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Author: [General Discussion] Topic: God Bless Unions
Randisist
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Randisist
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#1
Posted: 2/3/2013 9:43:52 AM
A dedicated union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and, as you would expect, decided to check out the local brothels nearby. When he got to the first one, he asked the madam, "Is this a union house?"

"No," she replied, "I'm sorry it isn't."

"Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"

"The house gets $80 and the girls get $20."

Mightily offended at such unfair dealings, the man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop.

His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madame responded, "Why yes sir, this IS a union house."

The man asked, "And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"

"The girls get $80 and the house gets $20."

"That's more like it!" the man said. He looked around the room and pointed to a stunningly attractive blonde. "I'd like her for the night."

"I'm sure you would, sir," said the Madame, then, gesturing to an obese fifty-five year old haggard looking woman in the corner, "but Ethel here has seniority."
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TheGoldenGoose
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TheGoldenGoose
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#2
Posted: 2/3/2013 11:30:14 PM

Check the publishing date on your new joke book.  These jokes are at least 20 years old.  Great jokes.  Just dated.  Classics.

What else you got?
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bill702
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bill702
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#3
Posted: 2/4/2013 12:07:48 AM
QUOTE Originally Posted by TheGoldenGoose:


Check the publishing date on your new joke book.  These jokes are at least 20 years old.  Great jokes.  Just dated.  Classics.

What else you got?
haha really? This is one of the few I haven't heard
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Randisist
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#4
Posted: 2/4/2013 12:18:23 AM

Union Contract

"Men -- we've agreed on a new deal with the state. We'll no longer have to work FOUR days a week!"

"HOOORAY!!!" the crowd cheered.

"We'll quit work at 4 PM and not 5 PM!"

"HOORAY!!!" the crowd roared.

"We don't have to be in until 11 AM instead of 10 AM!"

"HOORAY!!!" the crowd thundered.

"And now, even though 99% of the roads in the country are blocked by orange barrels, we'll only have to work on Wednesdays!!"

Silence.

A voice from the back of the room asks, "You mean, EVERY Wednesday?"
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Randisist
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#5
Posted: 2/5/2013 12:28:58 PM
Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their contract's sick-leave provisions.

One morning at the bargaining table, the company's chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper, "This man," he announced, "called in sick yesterday!" There, on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score.

A union negotiator broke the silence in the room. "Wow," he said. "Think of what kind of score he could have had if he hadn't been sick!"
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Randisist
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#6
Posted: 2/5/2013 12:36:30 PM
I reported the display problem in the help forum. Sorry...
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bowlslit send a private message View Space | Blog | Friends | Playbook | My Sportsbook: 5Dimes |
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#7
Posted: 2/5/2013 12:44:29 PM
A man was driving down the road and noticed two union members working. One would dig a hole and the other would follow very closely behind and fill the whole immediately back up with dirt. They would walk forward 20 feet and repeat the process.

After a few of these cycles, the man drove up to the two men and asked them why they were performing such a confusing task.

One of the men condescendingly responded that the third member of the team was usually there to place the sign pole into the whole, but had called in sick that day.
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