YA COULD NOT HAVE SAID IT ANY BETTER. AFTER READING THIS SHIT I ABOUT PISSED MY FKN PANTS
HELL AT LEAST THEY'RE HONEST
YA COULD NOT HAVE SAID IT ANY BETTER. AFTER READING THIS SHIT I ABOUT PISSED MY FKN PANTS
HELL AT LEAST THEY'RE HONEST
HERES ONE FOR THE POLICE THINK I FOUND OUT THE CULPRIT
HERES ONE FOR THE POLICE THINK I FOUND OUT THE CULPRIT
Two notorious drunks are sitting at the bar. One is crying. The other asks what's wrong.
"I've puked all over myself again and my wife is gonna kill me."
The other drunk says "do what I do pal. Explain to your wife that some other drunk puked on you. Put a ten spot in your shirt pocket and tell her that the drunk was sorry and gave you ten dollars to have your clothes cleaned."
"Sounds like a great idea" says drunk number 1.
When he gets home, sure enough his wife is fuming and begins yelling at him about his clothes and how disgusting he is.
The drunk starts spinning the lie and says "Look for yourself, there's ten bucks in my shirt pocket."
His wife looks in the pocket and finds a twenty dollar bill. "Wait a minute, I thought you said the guy only gave you ten bucks for puking on you?"
"He did," says the drunk. "But he shit in my pants too."
Two notorious drunks are sitting at the bar. One is crying. The other asks what's wrong.
"I've puked all over myself again and my wife is gonna kill me."
The other drunk says "do what I do pal. Explain to your wife that some other drunk puked on you. Put a ten spot in your shirt pocket and tell her that the drunk was sorry and gave you ten dollars to have your clothes cleaned."
"Sounds like a great idea" says drunk number 1.
When he gets home, sure enough his wife is fuming and begins yelling at him about his clothes and how disgusting he is.
The drunk starts spinning the lie and says "Look for yourself, there's ten bucks in my shirt pocket."
His wife looks in the pocket and finds a twenty dollar bill. "Wait a minute, I thought you said the guy only gave you ten bucks for puking on you?"
"He did," says the drunk. "But he shit in my pants too."
Most emabarrassing moment of my life... me and a buddy were at a bar... I got a huge shit cramp hit me in my lower stomach, so i hauled ass to the restroom... saw the sign, headed down a hallway, which at the end were both the mens and womens side by side, and about 14 girls all lined up waiting their turn...so no way was i about to shit and then walk out for everyone to know I had just taken a slam, so I told my buddy we had to go... after minutes of arguing, we jumped in the car and hauled ass to a burger king a few miles down the road... jumped out ran up to the door, but no luck they had just closed...now panicked i jump back in the car and speed across the parking lot to Food World.... parked in the fire lane next to the door... tried to walk in cool, but at the same time sweating monster bullets because I know that any second i will be shitting, whether i am in a restroom or not.. I turn the corner down the long bread isle, and at this point i am walking pigeon toed with my hand pressing against the back of my ass trying to hold it in... too late... i have completely shit my pants full in the grocery store.... luckily it was late at night...not many people in the store shopping, but as my luck would have it, there was a young guy in the restroom cleaning it when i arrived... Very embarrassed and smelling like shit I walk into a stall, take off my pants and carefully remove my shitty underwear and chunked them in the trashcan... I night i wish i could forget, but my friend and wife will never let me.
Most emabarrassing moment of my life... me and a buddy were at a bar... I got a huge shit cramp hit me in my lower stomach, so i hauled ass to the restroom... saw the sign, headed down a hallway, which at the end were both the mens and womens side by side, and about 14 girls all lined up waiting their turn...so no way was i about to shit and then walk out for everyone to know I had just taken a slam, so I told my buddy we had to go... after minutes of arguing, we jumped in the car and hauled ass to a burger king a few miles down the road... jumped out ran up to the door, but no luck they had just closed...now panicked i jump back in the car and speed across the parking lot to Food World.... parked in the fire lane next to the door... tried to walk in cool, but at the same time sweating monster bullets because I know that any second i will be shitting, whether i am in a restroom or not.. I turn the corner down the long bread isle, and at this point i am walking pigeon toed with my hand pressing against the back of my ass trying to hold it in... too late... i have completely shit my pants full in the grocery store.... luckily it was late at night...not many people in the store shopping, but as my luck would have it, there was a young guy in the restroom cleaning it when i arrived... Very embarrassed and smelling like shit I walk into a stall, take off my pants and carefully remove my shitty underwear and chunked them in the trashcan... I night i wish i could forget, but my friend and wife will never let me.
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