her that I am not, she will never feel confident in our financial future together. This is all compounded by the fact that we just found out about 2 months ago that Ms. Kap is pregnant for the first time. We decided to try and BAM, I nailed that garbage on the first friggin try, no joke. With a potential baby on the way, Ms. Kap is understandably concerned. She said she will have her trust restored in me if I go 365 days without gambling -- which she includes fantasy sports, which I think is NOT gambling, but that's another story -- and if I agree to go to 12 sessions of addiction counseling. If I won't do the addiction counseling, she wants to go to marital therapy.

I have a degree in psychology, so I don't exactly feel like I need any sort of counseling. I let garbage get out of hand, I acknowledge it, and I recognize it. I know what a counselor would tell me, I know what they look for, etc.. Nevertheless, I agreed to do it to help ensure future marital tranquility.

I'll still be hanging around the P-Box, GD, and Politics tabs, but I definitely won't be posting plays. This may be a blessing in disguise though, as I can truly try to improve my capping during this downtime and won't be risking any real funds.

Just wanted to put it out there, maybe some others can learn from my story. What would you guys do if you were in my situation and your wife requested you do the same?


damn kap, i would hate to see you off the sports forums (NFL, NBA) but you have to do what you have to do... I wish you well.  But would it be possible that you can just limit your betting to $20 a game?? Doesnt seem like much but it would still add to that extra spice for the game while watching it. 

ClubDirt PM ClubDirt
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Posted: 7/27/2011 11:41:30 AM

i'm going to need to see a picture of your wife to properly evaluate your position here.

just joking, kap, do what you have to do and make sure you stay around either way.  things are going to change in a big way and gambling and sports won't as important to you soon.

kaponofor3 PM kaponofor3
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Posted: 7/27/2011 11:45:34 AM
QUOTE Originally Posted by UrdaddyinAZ:

Been 14 months since I bet on a game. Also been about 5 months since I gambled in any form. I can tell you that I'm a much much happier man now and although once in awhile I'd be walking around with 5K cash in my pocket, it's much more satisfying to see my savings account and investment portfolio grow. Most importantly, you can go on with your life and stop checking your cell phone and ESPN every fuckin second. You are doing the right thing......football season is hard as darn, but stay steadfast in your commitment to your family and unborn child. I respect everyone here, but almost every person on this site has a significant problem and they know it. I'm still a gambler at heart and that's why I'm still on the site, to converse with people of like mind. Doesn't make it right. I know better than to try and find an outlet and place $50-$100 "entertainment" bets. That lasts about a week and then I'm betting $300-$1000 on 6 games a day. Be happy you've finally come to a breaking point. It's necessary for change.


I thought I was the only one who did that... LOL, apparently not. Wife wanted me to delete my MLB AtBat 2011 App on my iPhone as well. I really don't need it if I'm not wagering on baseball, so I agreed.

I wonder if I will be able to make "fake" wagers in the sense that I could keep a record on college ball, NFL ball, college/pro basketball (if we get a season), for one year without wagering money. I mean what's the difference really if I am up or down XYZ amount of units whether or not there is money backing that or not? In a strange way, this could actually make me more disciplined I suppose (which is probably my old lady's point).
MACDONEGAL PM MACDONEGAL
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Posted: 7/27/2011 11:47:39 AM

Your making the right choice Kap. Go to the couseling because this will help your marriage and improve the overall quality of life as you too open a new chapter with a baby on the way. I means lets face, it for some of us our wives keep us grounded and are much more level headed then us. I know if I didn't have the sound advice from my wife, I would probably have done some fucked up things. Once you have your child, life will change and you will look back on this all as a blessing. Stay steadfast, and when your ready to jump back in, know your limts. Congrats and goodluck

OnlyGod PM OnlyGod
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Posted: 7/27/2011 11:48:07 AM
Wise choices best of luck to you
kaponofor3 PM kaponofor3
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Posted: 7/27/2011 11:48:24 AM
QUOTE Originally Posted by JamesPants:

Hey Kap. 

you are making the right move.  Lets face it. I have a baby on the way in 4 weeks or less.  My first as well.  I planned to ween myself off knowing that we will need the $$ and I would feel like garbage if I fucked up my son's childhood with being a degen. 

I still will wager about 300$ bucks a month tops but thats way down from what was going on.  We now have a joint account for the first time... etc etc.  Keep your head up.  Look at it this way, you will enjoy your money now since we all know this isnt exactly lucrative. 

Now about the fantasy, I dont agree with that part. ouch. 

When my wife sees me checking scores, thats my excuse. (fantasy)  

Keep ur head up and remember its just more money thats stays in your pocket even though I know how bad you want to win your savings back. 

Betjamaica going under was probably the best thing that happened to me.. I am now with Heritage and I have yet to reload.  It sucks.

Later 



Yeah, my wife was worried that I would put us in financial trouble with this once we have a kid. She was raised very poor and with a dad that was irresponsible with money (mom was the breadwinner really) and so she said if I ever put our child's future or choices in jeopardy because of this, there would be a real problem because she worked so hard to be in a place where her kid could have opportunities and choices she didn't growing up. It's hard to argue
with that, you know?

If I really wanted to, I could go to battle on the fantasy sports part, but I don't think it's worth it in the long run.

kaponofor3 PM kaponofor3
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Posted: 7/27/2011 11:48:56 AM
QUOTE Originally Posted by Colts03:

just another reason to not get married.  thanks kap 


Glad to be of service, although this really isn't about marriage per se, but rather about my inability to be responsible with my wagering.
kaponofor3 PM kaponofor3
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Posted: 7/27/2011 11:54:06 AM
QUOTE Originally Posted by MoneyShot:

damn kap, i would hate to see you off the sports forums (NFL, NBA) but you have to do what you have to do... I wish you well.  But would it be possible that you can just limit your betting to $20 a game?? Doesnt seem like much but it would still add to that extra spice for the game while watching it. 



It would probably be OK for a while, but like Urdaddy said, it would likely only last a period of time (plus I would have to hide it from the wife, which is deceptive and not how I want to be in a relationship).

I'll still be around, I can't quit this board as it has become one of my favorite places in the world (real or cyberspace). I love sports too much and I love talking about it too much, especially the NBA with some of the great posters in that forum. I will probably try to do, like I mentioned above, the thing where I go the whole season tracking my progress, trying to get better and see how to do this in a disciplined fashion. No need to chase losing "bets" if your "bets" are not backed by real money, right? Might give me a better long-term outlook.
kaponofor3 PM kaponofor3
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Posted: 7/27/2011 11:55:11 AM
QUOTE Originally Posted by MACDONEGAL:

Your making the right choice Kap. Go to the couseling because this will help your marriage and improve the overall quality of life as you too open a new chapter with a baby on the way. I means lets face, it for some of us our wives keep us grounded and are much more level headed then us. I know if I didn't have the sound advice from my wife, I would probably have done some fucked up things. Once you have your child, life will change and you will look back on this all as a blessing. Stay steadfast, and when your ready to jump back in, know your limts. Congrats and goodluck



Thanks for the kind words, Mac. I appreciate it, good to know there are others out there who can offer words of wisdom.

Messier-11 PM Messier-11
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Posted: 7/27/2011 12:00:36 PM
instead of counseling goto gambler anonymous meetings once a week and just listen if you don't feel comfortable sharing at first. you'll hear some horrifying stog stories that'll make you think and funyn ones you can relate to that'll make u laugh. ive been to some when i was in similar situations and they arent bad at all. 
CRRECORDS PM CRRECORDS
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Posted: 7/27/2011 12:04:01 PM
shame on you! ...you gotta tell your partner what you are doing.......counseling is for losers....they will send you to a church basement and have all of you sit in circle and whine....then every 15 or 20 minutes you all go outside and smoke cigarettes...then you go back into the basement and whine.......start documenting systems and stats and if you and the family break the code you can go to las vegas and play golf with billy walters!
kaponofor3 PM kaponofor3
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Posted: 7/27/2011 12:11:44 PM
QUOTE Originally Posted by Messier-11:

instead of counseling goto gambler anonymous meetings once a week and just listen if you don't feel comfortable sharing at first. you'll hear some horrifying stog stories that'll make you think and funyn ones you can relate to that'll make u laugh. ive been to some when i was in similar situations and they arent bad at all. 


Good idea, Messier. Maybe I will propose that instead of the counseling, because in all reality I don't think counseling will help me that much. I understand the approach from the other side of the table, what the goals are, all that fun stuff. GA might be a better avenue that the wife would accept (and would probably be less time investment by me while still keeping her happy, which is nice)
amd PM amd
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Posted: 7/27/2011 12:11:51 PM
What will happen on July 28, 2012?
HutchEmAll PM HutchEmAll
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Posted: 7/27/2011 12:15:59 PM

Kap-

I have a degree in Pyschology as well and like you, I think I understand addiction.  I haven't placed a wager for over 3 months....not for financial reasons; mainly because I just got burned out.  I didn't have the will to continue the grind.  Baseball is what got me. 

I found out I didn't miss it at all.  But you have to ask yourself why you liked gambling.  Many here love the action....or can't watch a game without action on it.  My motivation was the challenge.  I made a few bucks some years....I lost a few bucks some years.  But it never was about the money or the action.  In fact, I rarely even liked to watch events where I had action.  That's pretty different from your recreational gambler.  Also, many here get a rush win or lose.....so the continual losing doesn't serve as any sort of deterrant to continue gambling.  For me, I liked winning, but I usually got a little pissed when I lost.  Never got a huge rush either way. 

But like I said, you have to really ask yourself why you gamble.

I think you deserve a shot to prove to your wife that you are in control before you run off to treatment. 

I also think fantasy games don't qualify as traditional gambling.  Fantasy games require time and effort. If I take the time to manage my team and I win, I like a little reward for my effort.  Besides, it's an incentive for all owners to try hard and increases the competition.  Also, if you play in both fantasy football and fantasy baseball, that's 2 entry fees per year.  A finite amount of which you know before you even start.  Let's say you do football for $100 and baseball for $50....your wife knows what the costs are up front, where if you have 15-30 options to choose from EACH day, it makes it easier to get out of hand.

Just my $.02.  I

One last thing.  One of my greatest fears is to be stuck without any money....creditors banging down my door....can't meet my obligations.  I have busted my hump to put myself in a good position so I don't have to worry about that unless something REALLY bad happened.  I would never in a million years do anything to jeaopardize that. 

ManassaMauler PM ManassaMauler
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Posted: 7/27/2011 12:21:10 PM
 Don't be a stranger Kap...bol to you. I highly value your NBA info as well as all of those late night degenerate UCLA specials.
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Posted: 7/27/2011 12:23:25 PM
Kap tough spot to be in and I can relate.  I have never hid anything from the wife.  She hates that I like to gamble but she accepts that I do it responsibly as entertainment.  She does not like talking about it and she hates it even more if I try to talk to someone else about it.  I have taken her to Vegas four times and still to this day she has refused to gamble one penny.  Not one penny.  Such is life.  She also worries about this addiction angle so to prove to her that I can quit whenever I want I have not gambled one dime since late May and have no plans to until the start of the football season.  What we do for women sometimes right Kap?  Kidding of course!
Ktrain PM Ktrain
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Posted: 7/27/2011 12:27:33 PM
Kap, great read and thanks for sharing. I agree with Hutchison though about fantasy. I don't consider it gambling either. Just a form of entertainment. Kind of like a three month long movie. I understand not contesting it with the wifey though. Maybe down the road you can sell her on the idea of fantasy.
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Ktrain PM Ktrain
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Posted: 7/27/2011 12:27:34 PM
Kap, great read and thanks for sharing. I agree with Hutchison though about fantasy. I don't consider it gambling either. Just a form of entertainment. Kind of like a three month long movie. I understand not contesting it with the wifey though. Maybe down the road you can sell her on the idea of fantasy.
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PapaShango PM PapaShango
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Posted: 7/27/2011 12:28:24 PM
QUOTE Originally Posted by kaponofor3:

Beginning today, July 27, 2011. Here's the story.

Got in deep with my local for more money than I probably should have -- chased like a girl, knew better, but still did it because (like most of us) I'm a degenerate. I am able to pay him off in one lump sum from my savings account, but had to tell the wife about it because that amount of money I need to pay my local today would be greatly noticed once it is missing from our joint accounts. Wife was obviously pissed, didn't know I had a bookie that I was playing with on credit (although I think she probably should have known given that she knew I withdrew all my money from offshore sites after the BetEd fiasco).

Wife is now absolutely worried that I am an addict (this isn't the first time that gambling has been a discussion with us) and, unless I can prove to her that I am not, she will never feel confident in our financial future together. This is all compounded by the fact that we just found out about 2 months ago that Ms. Kap is pregnant for the first time. We decided to try and BAM, I nailed that garbage on the first friggin try, no joke. With a potential baby on the way, Ms. Kap is understandably concerned. She said she will have her trust restored in me if I go 365 days without gambling -- which she includes fantasy sports, which I think is NOT gambling, but that's another story -- and if I agree to go to 12 sessions of addiction counseling. If I won't do the addiction counseling, she wants to go to marital therapy.

I have a degree in psychology, so I don't exactly feel like I need any sort of counseling. I let garbage get out of hand, I acknowledge it, and I recognize it. I know what a counselor would tell me, I know what they look for, etc.. Nevertheless, I agreed to do it to help ensure future marital tranquility.

I'll still be hanging around the P-Box, GD, and Politics tabs, but I definitely won't be posting plays. This may be a blessing in disguise though, as I can truly try to improve my capping during this downtime and won't be risking any real funds.

Just wanted to put it out there, maybe some others can learn from my story. What would you guys do if you were in my situation and your wife requested you do the same?




darn dude.  Really sorry to hear about your situation.  In my opinion, I think you should do whatever your wife wants you to do right now to keep your marriage in tact.  I don't know if this is a dumb idea, but maybe you can cap without putting money on games?  A few years ago when I was stuck with a bookie, I paid him off and just capped games for the fun of it.  It may sound dumb at first, but it's better than nothing if you have that itch.  It helped me out for a while until I had a bankroll that I was safe with losing if I lost it all (never did lose it though). 

I don't know why fantasy sports would be a problem.  It's probably hard to explain anything to your wife right now, but I don't consider fantasy sports gambling unless there is big money involved.  a $50-$100 league can't hurt the bank that much.  As for football season, maybe join a contest for a fixed price and not play games individually during the season. 

I don't know if these are good ideas or enabling, but I hope for the best and hope you're still around to talk sports.  Good Luck brother. 
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